


In Time (You will always be mine)

by OctoberWren



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bratva, Bratva Oliver, F/M, Felicity pops into Oliver's life, Humor, Humor with the Angst, I think? Yes, I tried to write fluff but this happened instead, I'm Sorry, Russia!, Soulmates, With A Twist, literally not metaphorically, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OctoberWren/pseuds/OctoberWren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and choose you.</p><p>Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic.  She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Time (You will always be mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi dolls and night time dwellers.
> 
> This is my first Olicty fic because I just love the eff out of those adorable muffins. I'm hoping to get my writer on but we shall see. Maybe you hate it, but I kinda like it so it's okay.
> 
> This story came to me and I ran with it, it's a bit odd but oh well. It's rated mature because of swearing in English and Russian (does that count?) and the fisticuffs. 
> 
>  There is Russian in this and Google Translate isn't know for it's reliability, so I posted the English at the bottom. I'm new to this so if I made a mistake, please feel free to let me know. (nicely of course, my feelings are delicate) 
> 
> Have fun reading and thank you for taking the time to read you are sunshine and rainbow kisses.  
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.) 
> 
> Ps. I updated quickly cause the spacing was annoying me.

She always feels a little bad for scaring the wits out of anyone unlucky enough to witness her just pop into the thin air like magic.

It’s not her fault, she has as much control of this as she does the weather. Felicity reminds herself of this while the homeless man in the alley splutters out his bottle of alcohol that she suspects is in that brown bag clutched in his hand. 

“A demon.” he gasps out, while he scurries back as close to the grimy wall as he can get. Felicity’s eyebrows raise at that, it’s not usually the first thing she hears at these moments.

“Uhm, I’m sorry?”She says and shrugs slightly, having no idea how she's supposed to tell the man that she just scared the living daylights out of, that she’s not some entity here to steal his soul. 

“Stay back you vile creature, stay back!” The man screeches while putting his fingers up in a crude gesture of a cross.

“Now wait a minute---“She says, as she holds up her hands in a non-threatening manner but the man just continues to flail away from her.

“Just like the devil to lure men to their deaths with a harlot.” The drunken man goes on and Felicity is slowly losing her calm. She’s wearing a pencil skirt with a blue blouse and flats for Pete’s sake! 

Nothing like panda shoes to scream harlot. 

She’s starting to not feel sorry at all for popping into this man’s alley.

Ag, how does her brain even have the time to make weird euphemisms? 

“Be gone Satan!” The man is now trying and failing to stand up under his own two feet and while that seems like a struggle to him, the hand sprinkling what she hopes is whiskey onto her is not. 

“Hey!” she finally snaps out when she feels the wet whiskey (She can smell what it is, thank the wifi.) fall on her face, the man falls back on his ass at her voice.

“It’s not okay to call a woman a harlot and it’s not nice to judge.” Felicity says, and before she can stop herself she feels the rant building. “You don’t know me; I’m actually a pretty decent person. I tip my waiter, I don’t call the cops when my neighbors are screaming, I mean at each other not with each other. I wouldn’t listen to that, obviously because ick. I also haven’t killed my boss yet and if you knew him, you would know what an effort of restraint that is. The man is enough to make a nun swear. ”

Felicity huffs thinking about it, oblivious to the man who has stopped trying to get away from her and is now looking at her in stunned confusion.

Taking a deep breath she at last comes to her point. “So just because I popped into existence doesn’t make me a demon or a harlot. Although I have no idea why you would even assume that those two things should go together.” She nods her head, and then quickly shakes it in the negative, because that sounded weird even in this strange situation.

The man just continues to stare at her when she stops shaking her head at the weirdness and with an unattractive snort he says, “You’re crazier than I am lady.”

“Excuse—“her quite possible cursing at the man gets interrupted by a sixth sense that she almost forgot always accompanied these little trips.

With one last glare at her alley companion she walks off toward the feeling. Felicity can’t really explain how this works but she knows from past experiences that if she follows where the pull is urging her to go she’ll find what she’s looking for. Like a built in personal tracker.

It’s a warehouse that the pull leads her to because of course it is, why can’t these adventures ever lead her just for once to a bright lighted room with lots of escape routes?

She doesn’t need to listen very hard for the snarled words to reach her ears even though it doesn’t matter because she can’t understand the words that are being raised in anger. 

Felicity isn’t sure but that sounds an awful a lot like Russian. 

“Am I in flipping Russia?!” She quietly exclaims to herself, and now that she thinks about it that judgmental alley man did have a distinct accent.

Well frack.

While she’s contemplating being in another country the double steel doors that lead into the warehouse creak open.

Double frack.

As stealthy as she can Felicity spins in the opposite direction to the back of the building, almost tripping on some weeds that have sprung out of the concrete. She makes it safely to the back of the warehouse and has just enough time to almost practically dive for coverage before four men in tailored suits step out of the doors.

Felicity heaves for breath and curses herself for not using that gym membership card that is collecting dust in her draw, she should know by now that her life is just this side enough of crazy to consist of running for her life at any given moment. 

There’s a sleek black car that pulls up on the pavement and one of the men step forward to open the door and stepping out of the car is an older gentleman with graying hair. He would look exactly like a friendly grandfather figure if it wasn’t for the scowl etched onto his face and the mean glint in his eyes.

“Он говорит ? “ The still scowling man says, while he buttons his coat.

Felicity has the distinct feeling that these men aren’t bankers if the guns peeking out of those suits are anything to go by. She knows that her trips often get her into trouble but this has the air of a code red alert. 

This is bad really bad and she needs to find the real trouble she knows is around here somewhere before she can leave. 

“Да и нет.” One of the goons reply to the question and the boss (she guesses that’s what he is with the way the other men look at him with a sense of respect) slashes his hand in the air in an impatient gesture.

“Не расплывчато, просто ответьте на гребаный вопрос.” The boss snarls out and his goons all flinch back at his commanding tone.

“Он ругался на нас много сэр.” One of them rush to say and the boss gets a sadistic smile that makes Felicity’s gut clench in fear.

“В страхе?” 

“Нет, он был удивлен , сэр.” One of his underlings answers his question while wringing his hands in a nervous gesture. Which is odd seeing as they’re supposed to be the hardened criminal types but she thinks anyone facing that man would be slightly twitchy.

That fear inducing smirk is wiped off of the bosses face as he takes a step towards the men who all tense at the approach. “Меня не волнует, какие методы вы используете. Если этот человек не проливать секреты Анатолия Князева , ваша кровь будет моя премия , а не.”

They all stand like that for a nerve wracking few seconds and then the older man spins on his heel and gets into his car. Felicity watches just like the other men do as the vehicle leaves and as soon as it disappears they dissolve into rapid fire Russian. 

She has more pressing concerns to deal with though as she glances at the window next to her where she can see into the building. She’s going to ignore the fact that she didn’t notice it the moment she ran back here because she’s in FLIPPEN RUSSIA. It’s even in all caps in her mind that’s how completely done she is with this situation.

Peering into the window now she spots exactly what she’s looking for or she should say who.

Trouble with a capital T, or O for Oliver but whatever, the point is she found him at last. Now she just needs to save his sorry ass so she can get out of this country with all the judgmental homeless men and Russian thugs.

She just needs a distraction big enough to lure the men away from the building, her eyes graze over the area searching for something, anything she needs to help get that giant he-man out of dodge. Her mind furiously thinks of all the scenarios and then abruptly stops and she blinks at the object she found.

She couldn’t or more accurately she really, really shouldn’t. But when she hears the thugs voices moving away towards the warehouse again, towards Oliver, she decides that the chance to save him definitely outweigh the consequences. 

“He was right, I am crazy.” She says out loud and silently adds an apology to the man in the alley for the insulting comment but not for the harlot remark, she’s still furious about that.

Felicity takes a huge breath, mentally preparing herself and then just decides screw it as she runs the length into the long dry grass towards the oil barrels. Why it was there, Felicity would never know, seems like poor planning on their part honestly. 

Someone could easily tip it over, which she does watching as the black liquid spills into the grass and onto her poor smiling panda flats and she barely restrains her grunt of displeasure at the sight. 

With that done she digs into her bag next and pulls out her emergency kit that she long ago learnt was necessary to keep on her at all times and with a triumph feeling she takes the matches and shoves the kit back into her bag.

Backing up, Felicity prays to the wifi goddess and quickly lights the match and then throws it, watching as it falls to the ground and immediately gets engulfed into the flames that have sprung to life. Running back to the place by the window she waits hoping that her plan isn’t as stupid as she thinks.

It’s not.

Barely a minuet goes by when the doors to the warehouse swing open again with all four men running to her neat little arson trick. 

She runs for it, going for the opening she finally has and enters the empty building, well not entirely empty. In the middle of the big dark space is a man handcuffed to a chair, his head is hanging down so only the shadows cling to his face. Her heart squeezes painfully in her chest as she spots some blood marking his cheekbones and more of it is slowly pooling to the ground staining his dark jeans and the floor below him.

“You cut your hair!” Is the first thing that pops out of her mouth because of course it is and he whips his head up at her voice. “I wasn’t going to say anything but you looked like a scruffy hobo and believe me; I know what I’m talking about.”

Oliver’s piercing blue eyes, the ones that’s she’s forever comparing anyone else’s too, stares into her soul and she feels that electric jolt go through her for the billionth time. She wonders if it’ll ever go away and she secretly hopes it never will. 

The intensity of his gaze goes away only because he lowers his eyes to the ground once again, as he slowly shakes his head as if ridding himself of cobwebs.

“You’re not real.” Oliver says gruffly in a defensive tone and she would roll her eyes at the predictability of his words if she wasn’t sighing in exasperation. 

“Now is not the time for our normal, ‘you’re not real, yes I am, no you’re not, growl, anger, anger’ conversations.” Felicity says, while hurrying to the back of his chair and to the handcuffs that hold him hostage. 

“Those charming new acquaintances of yours are a bit preoccupied at the moment but I don’t want to actually test our luck for more time.”She says, while reaching into her bag and finding the tools she needs, Felicity bends down preparing to get to work. 

She brushes up against his hands while trying to pick the lock and Oliver’s whole body jumps at the touch like his been electrified, by instinct she rears back trying not to cause him any pain.

“Oliver,” She whispers so softly, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know.” He snarls back at her and she flinches at his tone, knowing how his face matches his voice, all hard edges and flashing eyes. As if sensing her backing away he immediately relaxes his tense mussels and repeats himself in a gentler way. “I know.” 

Felicity gets back to work quickly sliding her pin into the lock and twisting until she find the right space and puts pressure on it. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” Oliver tells her quietly while the handcuffs slide off him and clang to the ground.

“You know the deal.” Felicity says, as she hurriedly walks to face him when he starts to stand. “You get yourself into to trouble and poof here I am. Kind of like your own personal genie, although you’d never wish yourself into trouble or actually no, you would. With the amount of times I’ve had to pop into existence to get your butt out of the frying pan. It’s like you’re a magnet for danger.”

“Felicity,” Oliver’s hand on her shoulder and the way he says her name like she’s his only real salvation, never fails to make her breath hitch. It also has the added bonus of stopping her when her rambles are quickly escalating; personally she thinks its Oliver’s very own superpower.

“How sweet, the little fire maker tried to help you escape.” The accented voice makes her jump in shock, while Oliver pulls her behind him shielding her from the two furious looking men. One of them starts forward with menace bleeding into his movements. 

“You should know,” Oliver starts in a low growl, making her ready to get away from the fisticuffs about to happen, because she knows that voice and the violence that follows, “that as soon as you try to touch her, you’re a dead man.”

His threat makes the thug hesitate for barley a second before he continues his stride. It’s over in barely a blink of an eye, the man’s body drops to the floor with a thud as Oliver stands over him. The handcuffs now grotesquely stuck in the man’s neck, and when exactly Oliver picked them up she doesn’t know. He’s a ninja like that.

“You’ve lost you’re only weapon.” The goon still standing says as he lifts the gun pointed at Oliver’s chest but he’s not fast enough to pull the trigger and then Oliver’s on him. She hears the cracking of bones and a painful cry as he twists the man’s wrist, the gun falling uselessly to the floor. He turns the man so he can get behind his knees and with a swift kick, the Russian falls to the ground with a grunt.

Oliver’s hands snake around the man’s neck and Felicity has to turn away as he whispers to the kneeling man, “I am the weapon.” 

The sound of his neck snapping and falling body almost makes her gag but she controls the urge until she looks up at Oliver and then she’s really regretting the donut she had for lunch.

He stands there ramrod straight with two dead men between them, but that’s not why her spine gets overrun with chills. It’s his gorgeous blue eyes, the ones she’s spent hours, hell years dreaming about. His eyes are always the first thing she checks when she needs to know what he’s really thinking, when everything else about him is cold, hard edges, his eyes are dark pools of stunning emotion. 

Now their dead and lifeless just staring through her like she was just as important as the chair in the huge room. In the endless moments after this one, Felicity will recognize this second and pinpoint it to exactly the place and time her heart started to break and bleed for him. And the reason for it is because she knows that with every version of Oliver that she has seen she’s never seen him as a man without hope. 

“Sorry to interrupt Oliver, but since these assholes have been taken care of we really should be going.” The man who just stepped into the room broke their gaze and Oliver glanced to him.

“I’ll be there in a second Nicolai, wait for me outside.” With the apparent order issued the new man didn’t even glance at her direction as he obeyed. Finding Oliver with a strange woman must not be that unusual, Felicity thought with a little more bitterness than the situation actually required. 

She should be questioning why he knows Oliver but she’s so used to coming into these situations not knowing the whys or how’s and it’s never been important. Her main focus is always to make sure he gets out alive. The questions only return when she’s home alone waiting for sleep to come. 

As Oliver turns to look at her once again, she stubbornly tries not to feel that thing. Like her heart is just begging to stay with him where it’s safe and warm, Oliver has always inspired those feelings in her. 

Some people might call that love and she would tell those people to kindly eff off while she enjoys the fluffy feeling. She’s made denial an art form by now.

“Felicity,” Oliver barely breathes her name in that special way of his and she feels that pull she’s so helpless to resist.

Oh.

That wasn’t Oliver’s doing or his soulfully tragic eyes, that pull meant it was time for her to scram.

“Oliver.” She says his name more forcefully than she would have liked and the way he flinches, God this man was going to break her. “You need to go home.”

He snaps to attention at her words, obviously not the verbal beat down he was expecting. Oliver opens his mouth presumably to say an idiotic monologue of self sacrifice and yada, yada but there isn’t enough time for this!

“No” She says meaning to use her forceful Loud Voice and Felicity can now see she has his attention. “No, Oliver. In case you haven’t noticed there is a distinct lack of forest and China around us. That means you can go home, to your family who needs you. To everyone that needs you.” 

To me, she really wants to say but doesn’t because even if she feels this connection towards him, Oliver’s never been the one to share his emotions or even if he has any for her.  


The pull is stronger than before, she only has seconds before she vanishes because Oliver is out of the dead zone and she’s never been able to stay with him after the storm breaks and she can’t do this again.

So Felicity begs with her eyes with her everything, pleads that he’ll give her his word, that he won’t leave her gut wrenchingly alone once more. But even before the words have left his mouth she knows two things; his not coming back and Felicity wants to beat his chest before he can utter them, she wants to rail at the unfairness of it, she just wants.  


“I can’t Felicity,” Oliver says and maybe the reason she can’t hear the pain in his words is because she doesn’t have the capacity to, with the crushing weight of her own. “I don’t belong there, not anymore. Not as the man I’ve become”

She was wrong, she was so unbelievably wrong she hears the pain and the self disgust and she wants to take it back. She wants to hold him and never let go because he needs to know that he isn’t this monster that he thinks and he’ll never be, no matter the horrors he’s had to do. Oliver will never be that man his convinced himself that he is. Felicity desperately needs to tell him that there won’t be another man like him, a hero.

Her hero.

“Oliver,” she chokes out his name and that’s it, that’s as far as she gets. She hears ringing in her ears and a roar of her name and then she’s dropped, landing on her knees onto scratchy carpet.

The second thing Felicity knows?

Oliver Queen is the love of her life, she’s hopelessly against all odds in love with him. And as she kneels on the motel room that only an hour or forever ago she was ripped from, Felicity also knows she just can’t do it again.

She doesn’t regret for a moment meeting him, being his Guardian. Oliver changed her life, he opened up her heart and for a while, for years, despite the accommodation and bad guys of the week. She lived for the moments when she would be ripped from her life and dumped into the woods, or sea water or China. 

But Oliver always wanted to try, always wanted to get home and that was the plan. Wasn’t that always the plan? 

Looking at her surroundings, the cheapest motel she could find on the outskirts of Starling City, Felicity knows that it was. Oliver didn’t know it, still doesn’t because he didn’t need the extra weight of thinking about her being on the lamb, but she had to try didn’t she?

Going to the Queen mansion may have been more than her nerves could handle but during that first year when Oliver was barely holding on she was willing to try anything and everything. 

Even if they suspected she might be crazy. 

How do you explain to a stranger, especially one as formidable as Moira Queen that her son was alive and well and stuck on a hellish island. 

Oh and Felicity obviously knows this information because an older woman had popped into her dorm room at M.I.T and told her that she was Oliver Queen’s guardian and come hell or high water she, Felicity Smoak was supposedly going to save his life multiple times. 

Yeah it went as about well as she thought it was going to.

After getting a restraining order against her, (and honestly wasn’t that a bit extreme? Even that lacrosse player in collage avoided getting he’s record sculled with that. He still had he’s name on the no fly list but that was another story) Felicity went with natural instinct and hacked into mostly everything.

But not even her skills that had helped her with so many things could help her with this and in desperation she had contacted the authorities, anonymously of course. When they still thought it was a hoax she went there herself.

That’s when the shit really hit the fan.

Detective Lance had been kind, the older man listening to her intently until she mentioned Oliver’s name. Then she was shuffled under old files, and when they found that she was the one hacking into their system she all of a sudden became the “bad guy” 

It wasn’t easy and then Oliver had been shipped to China of all places and then no one would believe her, not that they really had to begin with. 

She was a fugitive with little to no way of finding him not with the salary she was earning and sleeping in different motels every so often? Not fun, but Oliver was alive and that was the only thing she needed to keep her going to still try and save him.

But now?

How was she meant to help him when he didn’t even want to be saved, how many times could she go back there and see him almost bleed to death. How could she stand in a cold room where he had just been tortured knowing that this is now the life he had chosen?

Felicity will always be the girl to run head first into danger to pull Oliver out of it. But what price was she supposed to pay then? When the man she pulls from the fire looses himself in it, until there’s nothing left but the ashes that remain.

Life had taught her at an earlier age that you couldn’t keep someone from leaving; no matter how much you loved them. 

So maybe Oliver didn’t want to come back and Felicity didn’t want to go back, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to. It did not mean that she wasn’t going to fight like hell for that mans soul.

Because at the end of it all, after all the tragedy and heartbreak after watching him in pain and causing her grief; there never really was another choice to make, not for her.

Oliver Queen was the love of her life and one way or another she was going to bring him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you made it's this far! Thanks again lovies, you are amazing. If you would like to say hi over tumblr I'm there too. I go by 'Octoberwren' there as well.
> 
> The Russian bits:
> 
> Он говорит ? ---- is he talking?
> 
> Да и нет--- yes and no.
> 
> Не расплывчато, просто ответьте на гребаный вопрос.---- Do not be vague. Just answer the fucking question.
> 
> Он ругался на нас много сэр.----he swore at us a lot sir.
> 
> В страхе?---In fear?
> 
> Нет, он был удивлен , сэр. ---No. He was amused sir.
> 
> Меня не волнует, какие методы вы используете . Если этот человек не проливать секреты Анатолия Князева , ваша кровь будет моя премия , а не. --I don't care what methods you use. If that man doesn't spill Anatoly Knyazev's secrets, your blood will be my prize instead.


	2. And Felicity Knows, (Nothing lasts forever)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to those things, that we choose anyway.
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Dolls and Night time dwellers.
> 
> This chapter is a tad (okay A LOT) longer thank the last one. sorry I just couldn't stop
> 
> I am completely humbled by this experience and the amount of support you guys have given me. I didn't even think my odd little fic would be read, let alone the response I got for it. I did have an idea where I wanted to go with this 'verse so I decided to post the chapter because you guys are effing amazing.
> 
> Fair warning though, while I was writing this I realized i had a few emotions with Oliver... mostly anger. I'm still a bit peeved at the man for those last few episodes, so this one is a lot more angsty than I intended.
> 
> But fear not my loives, this epic couple will get a happy ending, because they both deserve it, it just might take this chapter to sort it out.
> 
> Happy reading Fellow Olicity Fandom and Much Love
> 
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

Finding Oliver was easier said than done, the man was a ghost. 

It had be five months since she had seen him. The only thing holding Felicity back from being a twitchy mess was that she knew he wasn’t somewhere scared and alone, bleeding out without anyone being there to protect him. 

That’s why they were even connected to begin with, it was her job to make sure he didn't die.

So either he had found a way not to get himself shot at or he was making damn sure he wasn’t in any kind of extreme danger that Felicity would have to come and bail him out of. 

The first option was highly unlikely Oliver was practically a magnet for all things doom and gloom, so the more likely choice was that the insufferable, stubborn man was avoiding her.

Felicity wondered what it said about her, that she hoped he found himself in trouble soon, just so she could yell at him, loudly, with lots and lots of aggravated gestures. 

Probably not anything good.

Only Oliver could make sure he didn’t get himself captured just to avoided talking about emotions.

On the list she was making called: Things to Yell at Oliver for:

There was also no sight of him, and she had checked, and then gone and double, triple checked. She had programmed her baby to ping her the moment he stopped acting like a vampire and chose to embrace the sunlight. 

But he must be holed up in a cave somewhere because she hasn’t seen even someone looking similar to him. So Felicity had gone through some stages. The first one being denial; why shun a favorite you know? 

He couldn’t actually be dead or avoiding her, he wouldn’t do that, he knew how worried she would be. And being his Guardian, she should know if he was being used for target practice, so no, something obviously must have happened. Maybe there was a lag with the Guardian mother ship and she couldn't get to him in time.

Did Guardians even have mother ships? Felicity wasn't sure and what if she did something wrong like falling in love with him, he was kind of her assignment. Was that a thing? That couldn't actually be a thing, right?

 

Yeah, she’s not so proud to say that she stayed in the denial stage for quite awhile, there was just so many questions and as a woman who mostly had the answers, she didn't have any for this.

She’s pretty sure there are supposed to be other stages after anger but if there is then she doesn't really much care, Felicity is firmly and comfortably stuck in the anger phase.

Yeah she’s pissed.

Even Sam, the bus boy who works at the little diner she now waitresses at, gives her a wide berth when he used to make all kinds of lewd comments, that she ignored or glared at him for. She feels at least proud of that, and it cements her thoughts that men are the devil incarnate. 

The bell of the diner, simply named Mike’s (there was no Mike and never had been) door rings to announces a customer and Felicity makes her way to the bulky man entering, grabbing a menu on her way.

She likes working for Mikes, even if it’s a little, okay a lot less of what she thought her dream job was going to be. But the thing that she reminds herself is that it’s anonymous, which was exactly what she was looking for when she got run out of Starling.

Her boss pays her in cash and tips and Felicity can just blend into the back round, it’s exactly what she needs. On the plus side, it’s near her new living arrangements, another motel that is placed near Starling City. She knows it’s dangerous to be living quite so close but every time she convinces herself to leave, she cant bring herself to pack her bag. 

A little voice she’s been secretly calling Oliver’s Cheerleader always pipes up to say she can never leave, because this was his home. She tells the voice repeatedly to go wave her pom poms to someone who gives a damn.

And maybe arguing with herself is a big neon sign that she really needs to get out more.

“Hi, what can I get you today?” She asks the man with arms like tree trunks, not that she’s looking but honestly how can you not. You could crack a nut with those. 

The man lets out a gruff sound. “Thank you.”

Felicity blinks behind her glasses, then blinks again. He lifts up his arm as if gesturing to something but Felicity is just not getting...Oh! 

She lets out a cough that is not a strangled noise and her cheeks go up in flames. “Well, you’re welcome. They are very intimidating, not, not that you’re intimidating. I just mean it seems you work out a lot....and that seems like a poor pick up line, but it’s not really, I mean not that I wouldn’t, you’re a very attractive man, but I’m not exactly available?” Felicity end her quite frankly word vomit, as a question.

She doesn't even know what the hell that was and neither does the man who just seems to be confused and a little amused. Yeah, not going to lie, Felicity gets that a lot.

“So, now that I’ve thoroughly made us both uncomfortable, how about I get you a coffee?” She says next, when in doubt just wing it is her motto. Well that and Pepper Mint Chip ice cream is always the best answer to every question.

“That would be great thanks, Megan.”The handsome man says, still looking amused at her antics.

She pauses briefly with the name but when he frowns at her slightly she puts on a winning smile and swings away to go get the coffee he ordered. 

That was the first time she had ever paused at her alias, but for a second talking with that man. It almost made her feel normal. Which was a terrifying thought all on it’s own.

Maybe that’s his charm though, making people feel comfortable enough to spill there deepest darkest secrets and then boom, he tackles you with those tree trunks.

Wow, Felicity pauses while pouring the hot liquid into his cup, she really needs to get out more often if the first thing she thinks of when meeting someone friendly is that he’s a spy. Talk about paranoid.

“So,” She starts to say, when putting the cup in front of him, “You leaving the city.?” 

It’s still quiet enough that her boss won’t glare her down for chatting to customers, besides she always likes asking them these questions about Starling, it makes her feel connect almost.

“Coming back actually,”There’s a sadness there in his eyes, it’s only flashes for a second before he shakes it off, grinning at her before continuing, “Thought I’d stop by and get a cup of coffee before heading back.”

What is with her and huge men that seem so obviously in pain that she want to squeeze the life out of them while force feeding them hot coco and cookies?

“Just coffee, nothing to eat? You look like you can put it away.” Felicity says, and then breathes out heavily shaking her head slightly at the way her brain loves to make even her well meaning words, sound like come ons. 

 

Luckily the man either didn’t notice or is saving her the embarrassment by just going on ahead, “No. No food for me, I have a burger joint in mind I need to stop at anyway.”

“Big Belly Burger?”She says immediately with no shame, because that it the best burger ever and she misses it so so much.

“Yeah,” He says, raising and eyebrow and seriously he reminds her so much of Oliver at that moment that her heart aches. “You know it?”

Felicity scoffs at that, thankfully giving her mind something else to think about. “Of course I know it, it’s the best burger out in Starling, possibly the world, although I’m just guessing here.”

“Hmm,” His eyes narrow almost slightly too fast for anyone who hasn't been around men who hide the barest flicker of emotion. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this and not out there travelling?” 

She was spot on before this man could pull a confession out of even the most locked lipped people, Felicity fidgets for a second and his eyes automatically go to her twitching fingers and she stops herself immediately.

She pulls herself together reminding herself that he is not a spy or apart of the mother ship here to demand she talk about her emotions on a blonde haired individual.

“Guess life had a different plan for me.” Felicity say eventually and leaves it at that, telling herself sternly not to blurt out all of her secrets. 

He makes another humming noise and is about to speak again when the bell chimes and she looks up to see a smiling couple walking hand-in- hand, going to her section of the diner.

Felicity looks at the man, smiling slightly, when she sees he was watching the door as well, “Well I guess I’ll leave you to your coffee then, just call if you decide that you would rather have a grease filled burger.”

“Thank you, Megan. I will.” He says, and she turns away from him to go to her other table.

When she takes down the, to be frank, nauseating couple’s order and looks up, the man is headed to the door and a couple bills are already on the table. Felicity can’t tell what comes over her at that second but she calls out to him just as he hand lands on the door handle.

“I didn't get your name, it would be a shame if I didn’t know that from the man that shares the same love of gourmet food.” She says to him, hoping it doesn't sound as creepy as she thinks it does.

“Diggle if you want,” The man-Diggle says with a smile, “but friends call me John.”

“Nice to me you John.” Felicity replies, she can feel the beginning of a real smile tug at her lips, as she watches him shoulder the door open.

“You too Megan, I’ll see you around.” John says and then he’s gone walking down the street away from the diner and Felicity shakes off the sense of the moment being something big.

When she goes to collect the money he left at the counter she notices that the tip is not a regulation 10%, in fact she can get a lot of Mint Chip out of that. With widening eyes she checks the bill to make sure her boss wasn’t stiffing up the prices to a crook level.

But no, the coffee’s price is still the same and out of habit she flips it over, a laugh escaping her when she sees the neat hand writing at the back.

“Megan,” It reads, “Just to make that planned life of yours easier and if that bus boy gives you any trouble, give me a call. John Diggle.” 

Below the words are digits and as she pockets the piece of paper, she happily takes back her earlier thought. Not all men are the devil, some can be the best human beings really.

Sam wolf whistles as she passes him by, trying to smack her ass with a dish towel.

And then there’s Sam, she thinks while grabbing the dish towel out of his hands and snapping it back and forward to hit him where it really hurts. 

This has been the best kind of day, Felicity muses while going back to the couple who have now started to grope each other and Sam’s whine of pain is the music to her ears.

 

*******

As Felicity steps out of the motel’s shower, that she cures every damn night for never being one temperature, she glances at her laptop. It’s a habit now, her eyes are never far from it when she gets home.

It’s her only connection to Oliver at this point and as time goes on she thinks it may be her only link to Oliver. 

She really doesn’t want to think like that, she doesn't want to give up the fight, and she definitely doesn't want to give up the hope on finding him.

But facts are facts, and comparing how many times she used to pop into his life on fairly regular basis to now when it’s been five months. .

Five months.

Felicity sighs warily and almost collapses onto her bed in exhaustion, these months have been tiring to say the least. She just wants to find him, but if he really doesn’t want to be found....

She hates feeling so useless, no matter what she does no matter how hard she tries, he just won’t give an inch. And hiding from her? It hurts, a lot more than she’s willing to admit. 

When she’s alone like she is now, his face, those striking eyes, they always haunt her. The blank look to them, she thought she could help, she thought that maybe if she was stubborn enough, if she fought harder, then maybe, just maybe he’d want to live for something.

Maybe she’s deluding herself, maybe the Universe or whatever the hell it was that decided she should be Oliver’s Guardian, maybe they got it wrong. Maybe they got the wrong girl. She was living out of back-pack working as a waitress with not much money, what the hell did she know about saving another person? 

How the hell was she supposed to save Oliver’s soul when she couldn’t even find him.

Felicity lets out a grunt in frustration that quickly turns to a started scream as she feels her stomach turn over, as if she just fell from a great height and then she’s dropped. 

Felicity bounces for a second as she tries to get her bearings, but she’s doesn’t have enough time to sort out the relived feeling and her running thought of: Finally, finally. 

When a door to her right opens and out steps Oliver,with steam following him out and into the room she’s in, in nothing but one towel draped over his hips and another one he’s using to dry his short hair.

There’s still water dripping down his god like body and her eyes can’t not trail it with her her eyes. She looks down, down, down, past all that hard muscle until she staring shameless at what she suspects is he’s best asset.

Lord have Mercy.

Did she somehow get granted all her wishes and if she wasn't Jewish she would think that Santa realized she was a really, really, good girl this year. 

Felicity is pretty sure she’s grinning a little manically because, At last, her and her brains way of making anything dirty are completely in agreement. 

Ha, the universe thought it was sooo hilarious, dropping her in the middle of the night, like a damn booty call. I wonder if they charge extra for that? Felicity thinks giddily. 1-800-we-drop-booty.

She must have made a sound akin to heavy breathing because Oliver finally notices that she’s there in nothing but a robe, in what looks like Oliver’s room, and Felicity is almost certainly lying on his bed. 

His blue (God why are they so blue?) eyes are nothing like the way she remembers, the way they were dead and lifeless. No, now she can read everything, just like before, before he learnt it was better not to show his powerful emotions. Better for him to lock away his big heart, so no one could damage it again. 

(If Oliver only knew, that if he had to give it to her, she’d protect it with every last breath she took.)

He’s looking at her now stunned almost, he’s doesn't even look like his drawing in air, like he’s afraid that if he takes a step, if he even moves that hand that’s still holding the towel to his hair, that Felicity will disappear just as quick as she appeared.

They really don’t have a good track record with that, so she can see why he would hesitate. He’s gaze fall to her bare legs that the robe hides barely anything of. Oliver’s darkening eyes leaves goosebumps where his gaze is now trailing over her legs, but it’s his stuttered gasp that he lets out, like he just can’t help himself, that really makes everything in her tingle in response. 

“Felicity.”Oliver says her name in the way she’s been craving for months and she doesn't care that she’s supposed to be mad at him, she doesn't care that he’s half naked. (okay no, she’s lying she’s cares very much about that one) 

She jumps off the bed and almost tackles him in a hug, he lets out a grunt at the force, but quickly regains his balance as he hesitantly wraps his big arms around her. And when one of the goes up to cup the back of her neck, his fingers brushing up against the skin, she tunnels herself deeper into his neck. 

She can smell the soap from the shower but that’s not what almost brings tears to her eyes, underneath all that soap is the scent of Oliver, that pureness of him that she always resonates with home. 

God she missed him. 

“Are you really here?” Oliver says in soft whisper, and his not releasing her, which is perfectly okay, she’s not planning on letting go in say, oh forever. 

“Oliver.” she huffs out in amusement, because really? “You need to stop being so surprised every time I appear. It’s been years. When you’re in trouble I...” They both lean back in the embrace, searching each others gazes as if only now remembering.

 

Oliver lets go of her as if she’s fire and his not looking at her any more, he’s looking at everything else now, all the exits and entrances. Searching for that one thing that’s different, out of place. 

It’s selfish, she knows it is, but with the cold now invading her bones and her arms circling her waist trying to capture some of Oliver’s warmth, Felicity has wished more times than she can count over the years that her name wouldn’t equate death to him.

Because that’s all she really is right? A reaper just waiting for the moment to claim his soul. One day she’s not going to be fast enough, or strong enough, or smart enough and then she’ll loose him. At the end of the day that’s what her presence means, she’s here because Oliver is close to death. 

The handle to the door moves and Oliver springs into motion, grabbing her wrist and pulling her until he stands between her and whatever is about to barge into the room.

They both tense when the door slides open. 

“Oliver,” a purring accented voice says, making Oliver relax his hold of her, but Felicity is tensing for a whole other reason now. “I thought I could interest you in drink before bed.”

“Alexandria.” Oliver says in a tone that’s not friendly, but it’s not unfriendly either, as the woman steps fully into the room.

Felicity almost, almost, roll her eyes. The woman is gorgeous, all tall, slim lines and flawless skin, her striking green eyes are narrowed in Felicity’s direction. She should be surprised, but she’s really not, Oliver could find woman who looked like they belonged on a swimsuit calendar if he was deserted on an island. 

And he did.

“I did not know you had company.” She says with a tightening of her lips, “Excuse me, I shall take my leave.”

 

“No.”Oliver says in return, releasing Felicity’s wrist as he swaggers, honestly rolls his hips, up to her. 

She would have gasped if her mouth wasn't busy hanging on the floor. One of his hands now slid over a shelf almost in an imitation of a caress, smiling in a charming way. 

If that doesn't have her feeling way, way off then the next thing he says throws her completely off guard . “Stay. I was just telling Felicity how I could use a drink.”

Felicity stands there kind of stupidly for a few seconds as she just watches the scene play out, Oliver  
holding out he’s hands for the two crystal glasses, heaven forbid they be red solo cups, Alexandria grinning like a predator up at him. (It didn't matter that Felicity was doing the same thing only a few minuets earlier, it was the principle of it.)The woman now takes out the bottle of Vodka and pours a generous amount in both glasses.

They clink their glasses together, say a toast in Russian and just as they almost take a sip of the clear liquid, Felicity lets out a strangled,“You have got to be kidding me.” 

They both stop and turn to look at her simultaneously, Alexandria with a cat like gleam in her eye and Oliver just looking like a brink wall.

It’s all very dramatic.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” The woman says with a haughty tone, sounding anything but sorry. “Did you want a glass?”

Before she can even get the words out to put her in the ground, Oliver tells the woman in a dry tone. “She doesn't drink.”

And that’s it, she remembers exactly why she was so pissed at him to begin with and she sees red. “Are you out of you’re mind?!”

Oliver cringes and the decibel her voice is reaching, while Alexandria rears back when Felicity all but stomps her way towards them.

“I don’t---what are you---”Felicity stops and takes a deep breath, she is so spitting mad at him. “I don’t know what brain you think you’re thinking with right now, but I can assure you it’s not that one.” She says while pointing to his head. “It’s that one, you’re man brain.” then she points to his crotch.

There is a few beats when no one says a word and their all just awkwardly looking at his package hidden by the low hanging towel. 

She puts her hand down that was still pointing (why was she still pointing) and the movement prompts Oliver to look at her with a raised eyebrow and ask, “Excuse me?” all nonchalant, like they weren't just on their way to the opening scene’s of a porno.

“The glass is poisoned Oliver.” She says finally getting to the point of his stupidity, I mean honestly if she had a nickel for every time---

“I know.” He tells her, while his hand goes to the the arm of Alexandria, his grip at tight as a vice.

“What?” But Felicity’s words as well as the woman’s indigent gasp gets overrun with the sounds of footsteps, then three men are entering the room at attention.

“В чем проблема , сэр?” The man in front says stoically.

Oliver shoves the woman forward only releasing his hold when on of the men replace it. “ Расскажите Анатолий я нашел его моль.” and whatever he said make the men look at Alexandria in disgust.

She didn’t even know he knew the other language but it makes sense, Oliver was exceptionally good at picking up different languages, especially if he had been around these people when they were fluent in it.

“No! I am not the mole. You’re making a mistake Oliver.” The woman is now screaming as she gets dragged away.

“I don’t think I am.” Oliver tells her in a harsh voice that raises the hair on Felicity’s arms.

“They will kill me, you don’t turn you’re back on the Bratva. They kill traitors Oliver.” Her screams get more intense as does her struggling and Felicity cant help pitting the woman, even if she just tried to kill Oliver.

“Then perhaps you deserve to die.” Oliver says tonelessly as the men drag her out the door, his words sound eerily like a executioner before he swings down the gauntlet.

It quiet now, the only sound is the ticking of a clock that must be in the room with them somewhere, until Oliver let’s out a sigh and his hand goes to drag down his face.

“You knew.” She says avoiding his gaze, it’s not what she really wants to say as Oliver lifts an eyebrow once more.

“Of course I did.” he says lightly shrugging as he grabs a pair of pants and walks to the bathroom closing the door slightly, only leaving a slither of space left so he can hear her.

 

“So you worked me.” Felicity says getting around to what she really wants to say, she just wished he was looking her in the eye, so he can see the betrayal mixed with hurt that she’s is sure shines bright in them.. 

“What?” His voice echo’s in in the bathroom and then he steps out wearing black slacks and a black button down shirt, he looks like every fantasy she ever had, he looks like an avenging angle.

Her heart squeezes painfully in her chest as a bitter smile tilts her lips. “You knew exactly how I would react, you knew Oliver and you used---”she stops abruptly because she almost spilled that little thing that they both were so cautious to step around. 

But then she thinks why the hell not, he had made it clear what it was worth and if he was determined to burn them to the ground why not give him the damn matches.

“You used my feelings for you to get exactly the response you needed.” She goes on recklessly as he watches on, his mask perfectly in place, not even a flicker of surprise at her words, it didn't even look like it registered with him and she is so tired of it. 

She’s so tired of being the one to fight for this, fight for him and she wants to push, she wants to break that mask and see if he actually feels anything any more or if the man she’s always compared others too, the one that will always be her equal, the man she loves with everything in her. If that man is just gone and this stranger, the one that would use her love for him as a plan of attack is the only thing left of her Oliver.

“You knew that I would say something erratic and be the distraction you needed until those men, the Bratva” she says that last word like a curse and she can almost see the flinch it causes him. “came to the door with your signal.” Her hand points to the shelf that earlier he had touched with a caress that now she knows probably has a panic button hidden somewhere.

“What do you want me to say Felicity, I used what I had available to me.” Oliver says and she can see his fingers rubbing together, a nervous tick he picked up with all that time he spent working with arrows.

“Me, Oliver” and Felicity absolutely hates the way her voice cracks at his name. “You used me.” 

Her words float around the room and it’s as if everything just stops,she can hear his breath hitch in his throat, she can feel her lungs contract at the sheer insanity of the situation. The world stops spinning as they both realize what he’s just done.

Oliver would never have...he would never...

“I would never what, what would you’re precious Oliver Queen never do?!” He finally explodes,his eyes wide and bleeding fury, there’s veins sticking out of his neck at the force of his control breaking. 

It’s everything she asked for and nothing she really wants. “You don’t know me Felicity, you don’t know the kind of person I am or what I’m capable of.”

She flinches back like she had just been slapped, his heavy breathing sounds like a gun shot in the otherwise quite room. And she’s helpless to stop this, she can see that their going to tare whatever future was possible for them apart.

“How dare you? I know who you are Oliver, I know the man that you are even if you don’t believe his still in there, I do!” and she knows it’s the truth, he’s inside there somewhere, it may be slowly dying embers but they are there, all he needs to do is breathe life to it and it will come back stronger than ever.

For a second she see the the hope in his eyes, and her soul reaches out to bring him back from the edge but then it’s gone, replaced with a locked jaw and his gaze as cold as the Atlantic.

“No. That man is gone Felicity.” and that’s not... he’s never said her name like that before, not even in the worse set of circumstances. Like she’s just...nothing and she can’t breathe because this can not be happening.

“If he even existed at all.” He continues and how can he even talk when she can barely draw a breath.“I think it’s best if you don’t come back.” He’s looking at her with determination, a muscle twitching in his jaw like he can will her to stay away with just the force of his stare.

She scoffs at him and this is wrong it’s so, so wrong. “That’s not how it works, Oliver. I’ve told you that.” She said the mantra a thousand times by now, but never like this, with a sense of resignation.

“Then I’ll be even more careful this time around.” He says with a nod to himself probably thinking that the matter is settled and really how can she argue with that?

“So you were avoiding me.” She says numbly, and if she didn't know better she would think the look he shoots her with is filled with shame.

But she does know better or at least she’s trying hard like hell too.

“I needed to keep you safe.” He says quietly as if he can’t help the words from tumbling out.

It’s maybe petty and it’s definitely the hurt his caused her over the past few months, and these past minuets that lead her to say, “Huh, you know at the right distance it almost sounds like you care.”

“What?” Oliver growls out, probably not expecting she has claws when it comes to him, and he’d be right, she never thought she would ever intentionally hurt him, but she never would have though he was capable of ripping her heart out either, so she guesses that makes them even.

“You think I don’t care about you?” he’s growl deepens as he strides to her too fast for her to back up, not that she would, even now, he cups her face with his big hands. His callous making her shiver against her will. 

“If the Bratva shoe fits.” She snaps out, not willing to give an inch even if her traitorous body is just begging to curl around his bigger one and purr in contentment.

His forehead comes to rest against her own and she closes her eyes at the heartbreak off it all,”For a genius you’re not all that smart Felicity.”

And she wants to rejoice and the fact that he’s at least admitting that they share something special, as she always thought and she would, if this didn't feel like more of a ending than a beginning to something beautiful. 

“Were always saying goodbye to each other.” She says against him and she never wants this to end she just wants to stay in this moment for as long as she lives. Where there both safe and together and nothing is trying to pull them apart, including each other.

But then she feels the tell tale pull and knows that nothing lasts forever.

“Then lets make this the last goodbye.” Oliver says and she can hear now the grit in his voice and she’s burning her head in his chest before she can stop herself, her hands tightening around him. If she holds him tight enough maybe when the pull starts he can come with her.

“Oliver, don’t do this.” Her voice is breaking but she barely pays attention, not when her world is shifting and crumbling beneath her.

“I need you to be safe.” His hands tighten around her just like hers does, like a part of him is still on the same wavelength as her, if they keep close, hold each other until the last second, he could be with her, the choice would be out of his hands. “I can’t...Felicity... I can’t loose you too.”

“Don’t I get a vote in this, this is my life remember, my choice.” she says angrily against his chest, even if she’s livid at his pigheadedness she not letting go, not until she has too.

“No.” He tells her. “It is your life Felicity, but the only way I’m going to survive this, is if I know you’re living and breathing. If I know you’re happy somewhere. Somewhere far away from me, because the only thing I’m capable of now is hurting you.”

If only he knew....and that’s when Felicity decided to woman up because on the slim chance that she could change his mind she was going to fight tooth and nail to make him see sense and.... if this was really the last time she was going to see him, she was going to make damn sure he knew that someone out there loved every bit of the person he is now. Even the dark parts he was so ashamed of.

“You make me happy Oliver,” She says strong and true and then she leans back to look at him, so he can see everything, everything that makes him so beautiful to her. “ You, just as you are, not some person you think I’m seeing or someone else entirely.” 

The pull was getting stronger, so she stared hard into his stunned eyes, trying to make him believe these next words and then she took a giant leap of faith.

“I love you Oliver Queen,” Felicity smiled as brightly as she could while the tears shinned in her eyes, “I love every version of you, the past you, who got on that boat for all the wrong reasons and survived because he was strong enough, despite the evils of this world trying to tell him differently. I love the present you who will do whatever it takes to protect the one’s he cares about, even at the cost of his own soul. And I’ll love the future you, whoever that may be, but I think I can guess what you’ll become”

“What?” Oliver asked in an awed voice looking at her as if she had all the answers, as if she held a crystal ball, so whatever came out of her mouth next had to be true, because she believed it was.

As opposed to all the other questions that still plagued her, this one was super easy, she didn’t even have to think about it, so Felicity held his wrist that was tenderly brushing away her tears that she hadn't even noticed was falling. 

Hiccuping a laugh she told him what Felicity always knew to be true but never got the chance to say, “A hero, Oliver. The man you are, the man you will always be, is a hero. Obviously.”

That, that was the look she always dreamed of getting from him but never thought she’d ever receive, Oliver looked at her like she was the single thing holding him to this universe, that she was every beauty, every perfection there ever was and ever will be.

Oliver looked at Felicity like she always looked at him, or maybe she just wasn't paying close enough attention, because the look in those eyes, the ones her mind seems to wax poetically about, they were gazing at her like she was the love of his life. That there would never be another quite like her before or after. This was it, she was it and his life would never be the same again. 

Just a whisper of her name said like a prayer was all the warning she had, before he kissed the breath out of her, and Felicity had dreamed of this too many times that she worried her fantasy would always overshadow reality.

For once in her life she was delighted to be wrong, Oliver kissed her was such tenderness, his soft lip's softly caressing her own, his hands cradling her face so she wouldn't leave.

Like that was ever going to happen, she thought while sliding her arms around his neck and going on her tip toes to deepen the kiss and she just knew that she unleashed the passion she could feel him holding back.

With a groan he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him and when she let out a moan at the shear desire this man created in her, his answer was to slid his tongue over her lips, in what she thought was permission, like he needed it. But she granted it anyway, opening up so he could lick his way into her mouth. 

She shivered at the sensation of pure bliss and she curled her fingers at the nape of his neck, scratching the fine hairs she found there. It was Oliver’s turn to shiver and she felt so humbled with the idea that she could bring such a man as controlled as him to loose his restraint in her arms.

Those big hands that where capable of such destruction and violence handled her with such care as he moved them along her spine and held her tightly against him. 

She was so lost in him, lost to this, that it took her a while to feel that tug, the one that always made her nauseated with the thought of leaving again, but when she eventually did feel it this time she made peace with it because at least this time there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Oliver was her light and he forever would be, at least this time her light would be coming home where it belonged.

“Oliver,” she said pulling free from those delectable lips regretfully, “Oliver.” she repeated when he followed her lips with his own, not willing to give them up just yet it seemed.

She was about to just give in when the pull tugged sharply and then there was a banging on the door.

Oliver turned his head sharply to the noise and when he turned to look back her gone was the man from only seconds before. 

Oh God no, not again.

“If there was another way Felicity if I had another choice...” He looked broken and by the way he was searching her she probably looked just as distraught.

“You do!” she yelled beyond her limits, “ There’s always another way, you can come home. Just come home Oliver.”

He reached out to her then with an arm, and she never thought she would, never thought that Oliver would ever giver her the reason to but he did, so she took a step back.

“Please, Felicity. Don’t ask me to come with you.” He asked her or rather he pleaded with her as he dropped his hand, flexing it as if it was missing something vital.

Felicity did now what she had to, this wasn't about sparing feelings any more, they had gone far past that, this was about scarping up the last of her self worth and dignity. 

The fight had gone out of her and in it’s place was pride, she had lost the war a long time ago, she just hadn’t been able to accept it. 

Acceptance, wasn't that the last stage, the thought popped into her head with little humor.

“I’m not going to ask you Oliver, not again,” Felicity said, tone firm back straight to his widening eyes and crumbling form. “You made your choice.”

The door bust open then, “ Captain, there’s a situation” the man said turning to look at her, with widening eyes and she would have laughed in any other situation but this one.

She didn't remover her gaze from Oliver because she knew that the look of him would forever be seared into her memory, because this was it wasn't it; the end?

If she could have asked for anything it would to have that memory of him holding her in he’s arms instead of this one. 

If five months ago she figured out when Oliver Queen broke her heart, then the look on his face now, he found the moment when she broke his.

The ringing came but she didn't notice ,didn't care really, as she and Oliver looked at each other across the room, across time. Both knowing this choice would be the defining one to there not so relationship, instead of all the other beautifully, amazing one’s in-between.

And then she drops.

Her feet land soundless against the carpet and she won’t fall and won’t crumble. The slight mechanic noise draws her sight and she just blinks owlishly at her baby. Then with feet like lead, she stops in front of it and one by one stops the searches for Oliver. Then she powers the whole thing off and softly closes the lid.

She crawls onto her sheets and promises herself that no matter what happens next, tonight will be the last night she cries herself to sleep over Oliver Queen.

Felicity seriously dislikes Russia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it!!!! Yay!
> 
> I hope I didn't disappointing you too much, remember this is not the end so there will be more humor (and angst, sorry but not really. I love it.) 
> 
> You can come say hi to me over tumblr I'm octoberwren there as well.
> 
> The Russian bits: (Yeah google translate...)  
> What is the problem sir? ----В чем проблема , сэр?
> 
> Расскажите Анатолий я нашел его моль.------Tell Anatoly I found his mole.


	3. Home Is where the Heart is.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All the best love stories have one thing in common, you have to go against the odds to get there"
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Dolls!!!
> 
> So I'm not exactly sure I'm happy with this Chapter, but I suppose it may just be my insecurities kicking in. It's possible I'm also a tad neurotic, so there's that.
> 
> I love this fandom and ship so much and the support as been so life changing for me, you guys really know how to make a girl feel welcome. So I want to say thank you for all you've done (again, i'm not stopping, you NEED to know this), you are awesome people and I adore you all.
> 
> There will probably only be one or two more chapters to this story, but don't fret if you do like my writing, and I sometimes wonder why, I will be writing more on our favorite ship in no time.
> 
> (As always: I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)
> 
> P.s. I'm also on Tumblr if you feel like coming over to say hi, I go by 'Octoberwren' there as well.
> 
> Much love, beautiful people.

Things were just peachy until she stepped into that damnable coffee shop, and wasn't that just the start on the crosses that was going into a new book called The List. 

Because ruining her sanctuary around that nectar from the gods? Not. Okay.

She had been living her life quite fabulously from her time after the “incident,’ as she commonly referred to, that night in Russia..She only saw Oliver once after that, and hadn't that been just a night filled with joy and sunshine.

When she had popped, teleported, whatever, to where the powers that be had wanted her, the whole world was burning.

Or house, but from where she stood, it could have been the world. 

The mansion she found herself in on that fateful day was a towering inferno, and she could barely see teen feet in front of her, as the smoke filled her vision, and it was so thick her lungs burnt like acid with every wheezing breath she took.

Felicity could still recall the absolute fear that griped her when she called out Oliver’s name and no one answered, the house completely quiet except for the roaring of the flames. 

She followed the tug that thankfully always led her straight to him and when she did find him he had lost consciousness and was pinned underneath a bookcase. 

Logically she knows her heart didn't really stop at the sight, but that’s what it felt like seeing him in such a position, Felicity knew he would hate.

She pulled and pushed at that bookcase as hard as she could and somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that if she couldn't get them out to fresh breathable air in time she was going to blackout. 

Then they’d both be dead, turned to ashes in that room, a tragic ending to a story she wasn't quite ready to give up on. 

When the bookcase shifted and creaked she figured either all those stories about people getting super human strength in dire circumstance bust be true, that or she was developing another super power to add to her resume.

The more rational choice was that someone was helping her, on the other side of Oliver a man covered in soot stood gripping the bookcase.

“Friend or foe?”Felicity asked the question around a cough and he stood there for a second, probably trying to guess the same of her.

“This man saved my life, it is time I returned the favor.” He said with such determination and Felicity had never met him on any of her trips into Oliver’s world, but that didn't mean he was lying, it didn't mean he was telling the truth either though.

“Fine, but if this is a trap and you plan on shooting us, I’m going to be really pissed.” She said to him in a wheezing whine while preparing to lift the stupid bookcase again. 

With the man’s help they quickly got it off of him in a matter of seconds,then they both took an arm of Oliver’s and dragged him out of the house. She went were the man was leading her, it seemed like he knew the layout of this place. Good thing because Felicity would be as lost as a rat in a burning maze.

The fire was building it’s momentum as it engulfed the house like a hungry beast eating it’s way through everything. When they finally reached a door that wasn't burning she almost wanted to laugh in joy, but she kinda needed the extra oxygen she was sure she was loosing.

When they made it outside, the grass was wet under her bare feet and the stars shined bright in the night sky, Oliver getting himself into trouble when she had just put on her robe after a shower, was becoming a habit. One she truly hoped he broke soon.

They both laid him down on the grass and Felicity quickly went to her knees resting her head on his chest to feel if he was breathing. When she didn’t feel any movement she shoved the panic that was rising to choke her away and concentrated on putting her shaking fingers on his pulse point.

A second past, then two, then three, and the panic she had shoved away was slowly creeping up on her threatening to take away the breath she only just caught and turn the blood pumping her veins into ice.

Then she felt it, a thump against her finger and she almost cried at the relief of it.

“He’s alive?” The man she had completely forgotten about asked, and she turned to look at him but stayed on her knees with her fingers still pressed to Oliver’s skin, not willing to remove them quite yet.

“He’s breathing.” Felicity said the words, the relief evident to her own ears, “And you need to make sure he stays that way. What’s your name?”

He hesitated briefly before proudly straightening his spine as he told her, “Anatoly Knyazev.” 

She was pretty sure she heard that name a few times over her trips into Russia, “Okay Anatoly, I need you to listen to me carefully.” She paused to make sure he was, the went on. “In a few seconds things are going to get weird, I mean really weird, like Sci-Fi weird.”

When Anatoly’s eyebrows rose with a familiar look of 'stranger danger' covering his face she rushed on, because she didn't have a lot of time left, she could feel the pull and Oliver was still unconscious, “Look I’m sure you’re a nice man but the fact is I don’t know you, but you did help save his life so I’m willing to give you the benefit of doubt. In a few seconds I’m going to disappear and when I do, I need to know your going to look after him, because I can’t. And if you don’t and something happens to him, I’ll find out every dirty secret you have and make you wish you’re path never crossed mine or Oliver’s.” 

She looked dead into the man’s eyes but when he did nothing but smile at her she frowned at him, it almost looked like...”You’re not surprised.”

“You are a strange little one, but you have spirit, I can see why Oliver is so besotted with you.” Anatoly said with a huge grin and Felicity refused to blush in that moment but didn't think she was successful with the way she could feel her cheeks burning.

“So you’ll look after him?” That was the only question she knew to ask instead of the landmine of question she wanted to avoid.

Anatoly bowed a little respectful at her while a groan made her jump and look at Oliver as his eyes fluttered open.

“Felicity.” He breathed out in that way that never got old no matter how many times she heard it.

“It’s okay,” She whispered slowly to him while stroking his short hair, “You’re safe.”

Oliver blinked a little dazedly at her, his chest shuttering as he took in a breath, shaking his head, he said in a raspy voice, “You shouldn’t be here, you don’t belong here.” His mouth tilted into a frown, as his eyelids drooped.

“I’ll be leaving soon, don’t worry.” Felicity told him while she swallowed down the hurt, but Oliver didn’t appear to have the same problem.

His eyes closed and she would have thought he slipped back into sleep but she heard the words he whispered out into the night air, “Good, you need to stay away from me.”

A few seconds later she appeared back into her motel room and that was the last time she had seen Oliver, with those words still ringing in her ears.

So yes that was a bit of a downer, but Felicity wasn't one to wallow in all the ways her life had taken a turn into crap-ville.

No, instead Felicity decided she would make some changes, starting with finding a new job because if she didn't leave the diner soon she was going to smother Sam in a loaf of bread, and then get arrested which totally defies the whole point of her working there in the first place. 

So she quit and has now been working at a electronics store for a few months, it wasn't a chain store so she felt comfortable enough to stay. That and she had worked her babies and cellphone to ping her the second her name was used in the police database, so at least she had a head start if they found her.

The other bright spot in her post ‘Oliver-man-pain-Queen’ was her friendship with John Diggle.

Over the months he had become like an older brother to her, he was actually one of the reasons she was inclined to leave her job.

It was either that or watch as John showed up every Tuesday to glare at Sam, she was pretty sure if she didn't leave when she did, the big man was going to make sure Sam didn't have a jaw to flap his remarks to her with. 

Really, quitting was the best for everyone all around.

She also got a reasonably priced apartment, that had a shower that actually worked, and if she was a little anxious being in Starling once again, she reminded herself that the cops hardly came into The Glades any more and she had a go bag ready to well...go.

Another little blimp in her new post life was the guilt that kept her awake a few nights to many when she thought about the fact that John still didn't know her real name.

If she let that lie out, then she’d have to tell him about the cops and her insane ability to just transport randomly to wherever Oliver Queen was. 

Selfish as it was, she really didn't want to see his eyes cloud over with distrust and suspicion. Because a normal person couldn't accept what she did, unless they saw it first hand, and even then it was a lot to take in.

Felicity highly doubted John would ever see her Houdini act first hand, it had been months since she had seen Oliver, so she knew he was doing everything in his power to keep her away. She didn't even know if he was still in Russia or had left to somewhere else. 

Which was totally fine. 

Honestly.

She had a new life now, one with Wednesday coffee dates with John, a new apartment, a new job that let her work on computers and she was even thinking of getting a cat. (But maybe not, she wasn't sure she was ready for that cliché to be true just yet)

And maybe even saying yes to the man working at the coffee shop she liked to frequent, who had asked her out. She just blinked a lot when he had asked her while he smiled and handed her, her coffee to go.

His name was either Kyle or Kevin, she had been so flustered that she only took a second to glance at his name tag before she shot out of there like a bat out of hell.

Felicity walked now to the same coffee shop, it being Wednesday and all she was meeting John, it would have been Big Belly Burger but since this was closer to where she worked, John came there instead. 

She ignored him when he always followed her home afterwards, leaving him to assume she had never seen him tailing her, he always got angsty when she traveled to her apartment, no matter how many times she had told him she carried pepper spray for a reason. 

John would just raise that damn expressive eyebrow of his at her answer, cross those big arms and stare her down. It was an on going issue, they were both stubborn like that.

She had walked into that coffee shop not knowing that all her 'plans' where going to go flying out the window.

It was normal, John sat in a booth at the back, entrance clear in his sight, his military training was still with him and he needed to keep those instincts sharp with him being a bodyguard.

Felicity hoped those millionaires knew what a gem that had got when they hired him, but probably not, he had told her some horror stories.

“Hey, I got your usual.” John said in amusement as she plonked herself down into the booth and practically inhaled the sweetest coffee she had ever tasted.

It had been a long day, okay?

“So how’s life, and Carly. I want you to answer the second one first, then the life one after.” Felicity smirked behind her coffee cup, as if John could see the movement he narrowed his eyes, but she just blinked at him innocently.

“I’ll answer that, when you tell me what’s up with Clyde giving you eyes.” John smirked right back at her not even trying to hide it.

“His name’s Clyde?” Felicity asked surprised as she peered behind John to look at the man in question who was staring right at her, she quickly glanced away.

Not that he wasn't good looking, he was, but his hair was a bit to dark and he had a smile in place, where there should be a frown.

Felicity resisted the urge to roll her eyes heavenwards, how did her type of men change from adorably cute to intense eyes and growly attitude? 

Well she knew how, but she wasn't thinking about that now. Or him.

Nope, not today. Today was happy coffee time.

“Megan?” John snapped her out of her wayward thoughts and back into reality.

“Sorry,” She said shaking her head a little, “I zoned out for a second.”

“Thinking about Clyde?” He asked, with what he thought was a knowing smirk...If only he knew.

“Is this girl talk, cause I feel like there should at least be some alcohol and face masks for it, maybe some cucumbers.” Felicity watched the amusement flicker in John’s eyes.

“Sorry, I don’t think I have the right parts for that.” He deadpanned and Felicity laughed into her mug,

The atmosphere in the coffee shop changed dramatically, where it had been quiet with a few voices reaching her ears, it now had a buzz of excitement, some customers where gesturing with there hands, and others were pulling out there phones and typing furiously. 

Felicity’s tablet was pinging like crazy so she grabbed it out of her bag without hesitation wanting to see what the hell was going on. 

“Now that’s something you don’t see everyday.” John muttered but she wasn't even paying attention to his words, Felicity couldn't pay attention to anything except the pages and pages she was sorting furiously through.

She kept reading and reading trying to believe what she was seeing or if she had transported into bizzaro world. She just stopped in shock, the news hitting her like a sledgehammer, her heart trying to shoves it way out of her chest. 

Five years ago she knew Oliver Queen didn’t die on that boat and now it looked like the whole world knew it too.

Felicity also realized she had been deluding herself, no matter how happy she was about her new life, it would never have been complete without him it in.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The first day when the news hit she buried herself underneath the covers, and then she expressed herself with eating a lot of Pepper Mint Chip, but she would rather gloss right over that.

He was back, Oliver was back in Starling and she was overwhelmed.

On the one hand she was so happy he came back, not only for him but for his family, she couldn’t even imagine how they must feel. How ecstatic they probably were to have him home safe and sound. 

It’s all Felicity ever wanted for him, to be happy.

And not to be a Debbie downer but on the other hand, why come back now? He could have returned any time he wanted over the past year or so, why did he choose to come back this time. What had changed?

All these questions raced through her head and she tried to sort all of them out, but there was one that was so silent she barely heard it, but as time wore on and on it became louder and louder.

Would he look for her? 

But she dismissed it immediately, Oliver didn’t even know she lived in Starling, plus she was living underneath a different name and staying in The Glades, which it was highly unlikely to see him strolling through.

Oliver was a smart man, but even he couldn't find what wasn't there.

And if she had any more reasons, she just needed to remind herself that at every available opportunity Oliver, had stated quite clearly that life with her wasn't an option, so no, she highly doubted he would search her out.

She didn't know whether to feel relief or crushing disappointment.

The groan she let out into her pillow was just tragic really, she was going to have to stock up on a lot of ice cream, that was for damn sure.

The next day she woke up exhausted having one of the worst sleeps, which was saying a lot, she was going to have to practically feed an I.V drip of caffeine into her blood stream to survive the day. 

When she had showered and dressed she had a new outlook or at least the running thought of, “Don’t think about Oliver, don’t think about Oliver, don’t, don't, don't”

It was working surprisingly well, she kept her mind busy at work, fixing all the computers that came through, tinkering with projects that she had put aside before for more important work, all in all it wasn’t a bad day. Even if she heard his name on the staffs and customers lips, she shut that out and decided that today she really should go to the basement and fix some of those parts as well.

When afternoon hit she was knee deep in spare parts that her phone went unanswered until the noise eventually invaded her fog.

“Hello?” Felicity said into the speaker, not checking the I.d first.

“Hey, I just wanted to check on you, you ran out of the shop pretty quick yesterday.” John said over the line and Felicity smiled just thinking of him. He really was the best kind of person.

“Oh I’m fine, sorry about that, the place was a little...loud.” She trailed off knowing that excuse was a stupid one but John didn't call her on it, he was good like that. Knowing when to push and when to back off.

“Okay well, I just wanted to make sure you were fine, and also if we could rain check Big Belly Burger tonight.” The sound of traffic came over his side and she guessed he was probably driving somewhere talking to her on the headset.

“Oh? Got a hot date I should know about and if that was unclear, I was talking about you and Carly, sitting in a tree.” Felicity say in a sing-song voice, putting the phone between her ear and shoulder blade while she started working on a mother-bored. Multitasking like a pro.

“Yeah.” John scoffed at her over the line, she sees him in her mind clearly, rolling his eyes, “Oliver Queen is exactly my type.”

The phone slipped out from her shoulder as did the mother-bored but that landed right on her foot and she let out gasp of pain, and hobbled around trying to relive the pressure. 

She could hear John’s frantic shout’s over the speaker and she hopped to pick up her phone praying she didn't damage one of her babies too bad.

“It’s alight.” She said breathlessly once she checked the phone and was happy to see no permanent damage. “I’m alight, just clumsy as usual.”

“You sure?” He asked in worry.

“Yep, no permanent damage. You were saying something about Oliver Queen?” Felicity made sure her tone came out as inquisitive but not outright nosy. 

John would spot it a mile away and grill her until she caved, and she would, she knew if he had to ask her outright she wouldn't be able to lie straight to his face.

“Yeah, got a call from Moira Queen, apparently her son and Tommy Merlyn were attacked earlier, as if the guy hasn't been through enough.” John said it like he was shaking his head in disgust at the people in this world, but her thought process had got stuck. 

“Attacked?! Is he okay. Did they hurt him? Was it a ‘they’ or was it one person?” she knew she was starting to sound a little on the intense side, and it was not the appropriate response from hearing a stranger that she was supposed to know next to nothing about, but she couldn't stop herself, “I mean purely from a human to human stand point, is he okay?”

That wasn't much better, and logically she knew Oliver should be fine, or she would have been right there when he got attacked but her emotions didn't give a hoot when it came to him.

John was silent on the other line, probably putting this incident into the file marked ‘weird things Megan does that make no sense’

“He’s fine, they both are. Probably shaken up I’d imagine, but they weren't hurt, the cops are looking into it.” John finally told her after a pause.“Listen I’m almost there, so I’ll call you a bit later.”

Probably to check if all her marbles were still in place.

“Alright John, be safe.”

“Always am.” All she heard next was the click of the phone call ending, and she rubbed her fingers underneath her glasses and let out a tired sigh.

This was just perfect, John working for Oliver was something she never expected to happen. Of all the damn coincidences....

And what about the attack, did he bring trouble home with him or was this something else?

When she got home that night, the first thing she did was hack into the police, she had to know if they had any leads on the men that attacked him and Tommy Merlyn.

But they didn't have anything yet besides inconclusive evidence. 

Well she would just keep her eye on it all the same, she didn't even question her need to know, call it curiosity or what you will. Maybe she spent so long dragging Oliver out of the frying pan that it was second nature to her by now. 

Felicity grabbed some clothes and headed to the shower when movement caught her eye. She looked out at the window that showed some of the run down buildings in The Glades.

No...that was insane and she cornered the market on crazy things in general but she could have sworn....

Nope, she was just exhausted that had to be it, because there was no actual way a man stood on top of that building just a few seconds ago. 

Felicity ignored the niggling voice in the back of her head, all the way through the shower and once she fell into bed, she absolutely did not think that the only reason she was able to fall asleep right away, was because it felt like she had someone watching out for her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“Subtle Oliver, real flipping subtle.” The police were in a frenzy as a hooded figure was apparently threatening Adam Hunt, with arrows.

Unless Robin Hood was in town the only green hooded man who could shoot pointy things was Oliver Queen and of course this was the reason he was back, to become a vigilante, why else?. 

She had half a mind to go to the Queen mansion and yell a lot and definitely poke those muscles he was using to fight crime instead of the giant muscle in his head.

But no, Oliver’s business was none of hers, not any more, he had made his choice and so had she.

That was until his business was rudely thrust into her face with a phone call. 

Inappropriate, brain, really inappropriate.

When her phone rang she didn’t really think when she answered it she would hear the last person on earth on the other end of the line.

“Miss Smoak are you still there?” Moira Queen asked in a smooth voice while Felicity picked her jaw from the floor.

“Yes, sorry, yes I’m here. Just processing why the woman who gave me a restraining order and sent the cops after me would be calling. Actually how did you get my number?” Felicity asked the woman while still trying to actually believe this conversation was taking place.

“Yes, well. I’m sure you have seen that my son has returned home to us.” The formidable woman went on not answering the question Felicity actually wanted to know.

“It’s been kind of hard to miss.” She mumbled out.

“Yes It has been quite a media frenzy. So in the matter of your restraining order, I would like you to know that I have dealt with it personally.” She went on as if it wasn't her that actually filed the report but an error that just happened, “I would also like to personally invite you to dinner.”

“No.” Felicity cut in before Moira Queen even finished her sentence, “No, I’m sorry but that won’t be happening. Ever.”

“I understand, of course.” She continued not even slightly ruffled at Felicity’s forceful denial of the request. “And please know that Q.C would gladly have a position open for you, should you find yourself in need of a job specific to your expertise.” 

“I--” Felicity shook her head at the, bribe, lets be honest here, “I’m afraid I’ll have to decline that offer as well Mrs. Queen.”

“Miss Smoak.” The woman said, her voice soft, the armor dropping for a second, “I should have listened to you in the beginning, if I had, my son would have been home a lot sooner than fiver years.”

Felicity didn't know what to say to those honest words coming from the woman who chased her out of town and made her life and by extension, Oliver’s, a lot harder than it needed to be. So she just kept quiet.

“Well,” Moira cleared her throat the steel now back in her voice, “The offer of dinner and a job will always be there should you choose to accept it.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Felicity said and then hung up, after the surreal conversation she had to let out a laugh at the thought of Oliver walking in on Felicity and his mother having coffee in his house.

As she walked to her computer, she thought back to the conversation and with all the words Moira Queen had said, none of them were an apology.

Adam Hunt was a bad man as she discovered looking into him, the case against him was all over the news and so was the lawyer pitted against him.

Gorgeous Laurel.

That was not jealously tightening her stomach, even when she thought about that picture Oliver used to keep so close to him that first year, barely letting it out of his sight.

Okay, so maybe it was jealousy, she was only human after all.

It might even explain why Adam Hunt was Oliver’s first choice, if he had seen Laurel then he would have found out about the case she had been working on, and decided that the man needed to have the fear of God put in him.

The next night she watched as he’s accounts drained and knew Oliver had succeed in his quest. 

She knew this wasn’t just a one time thing when he went after Martin Somers next,(also a man, Laurel was going after, but Felicity wasn't thinking about that. Obviously.)

“Oh great, we’re going after The Triad now.” She said to the computer in front of her, and then shut it off.

Because this was ridiculous, she spent the whole day watching his court appearance to declare himself un-dead and then followed his night time activities and she thought she was going to stay out of his damn business. 

Maybe Moira Queen was too hasty removing that restraining order because she felt like a stalker.

What she needed was wine.

Grabbing her bag she left her apartment and walked into the cool night air, the bar wasn't to far from her house so she walked.

She realized a few minuets afterwards what a huge mistake that was and cursed her life choices.

“Hey baby, wanna party?” A slurred voice came from the ally from her right as she crossed it.

“Who says that?” she said to herself before yelping, (oh man she was a yelper) as she was dragged into the alley and shoved hard into the wall. 

Her head practically bounced off the wall leaving her vision blurry and knees almost buckling underneath her. Before she could even think of a way out of this, her attacker screamed into her ear and jumped away from her. 

Her knees did buckle then as she collapsed to the floor and held her head feeling the bitch of a headache coming on.

People were the worst.

“Are you alight, Miss?” Hands were now overlapping hers as her head was tilted up to look at what she assumed was the vigilante, going from all the green he was sporting. 

Or Oliver if you want to get really specific. A groan left her throat.

“Miss?” He asked his tone laced with panic, as he turned her head this way and that, rubbing her cheeks with his gloved hands, trying to find a injury she figured.

Was he serious? Like seriously, serious?

Her head was throbbing, she was sure there would be bruises on her knees and he wanted to pretend that she didn’t know that hood, or the man behind it?

Oliver was out of his mind.

“Fan-flipping-tastic.” She ground out against the pain and annoyance he was evoking in her.

She got up so at least she would be on even foot when she tore him a new one, Oliver cupped her elbow gently and helped her to stand, and the very action cleared her spinning thoughts, and calmed her anger.

Oliver was here, standing in front of her when he had been out of her sight for so, so long. He was finally home. 

Felicity didn’t know what it was about him, that made her want to forgive even the slightest thing. But she supposed that’s what love was, seeing someone as your perfect match, thinking their beautiful. Not ignoring Oliver's flaws but loving him despite of them. 

But when she took a step forward maybe as instinct, just to get closer, he moved away from her, into the darkness. The shadows clung to him like a second skin, like it was much apart of him than any other limb. And Felicity couldn't help but think about the last time they were standing face to face. She got a kiss she always dreamed of and heartbreak she never wanted.

And now this was how he chose to face her again, as a stranger. If that didn't sum up the whole messed up situation she didn't know what would.

“How did you find me?” She asked tautly, ignoring the ache in her chest that was apart of her by now, Felicity had a suspicion her and Oliver were playing the same stalking game.

“I was in the neighborhood and heard you shout out. How’s your head?” He said gruffly trying to hide his voice, he should have known better though, she knew him. She would always recognize his voice, even if it was in a sea of millions.

She tipped her head to the side trying to show him the amount of bullshit she was reading into his answer.

“Your head, Miss.” Oliver repeated again not even hinting to her look, like water off a ducks back.

“I’ll survive.” she said while they just stared at each other, he nodded in acceptance, but a his jaw clenched and she knew he wasn't done with this pretense just yet.

“What we’re you doing in The Glades at night, by yourself?” There was a distinct growl to his voice as if he was personally offended by her choices.

Everything in her clenched up in anger at that, how dare he. He had no right to just walk back into her life, talk to her like he didn’t even know her and then think he had a vote in how she lived.

He stopped having a say the moment he willingly walked away from her.

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize you had a vote in the way I decide to handle a, quite frankly crappy week. If I want to go out in the middle of the night for a drink then I can, thank you very much Mr. Vigilante, Sir” She said mockingly at him and then stood her ground as he stomped towards her in agitation.

“You got hurt and it could have been worse if I hadn't shown up.” Oliver’s growly voice was in full affect as he spoke the words.

“So?” She said back at him in defiance, “What does it matter to you, I’m a stranger, who cares if I become a statistic?” 

She was hoping he would show he’s hand but by the clenching of his fist around his bow and muscle ticking in his jaw, Oliver wasn’t going to admit anything.

“It’s my job to protect everyone is Starling.” Oliver said softly and fine, whatever, she was done with this conversation and she was done with him.

If she had hoped he’d find her before, tell her that he was wrong, that he wanted to be with her, well this nice little chat blew that out of the water.

“Take my name off that vow will you, I don’t need you to protect me.” And with that she walked her away from him a second time.

No wine for her tonight, she thought sadly. It was shame, she could use, oh say about ten bottles right about now.

She was right about that headache, it plagued her all day and well into the next which was fine by her, the throbbing made any thought of Oliver unbearable, which wasn't so different from any other day to be fair.

In her tiny office she contemplated calling John, she missed him. They hadn't really spoken since he took that job guarding Oliver which was actually really funny to think about. 

Oliver needing a bodyguard, but she supposed he didn’t need a Guardian either, and yet here she was. Or she thought she still had the job, maybe it was only temporary?

Either way John was busy and she was, well avoiding him to be honest. She never actually thought her two worlds would collide with Oliver being M.I.A and what were the chances that he would come back and Dig would end up guarding him.

Felicity had done the math....it was a long shot.

She missed her friend, but she knew if she spent any time with him and Oliver’s name came up she would end up vomiting her secret all over the place.

So, maybe not the wisest decision on her part.

“Felicity Smoak?” 

What the frack, her mind screamed at her in chaos because she knew that voice, just like the night before she would recognize it anywhere.

Sure enough when she swiveled around in her chair, Oliver was there, in her office, as if this was normal “Hi, I’m Oliver Queen.”

“I know who you are,” Felicity said in stunned surprise, “What I’m wondering is why you’re here in the day time, when this would be more appropriate at night.” 

Ag no, that is not what she meant, well...no, totally not what she meant and as Oliver’s mouth tipped up in a smile, one that she had seen so many times before, his eyes shining with reluctant amusement, her heart ran away from her. 

That was until she noticed the laptop in his hands, “I’m having some trouble with my computer---” but that was as far as Oliver got before Felicity did what any rational person would have in that moment.

She chucked the red pen she had been holding right at his stupid, big head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww you made it, so what did you think? Hate it, yes that is my neurotic side talking, she tends to be a tad anxious. In any case Thank you for reading all the hugs and all the love.


	4. Fate is a fickle thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never fully realized what it mean to hurt, (to truly hurt) until I wanted you to such a great extent, only to have no other choice but to convince myself that I didn't."
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Dolls!!!! 
> 
> I know it's been a while since my last post, but life is a harsh and I couldn't get to my computer to write the things i wanted too. I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> This chapter is different from the others, it's leading into a place that my mind was happy to run with, I do hope you agree with it. But it's okay if you don't because I quite like the change, and I love you anyway for sticking with me for so long.
> 
> (I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)
> 
> Much Love and kisses all.
> 
> Ps. You can always come over and as hi at Tumblr I go by 'Octoberwren' there as well.

The pen flew straight at Oliver, which he dodged- because even in this, he couldn’t at least give her the satisfaction of seeing it thump against his head- and he turned back to her wide eyed.

Felicity came around from the desk everything in her body language telling him, she was sure, that she was livid. He took a step back at the evident fury and when Felicity stopped only a few inches from him and stared into those ice blue eyes, her heart wasn’t beating at his nearness at it always did, but of the nuclear rage she could feel growing.

She grabbed the laptop he had, out from his lax hands, and spun around to sit back in her chair, putting all the cables from her computer into his bullet riddled one.

“Felicity,” Her name came out hesitatingly, still in his rough timber, and she refused to let it affect her, it couldn’t not even a little bit. 

“I’m assuming Mr. Queen, that you want the blueprints on this computer?” Her tone was frost, she needed to be hard as stone if she was going to survive this visit and the oncoming emotional assault when he left.

“Blueprints?” Oliver asked questioningly, as he took a seat next to her stiff form, always on a mission, that was her Oliver, well not hers, not any more. Not that he had ever really been hers, Felicity had to squeeze her eyes closed, and will the crushing force of her misery away.

“Yes,” Her voice was a little more harsh that she intended, cutting almost, but she refused to look into his face and whatever expression he turned to look at her with.

Felicity gave him all the information he needed from the laptop, where she could guess a hood wearing vigilante was going to use said information for arrowing.

“If that’s all Mr. Queen I have a lot of work that needs to be done and my boss isn’t exactly a patient man.” She turned back to her ‘work’ that was actually just codes that she had been running when Oliver stood up, and she would not watch him leave not for billionth time.

“Why are you working here? You told me before that you had a job lined up at Q.C” He narrowed his eyes at her, like she was the puzzle that needed to be sorted out and not him, who was a giant puzzle that had taken her years and years to work through and she still didn’t understand him sometimes.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a bitter smile and Oliver immediately frowned at her expression, well if he didn’t like the look then he shouldn’t have been the one to put in there. “I thought we were still playing the pretend game, or are you done with that now, because honestly Oliver it’s getting hard to keep up.”

“I just,” He clenched his jaw next, and blew out a breath of frustration, “ I would like to know what happened to you, why you’re working in this place when you deserve so much better than it. And where you’re living-”

“What do you think happened!?” She snapped back at him, his words touched to close to things she carefully tucked away, she thought she deserved a lot of things in this world, but life had a way of pulling the rug out of her. 

At his stony stony silence, she continued, getting up from her seat, “Those five years were hell for you, but it wasn’t exactly a cake walk for me either Oliver. We both had to sacrifice things to try and get you home, but it was always worth it to me, whatever the price, it was worth it. But then you made it abundantly clear that you weren’t planning on coming home and now,” she stared at him hard, because he needed to understand that the next thing she said, she was dead seriously about it, “ Now, you’re back and I’m so glad for you, and your family, you have a right to be happy Oliver, to live not just to survive. And I hope you will because you deserve it, you deserve everything and more. But what you don’t have right to, is my business and whatever I had to sacrifice, because you were the one who gave that up, you gave me up. And when you did you lost the right to ask me about my life.”

They stood a few feet apart with Oliver looking shattered and Felicity probably defeated. she tried not to let his pain in, but it was useless she always felt it, and her battered heart was struggling with another beating.

“I didn’t have another choice, I had to let you go.” Oliver said in a strained voice, maybe he was trying to make himself believe it.

“That’s such a cop-out Oliver. You always have a choice, you just didn't choose me, you didn't fight for me like I always fought for you.” Her voice rang out the small space, with all the frustration and heartbreak that was inside of her.

“You would have died Felicity,” He said with steel that reminded her so much of his mother, “and I couldn’t, I would not let you be just another casualty in my life, not you. I may not have fought for you in the way that you wanted, but I fought for your life, I will always fight for you to live, even if it’s from me.” 

Oliver stood there like a warrior, spine straight, hands clenched, with the storm of a thousand seas in his eyes, and she could do nothing but blink at him.

Wasn't this just the same conversation they had again and again? They were going in circles, always the same words, just different situations, but inevitably the same results.

What had Einstein once said? Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting a different result.

They were both mad then, because they had been doing this for what felt like years already, and maybe it was time to end the never ending cycle before it turned into worse of a disaster.

If going by a script her next words should have been along the lines of : It was her choice, her life, if she wanted to risk it all on him then she would, she’d risk walking into hell itself to make sure he kept breathing.

But Felicity was done playing the role of star crossed lovers, she had made her new life without him and it was time she started living it. 

So she sat back down in her chair and started typing and with a tired sounding voice said, “You can go now, you got what you came for, an I.T specialist that wouldn’t ask to many questions about the information you needed.”

She stared at the blurry screen and didn't look up not even when she heard his desperate words, “I never wanted to hurt you Felicity, the last thing in the world I would want, is that.”

Felicity heard his footsteps leaving the room, and let the despair fill her, if only for this one last time.

Maybe in a different world, another universe, this conversation would have gone another way, maybe it could have been a beginning instead of an end. 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

That night Felicity sat on her couch watching re-runs of comedy shows, she needed the pick me up, she tried to call Digg but he’s phone was off, probably due to the fact that he was working with the bane of her existence. 

It was probably for the best, what was she even going to tell the older man? Nothing she couldn’t say that would lead her into a straight jacket, and that just dropped her mood even lower. The ice cream she had been inhaling the past few days was mocking her, as well as the adolescent boy behind the till who looked at her in judgement, as she bought another Mint Chip.

He didn’t know her life dammit, so what if this was her comfort food, she didn't go around judging his life choices. And she was sure there was at least few with the smell of weed wafting from him.

“Don’t you think talking about it would be easier on your stomach?” A voice came from her side and Felicity screeched and threw her tub of ice cream at the intruder, while scrambling back, but the throw over blanket that was keeping her blessedly warm, now turned into a death trap as she tumbled to the ground in a heap of arms and legs.

“Just as graceful as I remember my Dear.” The laughing voice said while Felicity pulled the fabric from her head to peer up at the older woman’s smiling face and outstretch hand. 

Felicity took the hand to pick herself up, her heartbeat now decreasing from the frightened level it was, “Vicky, it’s been a while.”

The woman just continued to smile, her face just as she remembered from five years ago when she had first met her, it didn’t even look like she had aged, from Felicity’s old M.I.T dorm room.

“So,” Vicky said now wondering into the kitchen and finding the kettle to switch it on, she was always a fan of tea. “ Your life has been more exciting since the last time we spoke. All the danger, the romance, so much adventure.”

The woman sashayed her way around the room as she took two cups out the shelves, her flowing skirt twirling around her, she looked like a mix between a gypsy and a Fairy Godmother. But if this was her wishes coming true then Felicity wanted a refund.

“Yeah, It’s been a barrel of laughs.” Felicity replied to the woman, now poring hot water into the mugs, thinking of the last ‘adventure’ she had, the house burning down and her terrified yelling of Oliver’s name.

“Now Missy turn that frown upside down, this was your choice remember you could have declined my offer of being young Oliver’s guardian, are you saying if you had a time machine you would go back and say no?” Vicky’s eyes were inquisitive as she sipped at her tea.

Felicity didn’t even have to think about it, not for a second. Five years ago when she had met this woman and when she had gotten over the shock of having a woman pop into existence. And after she finally stopped thinking she was some kind of crazy lady, Felicity had been given a choice to save Oliver, to help him any way she could. Even if she hadn’t met the man before, even knowing that she had no idea how to help him. She knew she would help, it was never a choice, and if some believed in destiny, well then, it felt a little like that.

She was destined to save Oliver.

“No, I wouldn’t.” Felicity said firmly, “ I will never regret the choice I made, so even if you had a time machine I’d decline the offer. Wait are you saying you have a time machine, cause that would be...terrible actually, the amount of possible universes, not to mention the paradox--”

“That doesn’t matter now.” Vicky said waving her hand in a careless manner, causing Felicity’s eyebrows to shoot up almost into her hairline, “What does matter, is that you know now, that you wouldn’t go back, given the choice to do so.”

Felicity took a sip of her tea as well and just wait because there had to more of this weirdness if Vicky had decided to pop into her life, “Which is also very good, it is incredibly rare to be a Guardian of someone and have that person be your Soulmate.”

“I’m sorry?” Felicity was sure that the way Vicky had said that wasn’t in the normal way people threw the word out there, this sounded a lot more like some magic ju-ju she really, really didn’t feel like handling. Or hearing about, but curiosity was a stubborn mistress.

“You know when I first appeared to you, and told you about all the important people destined to be great and the Guardians that protect them, so that eventually they would become those legends?” Vicky said in a chirpy voice at the history lesson.

And yes Felicity remembered, it was kind of hard to forget the day her world had expanded into something mystical. It was also why Felicity always knew Oliver would become the hero she always knew he was, if he didn’t get himself killed before, that is.

So she nodded reluctantly and Vicky continued, “Well some legends speak of Guardians and these great people who are destined to be together. It’s vary rare mind you, but there are cases were a Guardian becomes just as vital, in making the hero become great, as the hero himself. You make Oliver want to be better, to become great.”

“He already is.” Felicity said before she could stop the words from tumbling out, and Vicky smiled at her largely, as if she just confirmed everything she just said. “I mean you’re wrong, this is crazy and that’s saying something, considering what I can do, but Oliver is not-I’m not his soulmate.” the last word was said in a whisper, because this was just insane.

“And how do you know that?” Vicky said while leading against the draws, looking at her in question, like this was a normal thing, that this conversion was normal.

“Being Oliver’s Soulmate would suggest that the man wants to be with me, and if anything that’s one thing Oliver can do without.” Felicity threw her hands in the air, she couldn’t believe she was even humoring this discussion.

“So his stubborn, that fits nicely with your traits.” Vicky said with a light shrug and she wanted pop right out of this room and this situation.

“Stubborn?” Felicity said disbelievingly, “That’s putting it mildly. Very, very mildly.”

“So push a little more, you don’t have the title of soulmate if everything came easily to you both.” The missing pieces came clicking into place in her mind as Vicky stared at her with determination.

“That’s why you’re here isn’t it? To make sure I don’t give up.” Felicity told the woman in realization, her voice coming out a bit accusatory.

Vicky shrugged again, “Maybe I thought you needed a push as well.”  
“I’ve tried!” That was not a whining voice, it was mild annoyance sprinkled with frustration, “You don’t think I haven’t, I’ve done everything besides hitting Oliver, over his stupid head with a hammer.”

“Darling, I’m going to tell you something that few people realize,” Vicky started to say in a soft voice, “There is such a thing as fate and destiny, Oliver may be your soulmate, but you have the choice in him becoming that special person to you. If you think that you’ve tried everything, if you feel that you’ve fought hard enough, with everything you have to give, and then some, if you believe that the only thing you can do is patch him up when he gets hurt, to save him from himself when need be, then that is your choice and you have to live with what that choice brings.” She put a gentle hand on Felicity’s shoulder that reminded her so much of Oliver, it was hard to swallow over the lump in her throat

 

“ I can tell you how ever much I like, that you both would have a love to rival anything the world has ever seen. But if you don’t accept that, if you believe this is all it will ever come to, then I can do nothing to say differently. But remember that in this life you don’t get do over’s and fate is a fickle thing.” When Vicky stepped back from her, Felicity just stood there letting the words flow around in her mind.

“So you’re saying, that it’s my choice?” was all she really could say in response to everything that was plaguing her mind.

“It always was.” That was the last thing she said as Vicky evaporated into thin air, the only sign she was ever there was the mug on the counter.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

So staring blankly up at the ceiling may not have been the best idea and at some point she really needed to get her sleep patterns back to normal. If only that one word would stop playing in her mind like a broke record.

Soulmate.

Which was absolutely ridiculous to even contemplate, because being a guardian was one thing, but soulmates? As in destined to be, it was to much and it opened up that whole can of magical worms she didn’t want to look into.

What did Vicky and the others do on that Mother Ship, play matchmaker all day?

She laughed into her pillow and then groaned at her life, why couldn't she just be some boring I.T girl? When she left Vegas and the bright lights and excitement she swore she just wanted to blend into the crowd, just to do what she loved.

And now what? She was the supposed soulmate of Oliver Queen who like to dress in green and arrow people, and she of course had to run from bullets while teleporting into different countries.

How was this her life? Just how and also why, who did she piss off in another life?

By the time Felicity stopped begroaning her misfortune and picked up her phone in an effort to drown out ever single thought, she saw that she had quite a few missed calls, and voice mails.

The first three were from Digg and the guilt washed over her, as she listed to the first two were he sounded worried and slightly unnerved, she was up in a flash while she pressed a button to listen to his last one.

She stopped tugging on her pants when John’s voice came out calm asking her to call him back so he knew she wasn’t in a ditch somewhere. She winced at that, and before she called him back, to reassure him she was okay, she wanted to listen to the last message from a unknown number.

“Ms, Smoak This is Walter Steele I’m the CEO of Queen Consolidated” The British velvet voice came out of the speaker and Felicity’s eyes widened as he continued, “I was hoping to talk to you on a matter if you would so inclined to call me back or if you would like to stop at my office any time my assistant will let you threw.” the message ended then, as all she could do was stare at it in shock.

What did Walter Steele want to talk to her about? Was it about Moira and the restraining order or something else?

Well she would just have to go down there and find out, it may be stupid of her, but if she could get some questions answered she on the very long list that she was compiling then she would take it.

“John? I’m sorry I missed your call, I’ve been living in a cave for a while, but I didn't mean to make you worry.” She said over the headset once she was in her car and on her way to Q.C.better now than ever.

“No, no it’s fine I just wanted to talk to you about something, but I got it sorted it out.” he sounded a bit preoccupied but so she didn’t push it, even though she was dying to know what was troubling him.

“Alright, well maybe we can grab some coffee later and you can tell me what it was.” just because she wasn’t going to push right at this moment didn’t mean she wasn’t go to push at all, that would be bad friend etiquette.

“I might have to take a rain check on that for today, things are a bit hectic at work.” He sounded calm, but she could hear the tension underneath his words.

“Everything okay?” 

“Haven’t you seen the news at all today?” With his words the dread was building because if Oliver had gone and done something stupid again...

“No, I haven’t” She said nervously really regretting her choice to silence everything in her house so she could think for once.” What’s been going on?”

“Oliver’s been arrested, they suspect him of being the vigilante.” Digg said straight forward, while Felicity turned into the parking lot of Q.C and slammed her breaks.

“What?!” She screamed down the line, “That’s--” the truth, but still Oliver would never get caught, he had a plan, he always had a plan.

“Yeah...” Digg said with what she suspected was surprise at her response, “Listen, we have to talk about your behaviour when it comes to Oliver and we will, but right now, I’m short on time. But don’t think that gets you off on the conversation, we’ll be having that talk soon.” 

“Okay.’ She muttered out, because she knew it was time to come clean to John even if she lost him as a friend because of it. “Just let me know if something goes wrong, or worse than what it is now.”

“Sure. I’ll talk to you later Felicity.” and John ended the call, and she banged her head repeatedly on the steering wheel.

But her head shot up when she relayed her conversation with the big man, because John had said her name, not Megan, but Felicity.

He knew.

How much wasn’t exactly clear but he knew at the very least she had been lying about her name, her goose was cooked.

She entered the building of Q.C a place she had once loved to work for, and as she rode the elevator up to the C.E.O office she was really hoping that this conversation was going to work better that last couple ones she had. 

“Hi, I’m Felicity Smoak, here for Mr. Steele. He said I could come any time.” She said to Walter’s assistant to looked up at her, the young man blinked once, and not looking away from her, picked up the phone pressed a button and held the phone to his ear

He kept staring at her with an expressionless face, what was he a pop person? Should she check the cupboards to look for the actual assistant and not the robot that took his place?

“A Miss Smoak, to see you Sir. “He voice was monotone, big surprise there, his maker wouldn’t want to leave that nice touch out. “Yes Sir, I’ll send her right in.”

Mr. Roboto put the phone back down, “You can go right in.”

“Thanks.” She said backing away, and then walked her way into Walter Steels office with three short taps.

When she entered the spacious room, Walter Steele stood up behind his desk and came around to great her.

“Miss Smoak, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” he said while shaking her hand.

“Well, now that the restraining order has been revoked, you can.” when his shaking hand stilled around hers she rushed to add, “I didn’t mean that to come out so bitter, I mean I don’t hold a grudge, even though I am still a tad resentful, but not in a burn down your house kind of way, more like a, I’m still a bit wary of your wife kind of way.” 

Walter released her hand, and stood there with a non-plussed expression, maybe that’s where Mr. Roboto out there learned the trick.

“Yes, My wife and I are still sorry about how that turned out, I know she has called you before, but let me add our sincere apologies. Maybe my offer can help right the wrong that has been done to you.” Mr. Steele said quite kindly as he led her to a chair, by his desk.

“Offer?” Felicity asked him once he sat down behind his desk.

“I would like for you to look into something for me, I will of course pay you for your time.” 

She stared at Walter, he was asking her to do a job for him? “I’m sorry, but don’t you have a whole staff of I.T experts to handle this for you?”

“Like I said, I wanted to help undo the injustice that has been done to you,” Walter said and she couldn’t find a lie in him, “I also would like this done as discreetly as possible, and your work proceeds you, even in the job you have now. Everyone I have spoken to have said your the best at what you do.”

“What is it you would like me to do, Mr. Steele?” Felicity had a feeling it wasn't normal turn it on and off problems.

Walter handed her a folder, “I’d like you to dig up information on this.”

When she opened the folder her eyes widening on the amount of money and who had authorized it, she muttered out, “Discreetly you said?”

“Yes.” he nodded his head and Felicity stood up with the folder, knowing she was going to help him, he was the first person other than John that was actually kind to her.

“I’m your girl, just give me a couple of hours and I’ll call you with what I have.” 

“If you can call me on my private number,” Walter handed her his card, “I’ll be home to make sure the party doesn’t get to out of control.”

“Party?” She asked, because that was weird, Oliver had been arrested, why on earth would they throw a party, unless...

“Oliver’s way of blowing off some steam I’m afraid,” He said with a shake of his head, and Felicity knew it was a part of Oliver’s plan in some way. “You are more than welcome to come, if you like”

“I’ll think about it.” She said, and she would, she would have to deal with whole soulmate thing sometime, what not now? Or should could go back into her cave and not think of anything at all especially the whole soulmate thing. It was a hard choice to make.

When Felicity turned around to leave, Walter called her name causing her to stop, and look at his kind face. “I realize my wife has offered you the same, but I’d like to repeat it, there will always be a job here for you. Q.C would be lucky to have you as an asset for them.”

Coming form him instead of Moira it sounded genuine and not at all like a bribe, so she actually found herself considering it. “I’ll think about that too.”

“Please do.” 

And with that Felicity left his office to go dig up any dirt on the missing 2.6 million dollars and why Moira Queen’s name was attached to it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When she had figured out the mystery of the money she made a call to Walter and emailed him her findings. She got a thank you at her quick work as well as another offer of a job and repeat invitation to the party tonight.

She would bet that Moira was up to something cloak and dagger-ish, the offshore account Tempest and the warehouse under it’s name all screamed off in her book, so when Walter had asked her about joining the I.T staff again she had said yes.

If Oliver’s mother was up to no good, she should at least be where she could do something about it.

And maybe she was starting to think that Soulmate thing wasn’t exactly complete bull, if the way the pull in her was all but screaming to go find him, to be near him in anyway she could.

She only felt that tug when she was looking for Oliver when he was in danger, but lately ever since he had come back it’s been there, slowly but surely growing in intensity, and now with him not showing up any chance he got, with ridiculous stories, the pull was driving her half mad. 

Felicity was getting anxious to see him, it was if her whole body knew where she was supposed to be but wasn’t. 

The whole pull thing just screamed magic and she could almost hear Vicky taunting her with the knowledge Felicity was coming to accept, and seriously if the popping into existence wasn’t bad enough, now she had to deal with this as well?

So Felicity tired to ignore the feeling, maybe if she did, it would go away, she spring cleaned and when that was done, she tried to read a book that she had wanted to get into for awhile, but when she re -read the same sentence over and over again she huffed and chucked the book aside.

It was no use, she was practically crawling out of her body and if she wanted it to stop, she knew what she had to do.

Go to that stupid party.

What did one exactly wear to a get out of jail party. Stripes? 

Felicity settled for a yellow long flowing dress that was just causal enough not to look overdone and pretty enough to blend in, well she hope so, she didn’t party with the rich and famous on her days off.

She added some flats and make up and with s deep breath mentally preparing herself she walked out her door and started the journey to The Queen mansion

Her evil body calmed down so much that she stopped shaking when she got threw the gate, it probably sensed Oliver was near, the flipping traitorous, traitor.

When she got her feet across the threshold of his home, she eyed the drunk people around her at gawked at the big, big mansion.

If she thought Oliver was out of her league before....

Thankfully as she delved deeper into the many, many rooms she spotted a bar and made a beeline towards it, she needed the courage.

When the bartender handed her a glass of red wine that was probably more expensive than her couch she tried not to gulp it down.

“Well don’t you look just like sunshine in a bottle.” A voice said behind her and Felicity jumped.

“Sorry,” the man said while coming to stand in front of her, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

His hair was dark and he held a grin in place, he looked like a charmer and he was one, by the stories Oliver had told her about him.  
Tommy Merlyn.

“That I am,” he said grinning at her in full force, while she blushed when she figured out she said his name out loud. “although it seems a bit unfair that you know my name but I don’t know yours”

“He name is Felicity Smoak.” said another more familiar voice from behind her, that she didn’t jump at this time, even when Oliver’s hand cupped her shoulder.

“Of course you know her, you’ve been back a couple of weeks but you always knew the beautiful woman.” Tommy smiled down at her, while Oliver’s hand tightened around her shoulder.

“He does get around, “ her eyes widened when Tommy laughed and she quickly said, “Not with me, obviously. I’m sure there are other places his gotten around too, but not me. There’s no getting with this, or around it.”

She twirled her hand around her body, and when she realized how that action didn’t really inspire confidence, that she wasn’t a complete moron she stopped.

A huff escaped Oliver from behind her and she wanted to turn and look him in the eye but Tommy spoke first, “I like her Oliver, she’s much better that any other girl I’ve seen you with.”

His tone clearly said hook-up and Felicity bristled at it, she may not know what Oliver and her were exactly but it wasn’t that.

“Things change Tommy, and Felicity is special.” Oliver’s voice came out strong and sure, his tone warning his friend not to compare her to a meaningless fling. 

Felicity’s heart raced at that, while Tommy’s eyes widened, then turned serious as he nodded to his friend.

“Now if you’ll excuse us, Felicity needed to talk to me about something important.” Oliver’s hand trailed down her bare shoulder, leaving goosebumps and a shiver to run down her skin, his fingers came to a rest at her elbow and with slight pressure she stood up, coming to stand next to him.

“Sure, I heard someone say something about tequila. It was nice to meet you Felicity.” Tommy said with as he picked up her hand and gave it a kiss, which she blushed at, and Oliver pulled her closer to him, warning Tommy with a glare. His friend just winked back and left disappearing into the crowd.

She looked up at his face, a frown etched onto it as he looked down at her, his hand still clutching her to his side.

The noise around them seemed to fade, the world could have imploded and he probably wouldn’t have noticed while she got lost in his gaze, she couldn't take her eyes off of him, and he seemed to have the same problem.

Maybe they really were soulmates, the air seemed to pulse around them, a magnetic pull that could only be magic. Or at least something that felt magical.

Oliver’s hand came up towards to cheek, and it was ridiculous how much of a need she had to feel his hand on her skin.

“Oliver?” a voice called out to them and broke the spell that seemed to be weaved around them, when they both looked to the person with varying degree’s of annoyance.

Her body tensed at the woman looking at them, “I’m sorry, did we have a legal appointment?” Oliver’s voice came out not teasingly like the words would suggest but a bit tensely.

Felicity blew out a breath as she looked at the beautiful woman, she knew her face well, having looked at the photograph Oliver seemed to have permanently out to look at, on the island.

“Gorgeous Laurel.” she whispered her, voice getting lost into the noise of music and the people that surrounded them. But Oliver heard her as his eyes settled on her again with confusion, he searched her face but Felicity hid anything that he might find, it only made him frown harder.

He opened his mouth to speak but Laurel spoke first, “If I could tare you away from this inappropriately themed party, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

The disdain in her voice was apparently lodged Felicity’s way as well as she looked at the hand Oliver was still holding her with.

“Laurel I don’t have time for another argument, or the patience.” It was subtle but Oliver moved so he was almost in front of Felicity, shielding her from Laurel’s gaze.

“It will only take a second Ollie, and I won’t fight I promise.” She went on pleadingly.

“Go, Oliver. It seems important to her.” Felicity said this time, before she could listen to the two go on, and he looked at her, she tired to reassure him that it was fine.

He nodded reluctantly, “Fine. But you stay right here, don’t move. I’ll be back in a few minuets.” he waited until she agreed, then Oliver left with Laurel at his side as he led them to the front doors of the mansion.

Felicity watched them leave together, and could only scoff as she curled in on herself and took another sip of her wine.

Fate really was a fickle thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, you read all of it, well you made me blush so hard, I love you for it. Thank You and as always Much Love for staying with me through this awesome journey!


	5. There is no world without her.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How does it feel to loose her? It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me-- all at once"
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Dolls!
> 
> I have a feeling a lot of you may hate me after this, but I actually like this chapter it may be my favorite so far. So basically what I'm saying is that i'm a masochist. It's written in Oliver's POV and is really really angsty. It's also a lot shorter than my other chapters, but I promise to make up for it with the next one. ;)
> 
> I want to say (again) thank you so much for the support in this, the response I've gotten for this story has been so mind blowing and humbling. I love you guys so much for all the kind words. You are the best!
> 
> You can come over and say hi to me on Tumblr I go by "octoberwren" there too.
> 
> Much Love you guys and Happy Reading!  
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

**_The near future._ **

Red.

That’s all he sees, there’s nowhere else to look except for that stain slowly spreading against the fabric of her polka dot blouse.

It’s unnatural. The mark of violence doesn't belong, not on her.

Never her.

His loosing focus, shock, his mind tells him. Everything is blurring around the edges and if this was Ollie Queen then he may have thought it was a bad trip.

But Oliver Queen’s reality was sharp and clear, so clear he can almost taste the copper in the air.

“Oliver! Snap out of it man, she needs you.” He knows that voice, is absolutely sure it’s a ally not an enemy. But his whole universe is that fabric, his gaze on that blood red stain and what this will mean.

Because this, he knows to the very core of him, this is going to fucking break him.

She’s so still, like one of the princess he read to Thea about when she was younger. Normally in those stories there was some magical way to bring back the sleeping girl, but she’s not asleep and there’s no waking up from this, no buying back the excruciating trauma he going to suffer, no fix.

She had just come out of no where. Just like she always did, and with her came the same fear induced panic that always followed him when he first noticed her in the same room as him, and the many dangers that always surrounded him.

It happened to fast, he didn’t see the gun. The one his mother had reached for.

Felicity had taken the bullet meant for him, and he had to watch the shock in her eyes, the confusion and pain as she stumbled forward and he grabbed her body before it could crumble.

Her weight in his arms where like shackles of grief pulling him into the ground.

Felicity-his mind can’t even think her name without pain ricocheting through his system-she’s going to bleed out on this table. And that’ll be that, no more mission.

Oliver’s life will end precisely the same time hers will, it’s a fact he long a ago came to accept. It was precisely why he tried so fucking hard to stay away, to let her be safe and protected.

And look how well that’s turned out, a bleak voice in the back of his mind whispers, and Oliver’s chest is now constricting, breathing is getting harder.

“Oliver!” A force makes him stumble, his back slams into something hard a wall, most likely, he doesn't feel it, all the anguish he has left in him is focused on the woman only a few feet from him.

“Look at me man,” Oliver doesn't listen to the command, and his vision of Felicity is cut off when the bigger man steps into is eye line.

That gets a reaction out of him, with a forceful shove, Digg is pushed to the side, “Don’t” he snarls out, the violence that is never far from him explodes with that one word.

Oliver knows the man that he is. He knows how he can look at a situation and see the breaks and cracks in them. How he would use all of it to his advantage. But he doesn't have a plan for this, he doesn't know how, this moment might possibly be the most important and he should have a plan, some way to fix this. But he doesn’t, he cant breath, he can’t think.

The last time he felt this terrified, this helpless, he was watching his father put a gun to his head, and Oliver knows that might mean something poetic but he can’t think, if he could just get two seconds to think then maybe-

“I slowed the bleeding down, but if she doesn't get more blood, she will die, Oliver. This girl she’s my friend and I won’t let that--”

“Oliver?” It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, that voice so soft he almost didn’t hear it over Digg’s .

But he did, and in a few steps he was at her side, staring into her unfocused blue eyes, the one’s he never thought he’d see again.

“Felicity, can you hear me?” He asked with a horse voice, knowing it cracked, he cupped her face in his leather gloved hands gently, so he wouldn't hurt her more than he already had.

“This isn’t your fault.” If he didn’t know better he would have thought she could have read his mind, a new power to go along with her other unique talents, but he did know better. It was just Felicity, his beautiful, perfect Felicity and her uncanny ability to read his mind better than himself.

“Don’t speak, you need your strength.” He held one of her hands in his own, squeezed it, to reassure himself more than her, that she was for the moment still alive, for right now she was looking at him and breathing.

“Funny, always thought it would be me watching you die, didn’t think it would be the other way around.” Felicity smiled, and he couldn’t understand how she could, when all he wanted to do was bend over and retch at her words.

His palm cradling her face he moved it so she could stare at him. “You are not dying you hear me, you are not allowed to leave me” It was more of a demand than a request, she was not going anywhere, she couldn’t.

“Stubborn until the end Oliver” She was still smiling, how could she still be smiling? Talking about this, talking about how she was going to leave him.

“This isn’t the end, you need to fight for me” This time it wasn’t a demand, it was a plea, to her and a God he had stopped believing in a long time ago. “I need you to do that one last time, I wont loose you, do understand me? I can’t loose you. So you need to fight just a little longer okay?”

Her body started to shake, and her eyes were loosing focus, and he couldn’t- he couldn't do any of this without her.

“Feel cold” Felicity whispered, and he shook his head as she started to close her eyes.

“No, no. Open your eyes, don’t do this to me, not after everything, I can’t do this without you. Open your eyes.” Both of his hands where on her face now, his fingers spread along her cheeks, as he willed her to just fight a little longer.

“Oliver I love- And that’s all he heard, before her head lolled to the side

“Felicity!” the scream he let out then was inhuman, a bellow of anguish echoing along the walls, as he called out her name again and again.

But no one answered.

Felicity, the woman he would burn the world for, the woman he loved, and had been so stupid to never say it. She was still, and quite, she would never know, never hear how much he-

And finally he did what he had be suppressing to do, the moment her body got torn by a bullet from his mother. Finally, Oliver crumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna go hide from the pitch forks. Hope you didn't hate it to much, there is of course more to come so don't loose the hope, Love you guys.


	6. A theory of madness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To repeat a situation over and over again, it only leads to madness"
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Dolls!!
> 
> The last chapter seemed to confuse a lot of you, and looking back I may have changed a thing. Oliver's POV is actually a flash forward. So It's going to happen, just later in the story, I probably should have made that clearer but hey, you live and you learn. I do want to thank all of you guys though (again, I'm not stopping) You have made me so happy with all of your encouragement. I have loved this experience and it has made me feel so lucky to have all of you so excited about this odd little fic. I have so Much love for you all. 
> 
> If you'd like to say Hi I'm on tumblr as well. I go by 'octoberwren' there too.
> 
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

One minuet she was drinking her second-okay third- glass of wine at the party and absolutely not looking for Oliver to come back from his ‘conversation’ with Laurel. 

The next she was trying not to loose her balance as she popped into another room of the countless one’s in the Queen mansion, where Oliver had just body slammed into a coffee table.

Frack.

The man.- Waiter?- had just picked up the gun lying on the floor when Felicity grabbed the nearest object, a vase, and smashed it over his head.

If that didn’t stop him, the two gunshots fired into his chest certainly did the trick.

Detective Lance swept into the room gun in hand, while Oliver rushed to her.

“Are you okay?” Oliver asked cradling her head between his hands and searching her for any injuries.

“I’m fine Oliver, who the heck was that guy?” Oliver didn’t answer her, and she had to bite down on the curses that wanted to fly out of her mouth.

“Yes. This is Detective Lance, we have a body in the Queen mansion.”

The two men looked across the room at each other, but once the older man’s gaze shifted to her, his barley held contempt for Oliver shifted into confusion, as he saw her next to the man she had fought so hard to bring home.

“Miss Smoak?” While Oliver tensed at the words not knowing how they knew each other, Felicity felt with certainty that this conversation was not going to go well.

If she could pop out of this room, now would be the time, but she would just land the last place that she had disappeared from. Which was this house, so that didn’t help worth a damn.

“The last place I would think to find you was the Queen mansion, after what this family has done to you.” The words were like a grenade waiting to go off.

“What is he talking about?” Oliver’s words were for her, but he never pulled his gaze from the Detective.

“You don’t know?” He said in barely held amusement at Oliver’s suffering “Your mother filed a restraining order against Miss Smoak here, when she claimed to know where you where, your mother said she had lost her mind. She told the police that every tip and message that was flooding our database was because of this young lady. We had to get a warrant out for her, my captain demanded it, I never could prove that had anything to do with the Queen name, but I knew it.”

Oliver’s face had turned form stony silence to absolute rage, and with every word Detective Lance was saying, he was going nuclear in his wrath, but either the older man was oblivious to it or was taunting Oliver with the words, as he went on, “Your mother ran this poor girl out of town when all she wanted to do was help you.”

“That’s enough detective,” Felicity snapped out, the white hot rage she was feeling towards the other man exploding in her tone. “The police and you for that matter, thought I was just as crazy as Moira Queen said” She stared hard into his shifting eyes. “So don’t think you can come in here and make Oliver feel bad for something he couldn’t control.” The Detective at least had the grace to look ashamed of his actions.

Oliver on the other hand had gone eerie in silence and when she saw his face she wanted to scream bloody murder. This was exactly why she never wanted to tell him the extreme measures she took to bring him home. That blank look on his face, like his world was shifting and turning and she knew that he would come to only one conclusion. That it was his fault. 

No matter that she did it out of love, that all the sacrifices she had made weren't sacrifices to her, he would only see it as that.

The two cops coming into the room broke them out of black void they had been tumbling into, and with a few orders, Felicity and Oliver left the room.

The pull happened an she could only be grateful that she could make a run for it, it may be cowardly but if she had to go through another one of their conversations she might actually do bodily harm.

Oliver had other idea’s though as he gripped her arm and led them into another room and slamming the door behind him he turned to glare at her. Which wasn’t really where she thought his emotions would lead him. Man pain, yes, angry rage, no not so much.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes flashed fire and if she didn’t know him, if she wasn’t a hundred percent certain, she would have been afraid of his barely held in rage.

But she did know him, so she held her ground and with a stubborn lift of her chin, she said. “Excuse me?” the ‘dumbass’ was implied.

“All these years and not once Felicity, not once have you said anything about my mother.” He ran a hand threw his hair in frustration as he spun away from her.

“Because I knew that exactly this would happen.” She lifted a finger to point at him, “You take the world on your shoulders Oliver and you had too much to deal with over the past five years. What good would it have done if I told you? It wouldn't of mattered.”

“It mattered to me!” She flinched back at his agonised scream, as she watched him slowly break down in front of her.

“All those years,” Oliver shook his head and it was painful to watch this, “All those years and I thought I had the worst of it. I was selfish,” She reached out to touch him, to at least take away his pain, but he backed away like a cornered animal, and her hand dropped and curled into a fist.

“Oliver,” she said softly trying not to spook him, but just as his yell a few seconds before had made her flinch, her quite voice looked like it cut him.

“No, I was selfish. You living in the glades, working in that shop instead of Q.C. You had to run from the cops Felicity, and it was all because of me. I thought, stupidly, that you just came and went, that even if you had to appear next to me in the middle of a war zone, it would be okay, if I could keep you safe long enough, you would go home, and the hell I was living wouldn’t touch you. That darkness would never leave it’s mark, but it just followed you home, because of me, because of my family.” The torment in his gaze struck her, and Felicity would do anything, give anything to take it away.

But there was no rationalizing with him, she could tell him about her new job, she could tell him that it was never a sacrifice being this person who pulled him out of danger. She could talk to him until she was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t change a thing. He was determined to put the weight of the world onto his shoulders. 

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” she muttered the words again, and his head snapped up to her, and she didn’t want to hurt him, she didn’t want to make this worse that it was already. 

“How can you say that?” he practically growled out, and the cold in his voice shivered up her spine.

“In Russia,” And she had to take a deep breath for this, because the memory still ached like a jagged piece of glass, “When I was begging you to come back, you wouldn’t. It didn't matter what I said, how much I fought, you refused. So if I had told you then, you’re telling me it would of made a difference? When you could actually come home, when there was a way to bring you back, if I had told you then would it have mattered?”

One look, one piercing glance of his ice blue eyes and she knew the answer.

No, he wouldn’t have come back with her.

This was never going to end was it? The harder she pushed the further he ran.

Soulmates huh? Well if they were Felicity didn’t want any part of it any more, she was leaving the ring. And this time there was no second chances, no more second guessing herself, she may love this man more that life itself, but she could learn to live with that. 

“I’m done Oliver.” Her firm response startled him into moving but she took a step back, away from him.

“No.” she shook her head when he opened his mouth, she didn’t want to hear it, she didn’t want a reason to break her carefully pulled up walls. “I’ll help you with your hood problems, and we both can’t help the fact that I pop into your world when your about to knock on heavens door. And I wouldn’t change that. I’d never leave you alone with that, it doesn't matter that you don’t want me near when it happens.”

“But this,” she said waving into the space in-between them, “ whatever this is, I’m done. I can’t do this any more Oliver, and I can’t wait for you to decided that I make my own decisions. I don’t want us to tear each other apart any more, It’s destroying me.”

The pull tugged her harder, and it filled the feeling of emptiness swallowing her whole.

“You’re right, it’s enough.” His low voice reached her ears, and if there was any hope left it was dashed in cold water with his words.

They stood there apart, just like they had many times before and the silence stretched and tore into each other. Because finally there was nothing else left to say.

Her feet hit tiles, and she stared into the empty room of the Queen mansion, not a soul left in the room she had previously been trying to drown her sorrows in.

So Felicity did the only thing left to do, she ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you made it...I'm sorry. But have faith lovey Olicity fans, the epic couple will reach the light.


	7. There's a devil at your door.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I never love anyone the way I love you, It will be a relief." 
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Dolls!!
> 
> I know, I know I suck. I hit a wall and it was damn hard breaking that effing thing down. Plus side? I have given all you lovely people a loooong chapter. Okay so maybe not as long as some of my other chapters, but still pretty big.
> 
> So I should say that even though this fic takes place in Season 1 I am doing my own twist to it so it won't be the same.
> 
> Is everyone excited for the new Arrow/Flash crossover because I am!
> 
> So A HUGE thank you to all of you who read this and gave me all these Kudos, and the wonderful comments, this oddball fic started out so small, and random, and you guys keep me going with all you're kind words. I adore all of you! Hope I don't disappoint.
> 
> Happy reading Dolls, MUCH, MUCH LOVE FOR YOU ALL!
> 
> P.s You can come on over to Tumblr it's always great to talk to you guys. I go by @Octoberwren there as well.
> 
> (As always: I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

She would have thought given the circumstances of their last talk, Oliver would have been playing the avoidance game.

And she was right-sort of- she didn’t actually see him, but a mysterious check in the mail had Oliver written all over it.

Her eyes bugged out when she saw the amount of zero’s attached and when she stopped feeling woozy, annoyance and anger set it. Instead of talking to her like a normal person, he did this.

She would have torn the stupid piece of paper up but she knew that she would see Oliver again, so naturally she put it in her bag, so Felicity could do it in-front of his smug face. 

It was the small things that were going to give her pleasure, now that she had made the decision to live without him.

The only tiny problem in this, is that opposed to the last time she made up her mind on the never ending spiral of hurt, Oliver was a world away from her. Now he was right here in Starling.

And there wasn’t much escaping him, when everywhere she went someone was talking about him or his alter ego.

It was fan-flipping-tastic. 

It wasn’t just the whispers or news reports she had to avoid- because that would be to easy, and the universe hated her- no she had to listen to John. Or rather she had to watch him cross his huge arms and just stare at her. 

Waiting for her to crack like a cheap nut.

“Felicity.” Said man was repeating her name she was sure and she grimaced at the look he was shooting her.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” she shrugged helplessly.

“How about you start with how you and Oliver actually know each other. Because as far as I can tell your paths never crossed. And when I asked him, he left the room.” Digg arched an eyebrow, and she slumped a little, that move was really persuasive.

“That sounds like him.” she muttered while playing with the straw in her chocolate milkshake.

“It’s comments like that, that make me believe your not being honest.”

She huffed out a breath, “Look it’s not like I don’t want to tell you, it’s more if I did, that you wouldn’t believe me. And you would definitely think I was crazy, like super duper crazy. It’s more of a see it to believe it kind of thing.”

“Okay,” He said slowly already looking at her like she was nuts, “lets start with something else then, why were you working at a crappy diner, with the name Megan?”

Well that wasn’t better in her opinion, “I need you to keep an open mind here okay?” When he nodded in acceptance she continued. “So lets just say I knew where Oliver was all these years, and with that information I gave it to Moira Queen, who thought I was crazy. Kind of how your looking at me now. Well she of course instead of, I don’t know getting her son, she used her power for evil and sicked the SCPD on me. So I went on the lamb.”

She took a sip of her milkshake watching as John processed, which involved a lot of opening and closing his mouth and eyeing her up and down. Apparently his system was rebooting.  
“Oh, and then Oliver came home and she dropped the chargers.”Felicity shrugged, when John kept staring at her. 

“How exactly did you know where Oliver was?” He said next, and she hesitated.

“That would be a part of the seeing to believe thing.” Digg pinched his nose in exasperation but she couldn’t exactly blurt it out. Even Oliver who had seen her disappear into thin air multiple times sill had trouble believing it.

But his stubbornness rivaled anything she had ever seen before so that didn't count.

“Okay Felicity. You can keep whatever it is your hiding from me until you’re ready. I just get the feeling that your close to him and I don’t want you to get hurt. Oliver’s going through some things, maybe things that you know of or don’t, but if you ever need to talk you know where I am.” This was why she loved John, and just wanted to hug him all the darn time, he always knew what to say, and as his friend she was never alone.

“Thanks Digg. But that goes both ways as well.” She smiled at him, grateful for having him in her life, and for still being in it. It was hard keeping things from him. So she was just happy she didn’t have to any more.

But most of the things he said led her to think that John was Oliver’s partner in crime.

Literally, the little Jon to Oliver’s Robin Hood. 

When Oliver had gotten the chargers dropped for being the vigilante, Felicity knew there had be someone helping him. And if the math was right, John was that man. 

And when she was summoned later in the week to Walter’s office, not finding the British man but finding Oliver and Diggle instead, she knew her hunch was right. Walter probably told Oliver about her job here.

So not seeing talk dark and broody for a while was out of the question then huh? 

Yeah the universe could suck it, especially seeing as the tug she had been feeling all week, that had made her itch with restlessness calmed all the way down when Oliver was directly in her view. 

This ‘Soulmate’ thing was as much a pain, as the man she was supposedly connected to was.

Even more suspicious was the way Oliver reacted to her presence, where he had been stiff as a bored before, a deep sigh came out of his mouth as he instantly relaxed. He even cracked his neck, as if removing the tension that had been building.

If Oliver could feel the same tug when she wasn’t near-and she was guessing he could-then this little problem was going to get way, way worse.

She had no intention of telling him that though, just imagining his face as she mentioned the word ‘Soulmate’ was enough to make her scoff in amusement. 

Both men turned to look at her when the noise escaped her.

“Sorry, just things going on in here.” She twirled her finger to indicate her head, and Diggle smirked in reply, but Oliver was still looking at her with a furrowed brow. 

Felicity wasn’t even going to think about the meaning of that, nope she was here under platonic circumstances. 

No more wondering about every minuscule expression that handsome face made. Nope. No siree, not her.

“What can I do for you Oliver?” She said when he made it clear he wasn’t going to stop looking at her in confusion. Or you know, talk.

“I was wondering if you could look someone up for me.” Oliver, finally capable of using words said, and gestured for her to take a seat.

She did and took her tablet out from her bag, “Of course, that’s what I’m here for. Google services, internet researcher. You know, help. I’m helpful.” 

What she was, was babbling. When Oliver’s mouth quirked into a smile she coughed and avoided his eyes. While Digg was glancing at them like they were a tennis match.

“The man’s name is Derek Reston.” Oliver said and she quickly got the information.

“No credit action, or utility bills but...” She hesitated when she saw what flashed in front of her, she didn’t know how to phrase this.

“What is it Felicity?” Oliver said in a low calming voice and she had no choice other than just to blurt it out.

“He worked for you father Oliver, at the Queen-Steel factory. He worked there for fifteen years until it shut down in 07’” Oliver’s jaw tightened at the words as he shared a glance with Digg, a whole conversation went through both of them, without one man uttering a word.

“He was a factory foreman until you dad out sourced production from China, about fifteen hundred employees got laid off.” The words were like gravel coming out of her mouth, Oliver idolized his father. Even with the many mistakes he had made, and giving him proof of said mistakes was not an easy pill to swallow.

“Thank you Felicity, for your help.” It was like a machine had uttered those words instead of a flesh and blood man. He stood up to leave, and she watched him, never breaking her gaze from Oliver’s taunt back even when John put a hand to her shoulder in comfort.

She couldn’t help but wonder who this Derek Reston was, and what exactly he had done to justify a visit from the vigilante.

But it wasn’t her business, she did her part, she helped when he needed it, and Felicity was determined not to get any more involved that she already was.

Even when that pull started to tug at her, like a string was attached to him, she ignored it just like she had all week. She pushed the feeling into the back of her mind, where a box of things called-Nope,nope,nope.-lived.

It was only until he left her eye line that she remembered that damnable check still taunting her in her purse.

Felicity threw herself into her work for the next couple of weeks as a way to block out thoughts and just get lost in her codes. 

Numbers where easy, they all had a solution to them, a problem that she could fix and she need that in her life now, simple easy Tech problems. None of them involving a billionaire vigilante

And when she wasn’t lost in her work, she was digging into Moira Queen and the skeletons she may or may not have buried in her mansion. She really hoped that they would be the type of skeletons that where figurative and not real corpses.

When she ran across a shadow group tracking the money of Moira’s off shore account, her curiosity was peeked, it was one of her greatest strengths and weaknesses, that she hated unsolved mysteries.

So when she found that image, she had to inform Walter, his response was- well a bit mean really. Yes she was probably sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, but his wife was lying to him, and whatever she was involved in was dangerous, Felicity could feel in in her bones.

When Walter called her into his office the day after, she headed up the elevator with more that a slight hesitation.

It had been barely a month, she couldn’t be fired now, she was looking at new apartments for Google’s sake. And okay, yes maybe she had been more that a little hasty with the whole Moira thing, but the Queen family should have known by now that she was stubborn.

She had tracked Oliver for years.

She opened the glass doors to Walter Steele’s office and immediately started to run her mouth. “You wanted to see me Mr. Steele? Did I mention that it’s almost Christmas and the many suicides are often caused due to unexpected joblessness?”

Well, if he didn’t think she was slightly unhinged before he certainly did now.

Walter tapped something on his desk and when she glanced down at it, it took everything in her to keep her face carefully blank.

“I want you to find out everything about that notebook, where it was made, how it was purchased and what it could mean.” 

Oh no.

Felicity knew she grabbed the small book, she knew that Walter had told her to be careful and asking her if she really wanted to go down this path and she had responded about hating unresolved mysteries.

Felicity knew all this but she was on autopilot, because this book was the exact same one as Oliver’s, with all it’s names. 

Or more specifically Oliver’s father’s.

Both Moira and Robert Queen had identical note books. What the frack did that even mean? Nothing good, going by the names in the book. 

Felicity could really just kick her own ass, of course she knew Oliver had a plan, but she didn’t think he was crossing off names in his father’s book. Guess she was wrong.

What where his parents involved in exactly, a secret super villain club?

Everything in her was screaming to go find Oliver, to tell him. The stupid bond that they had was getting to strong for her, the inch that she normally shoved to the back of her head, was demanding in it’s intensity.

By the time Felicity had stumbled into bed, the pull was so intense she felt physically ill.

Stupid, bond. Stupid, stupid Oliver and his stupid parents.

And yes, okay being stubborn was one thing, but her whole body had been shaking since she put her hands on that damnable book, and just because she didn’t really feel like inserting herself back into Oliver’s life, she did promise that she would help him. And obviously ignoring the problem wasn’t the answer. 

Sometimes being a grown up sucked.

When she pulled her car outside of the warehouse her traitor of a body seemed to calm down, she still felt like she was going to throw up, but that was probably more to do with seeing Oliver again. Wishful thinking, sue her.

The door to his lair opened with a quiet click.

“This-this was a custom job.” It was incredibly shameful that her heart didn’t get the memo about him being a rat bastard, as it tried to break it’s way out of her chest at the sound of his voice.

The next voice floated to her ears and had her pausing more than the first. “So, Lance gave in after the other archer dropped another body?”

John. Shoot her plan didn’t involve him being here. Well, at least all there secrets would be out in the fresh air now.

Except for her and Oliver being Soulmates, and her magical ways, and whatever Oliver had been doing in Russia.

So maybe not fresh, fresh air, but at least a little unpolluted.

“Nelson Ravish.”

“Which is another name on you dad’s list, so is this guy trying to frame you, or calling you out?”

“Either way, I need to find him.” Oliver spoke with determination and Felicity could hear the strain in his voice.

She also realized she should probably get out of the shadows like some stalker.

“I could probably help with that.” Her voice traveled a tad to loudly and really she should have know better, but she was still slightly surprised to see a gun in one man’s hand and the other holding a long black arrow in a throwing position.

Rude.

“It’s nice to see you too, boys.” Her eyes racked over them both but she got stuck and almost drowned in the intense release that Oliver’s gaze gave her.

Her whole body relaxed, her left over trembling stopped, and that sick twist in her stomach was gone immediately. Felicity gasped in oxygen, her lungs filling up with the sweet air, she hadn’t even noticed her short breaths before.

What she did notice was Oliver’s same intake of air, like he had felt all the emotion she had, which was terrifying.

This was terrifying, this level of need she had for him, how could anyone stand it? How could she?

“What,” Oliver’s face was a terrible mix of rage and fear as he clenched his jaw, and a storm reined free in his piercing blue eyes, “What are you doing here Felicity.”

So they were just going to ignore that then? Felicity looked towards Dig as a reprieve of Oliver’s wrath but had to look away when his gaze was bouncing between the both of them.

Well it looks like one of the three people in this room was not ignoring what happened, and it wasn’t her.

“You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be Oliver, so don’t take that growly tone with me. It’s never scared me away before.” Felicity said while digging into her bag to get the small notebook out.

“Walter gave this to me.” She pulled it out, and walked the short distance to where Oliver was, he looked on warily as she got closer, but when he looked down to where she held the notebook, his eyes widened as he grabbed it out of her hands.

“Is that-” Dig said.

“Oliver’s Santa list? Yes it is and spoiler alter, their all naughty.” Dig grinned at her words as they both watched Oliver flipping through the pages.

“Where,” Oliver’s voice cracked, and he had to clear it, and her heart squeezed tight with emotion, “Where did you get this?”

“Walter,” she rushed to get the next words out, “Oliver, he said he found it in your house. That it belongs to your mother.”

There was silence that ran through the room after her announcement and no one seemed willing to break it.

“Is that from the copy cat archer?” Felicity said, anything to take away the silence, she walked towards the black arrow that was on the table.

So she had been keeping an eye on the police, she wasn’t involved, she was just interested.

“Be careful.” Oliver’s voice rumbled from behind her, and she rolled her eyes as she picked up the medieval weapon.

“It’s patented,” she held the weapon in one hand and pulled out her tablet in the other. With a few clicks, she pulled up all the information, “That patent is registered to a company called Sagittarius. A little on the nose if you ask me, which you weren’t, I’m just speaking, which I tend to do a lot.”

A huff escaped behind her, and a chuckle.

“Where and when was it purchased?” Dig asked her and she went back to her tablet.

“Looks like that was from a bundle shipment of two-hundred” She dug around in her bag once again to scribble down the address.

And when she turned around to give the piece of paper to Oliver, she had to look up, and up to meet his eyes. She hadn’t realized he was standing so close.

Everything seemed to drift away as they looked at one another, her fingers twitched against the paper and she struggled with herself from reaching out and smoothing away the frown that was etched between his eyes.

A cough from John had her jumping slightly, as she flushed, and shoved the piece of paper at Oliver’s chest. Looking anywhere but at him and his dumb hypnotic eyes.

“It’s the address where the shipment was sent.” She was unprepared for the electricity to shoot up her arm when Oliver took the note from her grasp.

And to make matters worse when she did look at him he gave her the most tender expression, “You’re remarkable.”

Thanks for remarking on it, was what she wanted to automatically say, but instead a shuttered gasp came out of her, as Oliver’s fingers- he was still holding her, why was he still holding her-brushed against her skin and a trail of heat, settled somewhere it really, really shouldn’t have. 

“Are you two always like this?” Dig once again broke the spell but she was thankful for it, it gave her a minuet to bash down her libido.

She was going to give a stern talking to her body on what was and wasn’t appropriate to do in front of this man. 

Her alarm went off and she dug into her bang to silence the sound.

“Shoot, I have to run.” She had completely forgot about her appointment with the realtor.

She gave nods to both of the men and started to walk out when an arm at her elbow and her name spoken like a song stopped her. She squeezed her eyes closed, she used to love the way he said her name, now it just made her hurt, and she was done with hurting over this man.

When she looked at him she wish to the heavens she didn’t. He knew he hurt her, if the shattered expression and quick removal of his touch said anything. 

Oliver’s gaze bunt her, he seemed to want to find something in her eyes, but whatever it was she was sure she couldn’t give it to him.

With a small shake of his head, he shoved his hands into his pockets, and said in a slow, soft voice. “Thank you, for coming to me. I may not know what’s going on with my family but it still means a lot that you trusted me enough to come to me.”

She blew out a breath and shook her head as well, while a small sad smile graced her lips. “It was never me that had the problem with trust. I’ve always trusted you Oliver.”

He got that look in his eye, the one where she knew the next thing he was going to say would give her hope, which she didn’t need, couldn’t need. 

Oliver took a step forward, but she moved back an opposite force. Felicity seemed to being that a lot lately backing away when he pushed.

His hand curled into a fist at his side, “I’ve always tr-”

“Lets not okay?” Her interruption of his words caused him to give a grunt of displeasure, but he kept quiet.

Then she remembered something, and dug in her bag to get it, when she did she held the check out to Oliver, who didn’t seem inclined to take it from her.

“Take it Oliver, I don’t need the Queen charity fund to help me out, I’m doing pretty good on my own” When he still didn’t move a mussel to take it from her, she did what she wanted to when she found it in her mail.

She ripped it apart.

Oliver turned his face, so she could clearly see the tick of his jaw as he ground his teeth in frustration.

“It wasn’t charity, it was something you deserved after all the shit the Queen name has done for your life.” He still wouldn’t look at her, but Dig was from darkness of the lair, his eyes held hers steady before they drifted away to the laptop that looked like a set up from the eighties.

“I don’t need it Oliver.” I don’t need you, was what she was really getting at, even if her whole being protested the thought.

She didn’t need him, she went her whole life never needing anyone and she would be damned if this would break her.

“Fine.” Oliver practically spat, as he turned and walked away from her back into the darkness -which was an apt metaphor if she ever saw one- and she could take a guess that he heard her underlining words.

Felicity steadied herself and walked out of the basement and prepared mentally for the pull to start and fill the space where Oliver’s presence had once again left a void.

xxxxxxx

Felicity knew she had horrible luck when it came to popping whenever trouble had caught Oliver, like the many times she was wearing a towel, or instead of attending a costume party, she had ended up wearing a corset to the island of hell. Whoever named that place purgatory didn’t have to run in heels, while the bones of said corset stuck into her bones. One memorable time had her in a bikini.  
The universe likes to have her half naked around Oliver is what she’s saying.

So, no, her luck hasn’t been quite the best when it came to her powers, but this honestly had to the cake.

She had been sleeping for eff’s sake, nestled up in her warm blankets and getting, quite frankly some much needed sleep.

The next thing she knows her head in bouncing off something really hard, like cement hard, her vision swims when her eyes pop open and a the startled cry she lets out at the force echo's around the room. But her voice gets lost in the other noises around her.

Grunting. And not the good kind. No that’s fighting, and the crashing of bodies being thrown around.

Felicity stumbles up to her feet, barely making it as she trips over air, and her vision isn’t working right. She also feels like she might vomit.

Which is Y’know bad, bad, bad.

She has a concussion, and the reason why she can’t see is because there’s blood dripping into her eyes, also bad.

“I know about the list and the man that authored it wants you dead.” The muffled voice comes to her like she’s at the bottom of the ocean. 

But she wills herself to keep moving because she knows that if Oliver isn’t saying anything back then it’s because he can’t.

So she wills herself not to vomit and she stumbles along as the grunts increase and the man- who is going to need a stretcher if he hurts Oliver any more-keeps talking.

“They call you the hood, lets see what you look like without it.” And then she’s almost sprinting when she hears his threat, but she can’t find them, their voices are bouncing along the walls, and she thinks she might have a heart attack with the way her chest is trying to squeeze the life out of her.

It suddenly goes so quite and that’s worse than anything that’s happened before, she trapped it a maze, like the night in Russia, except back then Felicity had a tour guide to get her and Oliver out

Her vision swims again as she turns a corner where big pieces of wood are scattered around the floor, where the fight must have taken place. But there’s nobody there.

She can’t find him, she can’t find Oliver, and-oh God this isn’t where it ends. This can not be where it ends.

Where was the pull? Where was that thing she always felt, that had her leading her directly towards him? Was it because she bumped her head, because that is stupid, this is stupid.

Where is he?!

She wonders in the small part of her head that seems to be working with logic if she’s having a panic attack.

“He wouldn’t have left a hostage behind, so who are you?” The dark voice she knows, can feel down to her core, that is evil comes from behind her and she spins so fast that she almost, almost swan dives into the floor again, but she steady's herself.

She wipes the blood from her eyes and looks at the man, whose dressed in black, with a bow in his hand.  
She thinks he may be the devil.

Or her head in more injured than she thought.

“Where is he?” The only way her voice is sure and strong is from listening to Oliver all these years, she’s going to fake it, till she makes it. “If he’s-” She can’t say it, saying it makes it real.

“What would you do?” His using a voice modulator, but she can hear the amusement in his tone, and see the malice in his eyes.

She must make quite the picture, in her pajamas, hair a mess, blood probably covering half her face, but she still stands firm.

Don’t let him see your fear, a voice she knows is Oliver’s is swimming in her head, and once she finds him-because she will- and gets them both to a doctor, she won’t mention the voices in her head. 

“Would you try to kill me?” The man’s dark voice pulls her from the fog her minds been swimming in.

Felicity doesn’t condone killing but for Oliver...

“They would never find you. Now. Where. Is. He. Crazy?” 

It’s like she blinks and he’s just there, right in front of her, his hand a tight, unrelenting band against her forearms, he squeezes so tight she knows she’ll be bruised, but she refused to give away any pain he might inflict or the fear that’s bleeding into her veins as he stares into her eyes.

“I don’t know, I wondering that myself,” And in a move she knows is meant for intimidation, he pulls her body into his chest and leans down to her ear. “Let’s go find him together, shall we?”

She can’t help the shiver of disgust that races down her body, and the vile that’s slowly rising as his breath hits her ear. 

She hopes she pukes on him, the evil bastard.

The rising of multiple voices makes him thrust her away forcefully and she does hit the ground this time, as her knees take the hit.

“Sorry sweetheart, that may have to wait. But don’t worry, I’ll find you again.” And with that last threat he's gone.

Felicity pulls herself up and runs for it, the police and her never will have a great relationship.

There’s a white sheet she passes that’s on the floor, the dust on the ground has footprints and she knows she heading in the right direction when the pull happens, tugging her forward, but her relief is short lived when she see a window open. When she looks down, two stories down, she can see him, arrows sticking out of his back and that’s when she does turn her head and throw up.

The voices at her back grow more clear and she has no choice, Oliver never makes things easy.  
Oh this was a bad idea, a really, really bad idea.

And stupid. So stupid.

Felicity jumps anyway.

The jarring pain in her arm is the first thing she feels as she hits what she presumes is the dumpster, then rolls down at a terrifying speed and she hits dirt. She bites her lip to keep from screaming at the piercing pain from her ankle.

“So stupid.” she moans her thoughts at this spectacular plan of hers.

She crawls her way to the reason she threw herself out of a window, and when she looks at his closed eyes, she would do it a hundred times over if he opened those eyes and let her see the blue of them for just a little longer.

“Oliver.” She tries not to move him, not even a fraction but she does cup his face, her hands are shaking “Come on Oliver, wake up. I need you to wake up please. You can’t do this to me again okay? I can’t do this again.”

There’s arrows in his back, and she knows she should check his pulse, she should do something, anything else but letting the tears drop against his cheek, but she’s so afraid. 

No one could survive that, not even Oliver.

She said she didn’t need him, that was the last thing she had said to him. That she didn’t need him. Was she lying to him or to herself, because this felt like a need that was never going to go away.

And if he died, she’d die with him, that’s how this whole soulmate thing worked right?

She couldn’t check his pulse, she didn’t have a phone, she didn’t know what to do. Uselesss.

She was right before, she knew eventually a time would come that she wouldn’t be strong enough or fast enough that she would have failed him. And she did.

She couldn’t check his pulse.

“Felicity!” A strong grip on her shoulder ripped her away from Oliver. “You need to let go now, we need to get him to the hospital.”

“John.” Her small voice came out in whimper as she looked at the man crouched down next to Oliver. How long had he been there?

“His alive Felicity, but you need to let go so we can help him.” Her friend ordered and she scrambled up to help him move Oliver to the van she now saw was in the alley with them.

How had she not heard that?

They both took Oliver under his arm, and she grunted against the pain shooting through her ankle and left arm. She may have been useless before and she shuddered to think how many times Dig had tried to get her attention.

At least now she could do something and she would, know matter how much pain she was in.

They put him down as gently as they could in the back and Felicity climbed in with Oliver and tried to make sure those arrows didn’t shift to much.

Dig started the van and they were soon moving at a high speed down the streets.

“We need to stop at the basement to pick him up extra clothes.” Dig said from the front.

She nodded her head, as her eyes started to droop. Concussion, right.

Then, because it was her life and the universe just loved to throw all the wrenches at her, she felt the tug, which meant her bedroom was the next destination and not the lair, or the hospital. Which judging by her sluggish brain and pain in multiple places, that wasn’t letting up any time soon, she probably really needed a medical bed rather than her bed.

“John. Something weird is going to happen now.” She said as calmly as she could, and removed herself from Oliver, just in case she made things worse by her vanishing act.

“What do you mean?” For a guy who was about to see something from the twilight zone, he sounded remarkable unruffled.

“Remember when I told you I couldn’t tell you how me and Oliver met, because it was a seeing to believe kind of thing?” She looked at him in the mirror and when their eyes met he slowly nodded his head. “Well, you’re about to see, you can work out the believing part later. All I need you to know is that in a couple seconds I won’t be here, I’ll be at home.”

John’s eyes narrowed and she loved this man, so if the universe could stop and take a break from throwing those wrenches, and make him not think she was a crazy pants, that would be awesome.

“You’re not going anywhere.” She shut her eyes at the pain from his words, because she knew it would take time and he wouldn’t automatically believe her but there was that stupid hope thing she had going on, that seemed to get her into a lot of trouble.

“Don’t think I didn’t see the way you where limping, or how you’ve been cradling your arm, plus it was hard to miss the blood over your face. I have a strong sense that you jumped out of that window to save Oliver and trust me, when he wakes up he’ll be hearing all about that. You’re not leaving, you need a hospital, so whatever you’re about to do Felicity,” John stared at her as if by only his threatening gaze alone would be enough to hold her butt inside the van. “Don’t”

Felicity knew it was probably not the most appropriate time to smile like a deranged idiot but she did anyway.

“It doesn’t work like that John, if I could stay with him,” She couldn’t help the way her voice grew soft thinking about all the times she desperately wanted to stay behind with Oliver, only to be ripped away. “If I could stay I would. But my jobs done.”

“What does that mean?” He asked gruffly 

“It means,” She gasped at the sharper than normal tug, “It means that he doesn’t need me any more.”

She looked at Oliver willing him to hold on just a little bit more.

“Bullshit.” He eyes snapped back to Dig as he caught her gaze in the mirror again, “ I may not know all there is to Oliver Queen and I probably never will, but the one thing I’m certain of, is that he needs you.”

She refused to let the tears fall at Johns words, even when she landed in her bed a second later, she kept them at bay.

She probably needed to call a cap to take her to the hospital for the concussion, it was making her damn weepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks, I promise to try not be so late with my next chapter. Hope you enjoyed the read, and much love to you for actually reading it. xxx


	8. And the hits keep on coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's been an ugly day," She said. "Tell me something beautiful."  
> And he said her name
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Hello there all you beautiful people.
> 
> I suck I know, this has been a long time coming and all of you have been so patient with me as I tried to get a handle on my shit. The writer block was real friends, very real. I have to feel inspired to write and I've been a tad bit stressed lately so unfortunately my writing suffered. All of you have really helped me with so much kind words for this fic, and I love you all dearly for it.
> 
> I'm not done with this story even if it takes me a little longer to update. Que guilt spiral.
> 
> So honestly guys I really appreciate all your comments and kudos, you bring such joy to my life.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and that it was worth the wait!
> 
> Much Love to you all!!!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to chat ; ) Come say hi!  
> http://octoberwren.tumblr.com/

Felicity’s cab driver was looking at her suspiciously from the rear-view mirror though to be fair, if she had a bleeding customer, who was squinting at him, she would probably be a bit cautious as well.

“I’m not a criminal.” She said finally after he had looked at her again, which felt like for the hundredth time.

She could see his shoulders shrug against the seat, “Sure lady. Wouldn’t want you to get a visit by that man dressed in a hood.”

Felicity made some sort of laugh that was borderline hysterical, it did nothing to assure the man driving that she wasn’t some lunatic. But Oliver being portrayed as the bogeyman to scare off bad behaviour was a bit much for her pain-induced mind.

With every bruised and broken bone in her body, she hoped he was okay.

The car drive after that was silent, except for more of those looks he kept giving her, only now she wisely kept her mouth shut.

When finally they made it to the hospital, she had paid him and wasn’t a little bit sorry when the cash she gave to him was dotted with blood.

“Hi, I need some help. I think I broke, like, everything.” The receptionist nodded nonchalantly to Felicity’s words, probably thinking she was over exaggerating. But when she looked up, and her eyes widened, and Felicity tried to give a smile, that may have looked deranged at this point. The nice lady stuttered out something and as quick as that, she was on a wheelchair, taking the pressure of her throbbing foot.

As she was wheeled down a hallway by a nurse, a familiar figure rushed towards her.

“Felicity,” John's eyes were big as saucers, and he was waving his arms around her, but not actually touching her.

“Hi, John, “ She waved weakly with her uninjured hand. To be honest, she felt like hell. Her pounding head felt like elephants were stampeding in there 

“Why didn’t you answer your phone? I was just coming to your house.” He sounded frantic, and she hoped that didn’t mean anything bad about Oliver.

But her mind was sluggish, her thoughts felt like they were only registering ten seconds too late.

She shook her head trying to make sense of the world blurring around her, “Phone?-I don’t-How is he, how’s Oliver?”

“Sir I need you to step back please” The nurse was saying but Felicity only heard John’s shout of her name as her body fell listlessly to the side and her world went dark. 

***

 

This felt a lot like that brownie incident in college, without the trip to the emergency ward.

Oh, wait.

And that’s how Felicity woke up giggling, to two sets of concerned eyes.

“Ag, that brownie was the worst” Was the first thing that came out of her mouth, because it so was, who does that anyway? Giving pot to unsuspecting college students?

“Felicity?” Wow, Oliver’s voice was like an electric wire against all of her senses, and since when could he talk? The last time she saw him he had arrows in his back and didn’t want to wake up.

“You’re a cat.” When he just blinked at her, she added, “because of your many lives?”

When he frowned harder and seriously how was that possible, didn’t he know that if he pulled that face too much it could get stuck like that.

“No, nope. Frowny face is not allowed in this space.” she twirled her hand to indicated the era in which she was currently staying in. But her hand caught on something and felt really heavy, so she just dropped it again, while Oliver came to stand-loom-over her.

Still with his frown face on and it was totally harshing her mellow.

So she did the only reasonable thing left to do, she patted his whole face with her hand. “Shhh, stop screaming at me with your adorable broody face on” 

“Felicity, I haven’t said anything.” Oliver tried to catch her hand but her reflexes were too uncoordinated for him to catch. 

“But your face is screaming at me, smile Oliver, you look so beautiful when you smile.” Her hand was now pinching his cheeks, trying to get one of those rare smiles from him, it worked, he huffed out a laugh and those kissable lips quirked into the most amazing grin she had seen on his face by far.

She hummed happily while patting said smile trying to see if she could make it last, “You really do have kissable lips, well at least from what I can remember. That was a good kiss. A plus worthy.I can’t even get Oliver to stop his broody ways and kiss me again, his head would explode if I told him that-why is the room spinning?” She opened her heavy eyes again and locked on to the confused and slightly amused faces of the two men. 

“What? -Hey John, how long have you been here for?” She said sleepily

“A while.” The big lug of a man rumbled out a laugh as Oliver stood next to him, his jaw opening and closing. 

Since when could Oliver stand?

“Oliver, are you okay? You really should stop getting into so many fights, your body doesn’t deserve it and I love your body.” Her eyes felt like a weight was pressing down on them, so she closed them. ‘That brownie really was the worst.”

****

The next few times she woke up, she was barely awake, whatever they gave her was dragging her under into a sleepy daze, the only constant thing she could remember was Oliver. He was there every time she woke, always in the chair next to her bed, soothing her back into her dream state. His hand clutched into hers. John came and went as well, speaking too low for her ears to pick up.

When her eyes dragged open again, it was quite in the room and she could feel pain throbbing in her whole body. She felt like death warmed over.

The groan she let out made Oliver shoot to his feet and rush over to her side.

“Felicity?” His worried tone made her squint at him trying very hard to make out his blurred shape.

“Glasses.” She was pretty sure that’s what she said, but it came out more of a wheezing cough.

Instead of having her glasses being handed to her it was a glass of water, which was just as good, as she took gulping sips that soothed her throat.

“What happened?” She knew she hadn’t been driven over by a Mac truck, no matter that it felt like it.

Oliver crossed his big arms. Uh-Oh. She felt a lecture coming on.

“You jumped out of a window.” He growled out. Oh right, she did do that.

“So did you.” Was her five-year-old reply, she held in her instinct to stick out her tongue, barely.

“What was I supposed to do Oliver, leave you there to die?”

“Yes,” He said between clenched teeth, “That is exactly what you were supposed to do.”

She scoffed and he growled, it wasn’t a sexy noise. It was not.

“Sure because that’s worked out so well for me the past five hundred or so times I’ve saved your butt.” After that, they defaulted to staring in tense frustration at each other.

“Fine. You’ll work with John and I then.” Was his gasp-worthy response.

Which she did and started to cough, a lot. Oliver got that panicked look on his face again, and she vaguely remembered her had patting it? Okay...not the time to freak out, well not about that at least.

“I’m sorry. I think I went deaf or insane. Did you say you wanted me to work with you? As in your lair with all those pointy objects that I could stumble and impale myself on?” 

“It’s not a lair.” He crossed his arms and it was probably the drugs still in her system, but Felicity could have sworn he pouted a little.

“Oliver. Not to beat a dead horse or anything but I thought you wanted me as far from you work as possible. I don’t know if you know this,” She leant forward a bit to stage whisper. “But it’s dangerous.”

Oliver not even attempting to respond to her sass just arched an eyebrow.

“I think,” He said slowly in a rumble of a voice, “that the best way to keep you safe is for me to know where you are at all times. So you don’t end up following me out of a damned window.”

“That’s not protection, that’s control.” Felicity didn’t even know if she wanted to work with them, she was perfectly happy doing what she had been doing. 

Spying on his night time activities and helping him when the occasion called for it. Which thinking about it, was actually working with him, just not...working with him.  
Huh.

“If it keeps you out of trouble long enough that your sense of self-preservation starts to kick in, then you can call it whatever you want.” Oliver did that thing again when he stared so hard as if by will alone she would comply. 

It worked eight times out of ten. So he wasn’t entirely wrong, but still it was the principle of the matter.

“Hey, Felicity, nice to see you awake and coherent.” John walked in saving them both from a heated exchange of staring.

“So how bad was my rambling?” Her mother had always told her how awkwardly honest she became once the medically induced drugs kicked in.

“Not much, it was very enlightening though.” John quirked a smile as he stared at Oliver, who in turned glowered at the room at large.

She didn’t want to know what came out of her mouth by the vague and slightly humiliating memories she was having. Thank Google she never said anything about that pesky soulmate problem. She could Just imagine Oliver’s head exploding like a grape.

“So are you ready?” John’s voice broke her out of her musings.

“Ready for what?”

“You didn’t tell her.” He said to Oliver. All he got from that was a very expressive shrug.

“I was waiting until she was in a good mood and didn’t feel like yelling.” He said ignoring Felicity and her gaze.

“This sounds like something I’m really not going to like.”

“The doctor said you could probably be released once he checked on you.” John said.

“Okay, that sounds fine. So what with the doom and gloom vibes.” 

“You’ll have to stay with someone, your injuries need to be looked after and I would offer my place but I’ve been staying in a motel. The landlord of my apartment had to have pest control in when there were complaints of rats.” John told her, which okay rats sure. 

She wasn't getting the problem until Oliver looked shifty as hell and then it suddenly became crystal clear.

“No.” She said adamantly, shaking her head, and if she could stomp her feet she would, Just to make her point crystal clear.

“Felicity-” Oliver said in a long drawn out sigh as if he could for tell this response from her.

“No, Oliver I am not sharing a house with you-” At the flash of pain that went across his face at her response, she quickly added, “or your mother.”

Look at that, you want to save him from pain, you still care, her inner Oliver cheerleader whispered snarkily. She mentally flipped her off.

“I can take care of myself thank you very much.” She said stubbornly, it would be hard with her foot but she could do it, hell she spent most of her life taking care of herself. She didn’t need no man.

“You jumped out a window.” The only man she ever did want or need, said for the thousand time.

“So did you.” Seriously they were just repeating themselves now.

“I have training, years of it.”

“Yeah, well I have skills as well.” She said grumpily.

“Felicity.” Oliver said in that soft voice she had only heard from him when it came to her, her heart said that meant something while her brain was scoffing at her for being an idiot.

Oliver came closer, just enough to reach over and cup his hand over her cheek, her traitorous heart leapt at it, and to further announce how not over him she was, the monitor beeped rapidly in response to his touch.

Felicity blushed furiously but Oliver went on like the noise barely even registered as he looked into her eyes.

“Every time you just disappeared from my life I wished that I could know with certainty that you were safe. I’m finally in a position to know that you are and I know it’s asking a lot. Too much maybe, but let me take care of you. Just this once, you can go back to hating me afterwards.” The sincerity in his voice clanged around in her head and she’d blame it on the drugs if she got a little misty eyed.

“I’ll never hate you, I never did.” She said just as softly as she reached up to grab his hand as he brushed his thumb against her cheek, her body shivered in response, just like every other time he touched her.

How could she say no to that? That was in a nutshell, her entire problem with Oliver, she never really could.

“Okay.” She nodded, knowing that there were a million reasons why she should say no, but at his blinding smile all of them evaporated and she just sat memorised by him.

“Good, I’m glad that’s settled.” Both Oliver and Felicity jumped apart like two teenagers caught necking by their parents. 

“Yeah.” John drawled out. “I’m still here.” His smirk said it all really.

Oliver let out a curse and walked to the door, “I’m going to check in at home, make sure the room is ready for when Felicity arrives.” and with that Oliver left her with a still smirking John.

Traitor.

“So...” John started while she forced herself to look into his amused filled eyes, “ What’s with you pulling a vanishing act like you’re some kind of Houdini.

Felicity gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Love it? Hate it? Oh well either way thank you for reading!!!


	9. I'll protect you against it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When the world's against you, I'll protect you from it all"
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my fantastic, awesome, Olicity loving people.
> 
> So before I get into it, I just want you guys to know something a little personal (hope you don't mind) I had one hell of a week with my writing, a lot of people, well they weren't nice and I had a couple disappointments. I was a little down about it, and when I do feel like this about my writing, when I think that, maybe I'm just not that good enough...I immediately come here, to this story. And look at my Kudos and re-read all of your comments, and without fail, every time it always cheers me up and makes me believe in myself.
> 
> You guys make me believe in myself, and you will never know how much you all mean to me, and how your words and kindness have affected me in the most positive way. I love you all dearly for giving me that treasure So THNAK YOU.
> 
> And as a thank you to all you wonderful people, I've not only written a long chapter, but I've written Two!  
> I know! Me, miss procrastination. But you Inspired me.
> 
> As always Thank you from the bottom of heart (especially because of this shit-tastic week) Much love beautiful souls. 
> 
> Oh and be prepared, the angst is coming.
> 
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

“So a gypsy named Vicky offered you a job as a Guardian for Oliver, and instead of calling the cops like a rational person, you believed her.”

“To be fair,” Felicity said to John and his snarky remark, “her appearing out of nowhere pretty much clinched the deal on the whole magic of it all.”

“Right,” John drawled as he sat next to her on the bed, he practically tumbled onto it when she explained the Oliver Mystery.

“And then you just kept appearing in his life when he was in danger.”

“Well, not all the time, mostly when that danger had the potential of him dying. As much as Oliver gets into trouble he knows what he’s doing. So most of the time it was more a couple of weeks and when he was trying my patience it could go months before I saw him again.” She kept glancing at the door waiting for Oliver to bust in a go growly face.

But he had been gone for a while now, with enough time for the doctor to declare that she was fine to leave but should take it easy, and then for John to loom over her until she spat out her life tale.

She was actually getting worried now and edgy with Oliver being gone so long, this bond was growing suspiciously more intense. What did it want from her? To be glued to Oliver’s hip?

He was in the same damn building and yet it wasn’t enough, she needed to him.

This was torture.

“You’re still not telling me all of it.” John’s voice brought her back from the brink.

No, she wasn’t. The whole Soulmate thing was really getting out of hand and maybe if John didn’t think she was certifiable he could give her some of that Yoda wisdom.

“Look I know this is hard for you, and maybe it’s not exactly in my wheelhouse, but I do believe you Felicity. You’re one of the most logical people I know, so if you say magic exists, then why the hell not. I’ve seen some things in my life that could be explained by it anyway.” John’s voice was a balm to all those remarks she had heard from some of the worst people.

She was crazy, deranged, a freak.

She thought she had put it all away but with Johns words, Felicity realized she just buried it. 

Despite her protesting limbs, she lunged for the big man, practically choking him with how tight she hugged him.

“Thanks, John.” She whispered as his arms gently held her, “You’ll never know how much that means to me.”

“I’m always here for you.” he said when she let go with a sniffle and tenderness in his eyes. “So If you're holding back because you think I might judge you, don’t.”

“Oliver’s my soulmate.” She just blurted that out in one breath and even though the weight lifted from her shoulder, Diggle’s eyebrows rose to the extreme and she coughed awkwardly.

“I think anyone with a pair of eyes can see that Felicity. Although I didn’t think you would admit it so freely.” He put a hand on her shoulder in comfort as he quirked a grin in amusement.

Wait, what?

She shook her head hastily, “No-What?-no, that’s not what I meant. I mean legitimately. He’s my SOULMATE. In all caps.”

When John just nodded his head in agreement, she knew he didn’t quite get it.

“No not in the way people normally mean that too sound, I mean in a magical kind of way, and not ‘oh it’s so romantic it’s magical’ it’s really the magic kind. Vicky said some Guardians and the people they guard, I guess, have this sort of bond. As first I thought she was just trying to keep me with Oliver, but then these urges started to happen.” When Diggle started to cough she rolled her eyes.

“Not those kind, well...No besides the point. It was like this tug, the kind I felt only when Oliver was in danger, but then it grew more intense. I can’t sleep if I don’t know where he is, my stomach ties it selves in knots, it’s like everything in me needs him to be around. And then when he is I can breathe and with every passing day it just gets stronger. No matter how hard I try to stay away I physically can’t.” She breathed in a deep breath and waited for Johns response.

“Oliver feels the same thing doesn’t he? I’ve seen the way you tow interact and by what you’re describing it sounds like it’s mutual, when you’re not near him, his intensity sky-rockets about twenty times more. And when he does see you, it’s like you’re his only focus in the universe.” It looked like John was speaking to himself more than her, and really that was for the best, her mouth was currently on the floor anyway.

“He doesn’t know does he, you haven’t told him.” It wasn’t a question but she answered it anyway.

“And watch him revert into denial again? No thanks, he still has difficulty with me being his Guardian, how do you think Oliver will react when he finds out Destiny wants us to be together. No well John, that’s how.” Felicity stared at the blankets covering her and fiddled with the loose string she found.

John stilled her hand as he took it in of his, “You don’t know that Felicity.”

“I can come up with an accurate guess, he’ll run John, he always does.” She said softly to hide her fears, she only just got him back. Barely. She didn’t know if she could take it if he left again.

“Maybe,” John squeezed her hand and she smiled a little at the gesture, “But be that as it may, he deserves to know. This affects him just as much as it does you. You know you have to tell him, Felicity.”

“I know.” The when and how was left unspoken as her body relaxed a second before Oliver busted into the room, his face stark pale.

“Oliver, what is it?” She asked in panic, in response to her words he looked at her blankly.

“It’s Thea.” Oliver said expressionless, “She was involved in an accident.”

 

Even though Felicity practically begged Oliver to just let her go home so he could be with his sister, he refused, although he did agree to let John take her home..to pack her things.

And now, well she was stuck in the Queen mansion in one of the many rooms it had, and honestly, it was creepy as hell.

Felicity was pretty sure if magic existed then so did ghosts.

“You know you’re in my room right?” 

She screamed long and loud and threw the nearest thing available, it turned out to be a pillow.

Oliver naturally dodged it easily. 

“What the frack Oliver!” The pain in her arm and foot was only now letting itself be known as she groaned out loud.

Oliver scooped the pillow up and the he did the same to her, she only has a few seconds of bliss being cradled in his arms before she was gently lowered onto the bed.

The big bed. Oliver’s bed. Oliver’s room. That she was currently in.

Google help her.

“We really need to work on your awareness.” He said while turning to look at her and putting the pillow underneath her foot. She tried and failed to stop the shiver as he touched her bare skin.

“I’m always aware where you are.” She tried to cover up her blunder when he narrowed his eyes by being more awkward, “I mean, I’m aware of things. In general. Not you specifically, I don’t have a weird sense of where you are all the time. I just didn’t know you were behind me because I was think of ghosts.”

“Ghosts.” He repeated in an I-don’t-believe-you way.

Which was fair, but she had gone too far now to untangle the web.

“Yes, ghosts. Which I’m sure this house has.”

“Felicity-”

“How’s Thea?” She wasn’t asking to get him off her trail, she wanted to know. Oliver’s sister was such a big part of his life, and she felt like she knew the girl with how much he spoke about her over the years. She was worried about her, and Oliver, who was looking so tired he might fall down.

Oliver rubbed a hand over his face and she wanted desperately to hold him, but that wasn’t her place, it never was, no matter what being Soulmates meant.

“She’s fine, The doctors just need to keep her over night. My mother’s staying with her, I’ll pick her up in the morning.” He said while sitting down next to her on his bed.

“What happened?” Felicity asked to try and distract herself, his warmth was wrapping around her, making her feel safe, making this feel like home.

And going down that road would be dangerous.

“Thea said she lost control of the car.” His hand had been slowly rubbing circles along her sore ankle’s but Felicity didn’t think he realized what he was doing, as he was staring vacantly at the wall. But she was well aware of what his touch alone inspired in her. As heat and goosebumps rose all over her body.

“You don’t think that what happened.” A slow swipe up her calf had her stuttering the words, she was wearing Jeans for Pete sakes. She really wanted to remove that hand before she did something stupid, like jump his jump-able bones.

“I don’t know what happened, she could just be new to driving.”

“But you don’t think so.”

And despite the situation, he quirked a grin at her reading him so well, “No, I don’t” Oliver shook his head.

And finally he must have realized where his hand was because he leapt off the couch in a graceful movement that left Felicity breathless.

“I have a few things to sort out, so get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Call me if you need anything” And before she could utter anything else he was gone.

888

Felicity was awoken from the best sleep she’s had in a long time, it probably had to do with Oliver’s sent on the pillows and the safety she felt just being near him.

So to have a girl staring at her with suspicion at dumb-o’clock was not what she had been expecting to find in the room when she opened her eyes.

The girl stopped leaning over her and straightened her spine, then crossed her arms, in a move that was eerily familiar...

“Thea.” She muttered while shuffling up to sit and put on her glasses, trying to compose herself while the youngest Queen stayed silent with a glare to match.

“Uhm, How are you feeling?” She said while feeling highly awkward in a tank top and Doctor Who pants, while Thea looked well like a Queen. Even the cut to her head didn’t diminish the way she held herself, or could intimidate with the best of them. Like her mother.

“Well what I’d like to know is why you’re in my brother's bed, in my house, and why the hell you know my name and yet I have no idea who you are.” She said cuttingly at yeah that hurt, a lot actually.

But it made sense, Oliver probably didn’t have time to tell her that a strange woman would be staying in her house.

She knew this was a bad idea, and it just got worse when the clicking of high heels came closer and Felicity’s body tensed when Moira Queen walked into the room.

Damn Oliver where was he?

If by the tensing of her body, he was nowhere near enough to save her from the coming storm.

Joy.

“Thea there you are, we need to go talk to the lawyers about your charges. You shouldn’t have woken up Felicity, Oliver was very clear when he told me not to disturb her.” Although Moira Queen was talking at her, not to her, her daughter turned to look at her in shock.

“You’re Felicity?”

“You got arrested?” They said at the same time while Felicity blushed at the implication that she did indeed know who she was, Thea looked away in shame.

Luckily her body showed the tell tale sign of Oliver as she looked towards the door he appeared a second later. He breathed a sigh of relief as their eyes connected, the tensed as he noticed the other occupants of the room. 

“Mother, Thea.” he started in an authoritative voice, and Felicity had the urge to giggle as both woman turned to him in guilt, “I thought I said Felicity wasn’t to be disturbed”

“Yes, well,” Moira brushed herself off like the Queen she was, “maybe if she wasn’t in your room Oliver it would have turned out differently. But such as it stands she wasn’t so it couldn’t be helped”

“Ollie I didn’t know she was Felicity.” But Thea’s voice was lost to her, all she could hear was the contempt in Moria’s voice.

As if the very likes of her was only good enough to clean Oliver room, the fact that she was in it must be sacrilegious to Moira.

“-Really Oliver it’s unbecoming, the poor girl would most certainly feel more comfortable in a guest room.” As she returned to the conversation, Moira’s disdain was heard clearly in her words.

All eyes turned to her as she stumbled out of the bed and bit her lip at the pain it caused her, but she wouldn’t utter a sound. Not in front of this woman.

Thea who was closest grabbed her elbow to steady her, and just that kind gesture almost broke her. 

If Thea hadn’t hated her before she was going to now, but it couldn’t be helped, she was nobody doormat.

“What have I ever done to you, to make you so damn mean.” She practically spat the words at Oliver’s mother, “The only thing I’ve done was loved your son enough to try and save him. You would think that would endure you to me, but if anything it seems to piss you off more. And I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, I don’t deserve this.”

She turned to Oliver who was practically radiating with rage, his eyes were dark with it, and hated that she put him in the middle of this, hated that he was angry with her. But she had self-worth dammit and she wouldn’t let herself be a coward.

“I told you this was a bad idea, I’m just going to go.” She told Oliver as she tried to go for her suitcase in the corner of her room. She didn’t make three steps before she was being swung up into Oliver’s arms. 

This was becoming a habit for him. Not that she was complaining. 

When he put her back on the bed and rested his forehead against her, like he had done so many months ago, she couldn’t help but grab onto his arms for dear life.

This was all she needed. Oliver next to her while everything blurred into the background.

“You’re not going anywhere, Felicity.” And with that he removed the connection by turning around and facing his mother and Thea ( who looked sort of stunned by Oliver) he put his back in front of her so the only thing she saw was the soft material of his Hently and the muscles playing across his back.

“Mother I love you dearly, but if you talk to Felicity with that tone again, I will leave this house and won’t look back.” The gasp she heard didn’t come from Moira but Thea and Oliver’s threat. 

Felicity gripped his jersey trying to silently tell him not to push it to the extreme, he lost some of the hard edges but not the growl to his voice.

“She has saved me, more times than you can possibly comprehend, she is a guest here, and If this room is where she feels the safest, then this room. My room is where she’ll stay. I won’t have you making her feel like she doesn’t belong, because she does. And that’s the end of the conversation.”

Silence rained supreme over the room at the end of Oliver’s words, and Felicity could help it, but if she wasn’t so in love with this man, this moment would be when she fell in love all over again.

She never had anyone fight for her in that kind of way, only he would go up against his mother to save her feelings, to make sure she knew that if everyone else was against her, he would stand next to her. Only Oliver, It was only him, always, forever.

She didn’t realize she was stroking his back until he reached back and caught her hand, intertwining her fingers with his own.

“Of course Oliver. I am sorry if I offended you, Felicity, now if you’ll please excuse us, we have a meeting with some lawyers.” Felicity didn’t hear an inch of sincerity in Moira’s voice, as she left the room, but it didn’t even matter.

“Well when I come home, and Oliver lets you out from behind his back, we should have coffee, I have a feeling were going to be friends.” Thea said, and Felicity could practically feel the smirk on the teenagers face.

“Thea, don’t you have somewhere to be?” Oliver said warningly.

“Alright, alright, I’m going. Bye, brother, bye Felicity, the light of my brother's life.” She sing songed making Felicity groan as she buried her head in Oliver’s back.

“Thea!” Oliver sounded like a virtuous maiden as he scolded his little sister, all he got in return was a cackle as she left.

And then they were alone.

“Why are you laughing, that was not a laughing situation.” He remarked not bothering to turn around, still holding her hand in his, and if he wasn’t going to bring it up neither was she.

“You’re sister, she’s nice.”

“She’s a terror is what she is.” Oliver said but she could hear the smile in his voice, and when he turned around (still holding her hand)her suspicion was confirmed as his small smile was making it hard to breathe.

“You love her.” She said smiling back at him.

“Yeah,” he said in the softest voice she’s heard from him yet as he stared down at her, the intensity of him was always present but in this moment it felt like it had cranked up to a hundred, “yeah, I do.”

Her breath caught at the look he was giving her and he’s words, Oliver still had ways of surprising her.

For a second it looked like he was going to lean down, to maybe kiss her, and lord how she wanted that. She couldn’t deny anymore how much she needed this man, how she was willing to fight for him. Felicity was even coming around to the destiny of them, the fact that they were Soulmate, in this moment she really believed it, that it could be possible.

 

Maybe, she could try just once more, maybe..

Oliver’s phone ringing ripped them out of their bubble and Oliver jerked away and with him taking so many steps back, her heart burnt, it felt like acid had crept into her chest, and she rubbed over the skin where her beating organ was, trying to take the searing pain away.

“Yes?” Oliver clipped out and she turned to look at him, only now noticing that his eyes never left her, or more specifically her hand where it was clutched to her chest.

Oliver’s hand had done the same, he was clutching the fabric of his Hently squeezing it, Felicity stopped suddenly realizing the position she put herself in. And when her movement froze, Oliver looked back at her with narrowed eyed suspicion.

He continued to look into her eyes, probably she looked like a deer caught in a predator's trap.

She wasn’t wrong. 

Oliver gave a curt goodbye to whoever was on the phone and the pushed the end button.

“We are going to talk about this Felicity.” He said in a low rumble and she wanted to curse the universe for giving her such an observant man as her Soulmate.

“I have Hood business to attend to, and no before you ask you can’t help, not until you’ve fully healed, but when I come back we are talking about this.” 

She nodded reluctantly as the storm of a thousand emotions raced through his eyes.

“Oliver,” She said hesitatingly while it looked like he was preparing to leave, “Thank you, for defending me. You didn’t need to, so thank you.”

With three strides he was back in her space, his fingers trailing her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes, where it felt like he touched her soul, “ I did need to, nobody talks to you in that way, not even my family. I know I’ve hurt you,” She closed her eyes at those memories but opened them again when he cradled her cheek in his palm, stroking her cheek bone, “And I will try with everything in me to protect you from that again, that includes myself and anyone that would dare try hurt you. You’ll always be my priority, you’ll always be my girl Felicity.”  
A soft kiss to her forehead that left her with so much love for him, and then he was striding out the door.

Maybe telling him about them being Soulmates wouldn’t be as hard as she thought, Felicity didn’t eve try to hide the full blown smile that touched her lips.

 

*****

That was easier said than done, even though Felicity was prepared to tell him now, she had made lists and practiced in the mirror, they didn’t get the time.

It wasn’t because he was avoiding her (yay progress) it was just one thing after the other. Mostly Thea’s court appearance was keeping him busy, and the girl was tough that much Felicity could see, but she also really needed her brother, a fact that she yelled at him, when Hood business looked to be taking over his brain. That led to a fight about Vertigo and why she wasn’t involved. Which predictably led to Oliver ranting about her injuries.

And honestly she got it, but she was doing much better, she was even thinking that staying in the Queen mansion wasn’t necessary anymore. But she sure took it back when she mentioned this to Oliver and watched just how much his eye could twitch and how painful that vein on his forehead could throb.

She was pretty sure the reason they were both so edgy was because despite living in the same house they never really saw each other which led to tension and twitchy-ness. It was honestly driving her mad, she was alone in this house except for the time when Thea would stop by with snacks and nail polish and butt loads of caffeine, she was a little in love already, and bless the girl she always managed to make Felicity smile. (Even if most of their conversations had Oliver in them, which usually left her blushing and reminding her of their stupid bond and how much she missed the man)

Thea’s friendship was a welcome surprise, Moira on the other hand, Felicity hadn’t seen anything of, to the point where she was wondering if Mrs. Queen had her own bond with Felicity to know where she was and wasn’t.

But that was being paranoid, hopefully.

The cabin fever was especially starting to kick in and it didn’t help that Walters absence was getting suspicious, the longer he wasn’t in the house, when she mentioned this to Oliver he shrugged it off as a long business trip but promised to look into it when he saw the fear In her eyes. 

He was declared missing a day later.

And that was the straw that broke the camels back.

Which led her to where she was now, fixing the computers in Oliver's lair to not something out of the eighties.

 

When she was finally behind the computer again, she felt like she could breathe naturally, having something to do, something to focus on was helping the overwhelming fear of Walter’s safety at bay.

She searched high and low for him and got lost in the code, until she heard the opening of the door that is.  
“I mean the Bratva, seriously Oliver, and you’re a fucking Captain am I going to get an explanation or is thins one of the thing we don’t talk about.” That was Digg and he was pissed. She could understand the feeling.

“You should be at home.” Oliver clipped out right behind her ear, so close his breath tickled her skin, she ignored the home comment and focused on the other thing.

“And you shouldn’t be playing Captain of the Bratva. I guess we both wrong.” Her eyes lit with fierce anger, she didn’t even want to think of the tormenting memories of Russia. But here he was, going back to that world.

“Of course, you know.” Digg said a bit grumpily.

“I don’t, I was just there three times and Oliver never told me once why he was there with the Bratva or his crazy ex who tried to poison him.” She smiled smugly as he glowered at her. 

“What crazy ex?” Did asked.

“She wasn’t-” Oliver said but then stopped and let out a sigh in exasperation, “You know what no,” You,”He pointed at Digg, “Leave it alone and you,” He then pointed to Felicity, “Get your things I’m taking you home. You shouldn’t be on that leg, or using your arm too much.”

“First of all, I’m using my right arm and I’m sitting.” She said reasonably but she forgot who she was talking to. Oliver wasn’t reasonable. So she tried a different approach, “I”m looking for Walter and I can’t do that at your house, please Oliver, if I don’t do something I’ll go out of my mind. He was nice to me, I have to find him.”

Oliver looked at her, really looked and she could see the moment he let it go, “Fine, but I want your foot elevated, and if your wrist gets sore you stop, no arguments.” 

“Done and Done.” She saluted him and he just shook his head with a smile, and that’s when they both realized this was the closest they had been since forever, or a few days but whose counting.

As it had every time before the world close until it was only them...and Digg who let himself be known by coughing.

“Still here, again.” He said mockingly while Felicity stuck out her tongue and went back to work lest she do something appropriate, like run her fingers over his leather jacket.

Better to focus on Walter.

 

A couple hours in and she felt The Tug, she looked around but Oliver wasn’t around and then she fell.

Of course it was an Oliver is in Danger tug, not Oliver is near tug, she wished there was instructions for this stuff.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.” Digg said crouching down beside an unconscious Oliver in his bed.

“What happened?” She gasped practically running towards the bed.

“He passed out, got injected by a high does of Vertigo. Dammit I knew he was toughing it out.” Johns frustrated yell echoed across the room as Felicity reached out to touch Oliver.

“Careful, the last time I tired that he-” John was cut off when Oliver gasped and sat up in on fluid motion, then he bear hugged her.

“Felicity.” Oliver stretched out the syllables of her name as he clutched her tighter to him.

“I got choked and she gets a hug, of course.” Digg muttered while Oliver let out a huff that sounded like a laugh against her neck.

She rubbed his back up and down trying to comfort him, “How are you feeling?”

“Better now.” He said nuzzling her neck, Felicity gasped at the action and when he started kissing the open skin, she couldn’t restrain the moan, or electric jolt that hit her fast and hard, she got addicted quickly to the feel of his lips on her, and moved to get closer. To bridge that gap between them and hold on for dear life and never let go.

“Guys, I’m still fucking here.” John groaned and muttered something that sounded a lot like ‘stupid Soulmates and if nothing else that made her pull back from Oliver, even though it hurt a hell of a lot too, and by the way he was rubbing his chest it burnt him too.

“Right.” She coughed as Oliver removed himself from her neck, but didn’t remove his hold on her waist, he just moved his hand to where her heart was and stared in confusion.

Felicity did too. It stopped burning, as soon as Oliver touched her, the pain stopped. He carefully rested her hand on his chest, above that beating organ, she loved so much, and watched in stunned amazement when he completely relaxed. No pain marring his face.

“What the hell?” He whispered softly, reverently in a tone that had her insides going as soft as mush.

Right. This could wait, one thing couldn’t though.

“Where’s the Vertigo?” She asked the men at large but mostly focused on John because Oliver was lost in his own world.

“Why?”

“Because I need to see what he got dosed with and try to make an antidote.”

Oliver pulled a syringe out of his jacket and handed it to her, she looked at the yellow liquid before looking to Oliver.

“I’m going to the Lair to check this out,” 

“I’m coming with.” He said and tried to get up, but Felicity could see he forgot she was practically on top of him, and she used that to her advantage when she shoved him back down.

“Oh no your not, you are going to stay here and relax, John will take me there.” 

“Felicity-” he sounded way to tired to have this argument.

“Nope, not listening, Oliver for once in your life let someone take care of you for a change.” She said while caressing his soft hair.  
He looked up at her with those striking blue eyes, “You always take care of me Felicity, it should be the other way around.”

“We take care of each other.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehand like he had done so many times.

“Look after her John.” Oliver called out as the walked to the door.

“Always will, man”

 

A little over an hour and she had the antidote to make Oliver feel as good as new, she convinced John to leave her to her computers still trying to find Walter. He did, very reluctantly, making her promise to call the moment she was done.

She did but asked if they could meet at Big Belly Burger instead, she was craving a milkshake.

Night had fallen over The Glades and rain was crashing down, Felicity tried unsuccessfully to flag down a cab and she wondered if that Cab driver had spread rumors about a crazy blonde who talked too much. 

Trying again had the same results as she decided to book it to the burger joint instead. 

It was a mistake. 

Her ankle was calling her all sorts of mean names, the rain had her shivering with cold, and she was currently being held against the throat by The Devil himself.

She probably should have led with that, her priorities may have been a tad wonky.

“Hello, Felicity Smoak. I told you we would meet again, sweetheart.” The dark voice said menacingly.

The ringing of her phone was the only answer in the otherwise empty alley way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So love it? Hate it? Wishing i didn't update? either way, thank you for reading. Much Love.


	10. A promise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll weather any storm as long as you're by my side"
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dolls like I said before there is angst coming.
> 
> And this chapter is spilling with angst so prepare thee self' 
> 
> I think I only have two chapter left, Go me!
> 
> I hope I didn't disappoint.
> 
> Come say hi over on tumblr, I'm always happy to chat. I'm 'Octoberwren there as well.
> 
> Much Love as always.
> 
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” The piece of human waste asked and she could almost see the grin on his face behind the hood.

“Depends.” Felicity said choking, when his grip on her throat tightened, “are you going to stop strangling me?”

He let go of the pressure around her throat but didn’t remove his hand.

“Better?” He asked condescendingly. Asshat.

“Much.” She replied with as much snark as her bruised neck would allow, turns out it was a lot.

“So are you going to answer that, it might be the Hood, he would be oh so worried if you don’t.” he said sweetly, and she resisted the urge to knee him in the balls.

It was more likely John wondering where she was, but either men would be a bad situation to get into if she answered the call.

She couldn’t do that to them.

So she lifted her head and snarled, “No” Oliver would be proud.

“Oh and why is that?” He could be talking about the weather, but the way his fingers flexed she knew the crazy man was only a thin line away from snapping.

Because if she did that Oliver or Digg would rush to try and save her, and this evil man would use her as leverage. That wouldn’t end well for either of them.

She would rather die right here, that subject Oliver or John to choosing between their life and hers, Felicity knew what choice they would make.

They were hero’s after all and she would go to hell and back before they made that kind of choice.

“So no then?” He asking tilting his head as she stayed silent and the phone stopped it’s ringing.

“What do you want?” She asked finally, because no matter what Oliver said about her self-preservation, she didn’t actually want to die, and maybe if he talked long enough she could find a way out of this mess.

Oliver would kill her if she died.

“I want him to know that I can get to you anytime I want, I want him to be so distracted by your safety that he’s not thinking clearly, I want him to hurt.” The dark archer said with such hatred that Felicity felt the cold hands of death clutch her heart.

“Why, he hasn’t done anything to you” Felicity knew the rage was a bad idea, that she had to stay calm but she couldn’t help it, she shoved his chest, which only made his fingers tighten around her neck as he pushed her against the hard wall.

“He got in my way!” The anger he unleashed made her flinch back, but she had nowhere to go.

“I won’t tell him, no matter what you do, and if you kill me,” She said fiercely shoving down the cold hard fear rushing through her, “He won’t rest until your buried in the ground, he’ll win, he always does.” 

He scoffed at her belief, “Not this time sweetheart, and even if you don’t tell him. He’ll know.” 

She wondered what a corpse could possibly say as his grip grew tighter around her neck, and she couldn’t breathe, her lungs bunt with the air she wasn’t receiving. She clawed and kicked, but he was too strong, she wasn’t a match for him at all.

The only thought she had was that at least for all of how wrong this was, at least Oliver was safe.

 

She woke to rushing in her ears and a burning in a throat.

The ringing was her phone, the burning, well...she touched her throat and winced at the soreness of her skin.

“Hello?” Felicity croaked out.

“What happened?” was the terrified and furious reply.

“How did you know.” Was her delirious reply to Oliver’s question.

“I don’t-I don’t know. I just did, I had a feeling.” Oliver muttered, then became his usual bossy self, “Where are you?”

She looked around and spotted a street sign, she rattled it off to Oliver. 

“I’ll be there in five minutes, don’t move.”

He made it in three.

She knew the instant he was there, of course she did.

“Fuck, Felicity.” He moaned like a wounded animal as he crouched down, blocking the rain from spilling over her more.

Looking up at him, it all rushed back to her, how close she was, only now with him so close, she finally felt safe enough to let to bravado go as the tears came.

She hiccuped a breath when he oh so softly touched the wounds on her throat.

The dark rage blead into his eyes as he picked her up from the dirty ground and carried her to where John was waiting anxiously by the car.

“Who did this?” Oliver asked slowly, roughly, without looking at her, why wasn’t he looking at her?

There was a part of her that wanted to tell him it was a mugging gone wrong, she didn’t want him to close himself off more to her that he already was, she desperately wanted to cling to the man he was slowly showing her. A man that was choosing to have a life with her.

Felicity knew that the truth would break them both.

With a sigh, she turned to look out the window of the car as he got in beside her and John in the driver seat.

“It was the same man as in the warehouse.” She said, because of course she did, how could she not tell him the truth, it wasn’t in her to lie to him, and because of that, she had to watch his reflection in the window.

Had to watch as his eyes hardened to steel and the man he was slowly showing her hid behind layers of walls it took years for her to break down. Gone in a second.

Felicity sigh again.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw him that night, Felicity, I could have done something, I could have kept you safe dammit.” his explosion in the small space was nuclear.

Felicity barely moved as she watched the droplets of rain racing down the window, when she was a kid she used to sit in the back of her mother's car and watch the rain like this, trying to see which one made it to the finish line, which ones got lost on the way, and the ones who were knocked off course completely.

“Felicity!” Oliver’s harsh voice snapped her out of her depressing thoughts, maybe the archer choked the happiness right out of her.

“Oliver don’t” Digg said in warning looking at her in the mirror, she barely noticed.

“No, she was reckless with her life. You should have said-”He’s words were cut off when Felicity looked at him and he drew in a harsh breath, she must have looked as empty as she felt if she could inspire that sort of reaction.

“Can we not do this, I’m sorry alright, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry you had to come and save me again, I’m sorry that it’s my job to save you, but it never works out that way.” She knew she was growing hysterical but she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. “I’m sorry okay, for everything since the beginning we met until right this moment and everything in-between. 

I’ll tell you everything he said tomorrow, but I can’t do this right now. I can’t have another screaming match and watch as you shut down. I can’t, not tonight, not after-I just can’t. Please Oliver.”

The words had barely left her mouth before she was pulled into his lap, and Oliver rained down kisses over every part of her face.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” He kissed her cheek, “Nothing. I should have protected you, it’s not your job to save me, it’s your right. It’s my job to make sure you never get hurt again, I promised you that. I promised Felicity.” he kissed her tears away, and the moved to her neck where butterfly kisses came next, she didn’t even think she could feel it, by how tenderly he was soothing her burning skin, but by the way her heart raced and clenched, she knew knew he was kissing her softly.

“I’m the one whose sorry Felicity,” he said as he moved to the other side of her neck, “God I’m so sorry.”

“Oliver no one could keep that promise, not even you, you may be my hero, but your not God, you can’t watch me all the time. It wasn’t your fault. It never will be.” Felicity realised what she needed, this being in his arms that felt like home, to make sure the fear was chased away. As long as she had him, she never needed to be afraid.

She told him as much.

“You always do that,” he said shaking his head in wonder, of her, Felicity Smoak could inspire awe in a man like Oliver Queen, it was the most humbling thing to see.

“No matter how hurt you are, no matter what happens, you always end up comforting me. Why is that?”

She knew her eyes were filled with every kind of emotion laid bare as she stared at him, her Soulmate. Not because it was density or fate, but because she, Felicity Smoak, chose it. Chose him. For how ever long he was in her life, she was going to stand next to this tortured, wonderful man and make damn sure he finally became happy. 

Something in her clicked into place, something like her universe finally aligning right, as she gave him a blinding smile, and whispered. “You know why.”

Oliver then kissed her lips, something she had been craving since Russia, but never actually thought would happen again. And it was everything she remembered it was, slower and gentler maybe, but no less intense or heart stopping.

Oliver kissed her as the rain beat down on the car, his arms wrapped tightly around her body, and Felicity knew that she would gladly spend the rest of her life right here in this moment.

Reality kind of ruined the moment as Diggle and Oliver said (demanded) that she was going to the hospital for a check up.

When she was doped up on a handful of meds and lying in Oliver Queens bed feeling fluffy as a cloud.

“What are you laughing about?” The mentioned Queen came into the room while she was giggling like a loon.

“I’m in Oliver Queens bed.” She stage whispered and he just smiled in amusement, Felicity didn’t think he quite got the enormity of the situation so she felt duty bound to explain it to him.

“I’ve always want to be in Oliver Queens bed” She said forcefully.

“Felicity, you’ve been sleeping in my bed for the better part of a month.” Oliver said coming up to her side of the bed and stroking her hair. Which really felt good, like soooo good.

“Mmmm that feels awesome,” She heard a chuckle and really wanted to open her eyes to see the laugh etched onto his face, but her eyes were so sleepy. “No I mean I want Oliver Queen to sleep next to me.”

The hand stopped and she nudged her head to keep it going, but it stubbornly refused to move, so she tried extra hard to open her sleepy eyes and almost fist-bumped when it worked.

Her blurry gaze fell on Oliver frozen in mid pat. “Oliver, I didn’t mean to freeze you,I mean shock you.”He brain was working over time trying to find the right words, which sucked on a normal day, load her up with pain pill and it becomes a nightmare of epic proportion.

So she searched her brain and finally thought she found them, “I don’t mean for the sex-not that I wouldn’t love-I would really. Stop looking at me like that your freaking me out.”  
She whined to Oliver whose eyes were widening the more she spoke. “I mean.” She said again determined to finish this damn sentence even if her head felt like cotton candy. “I mean that I feel safest with you, all that time on my own, wondering where you were, if you were okay, that you weren't cold or scared. All that time and I wished every day that I could be near you so that I knew we were both as safe as we could be. Together.”

She knew that she would blush manically tomorrow, but the look of Oliver made it worth it. He looked stunned and happy at the same time. And that’s all she ever wanted for him. 

To be happy, it was just a lucky bonus that she had put that look on her face.

 

He slid in easily behind her curving his body and intertwining their legs, while his arms closed around her, making her feel the safest since the car.

“Better?” He asked against her throat careful not to damage her anymore, and even though the same words had been said by a much more evil man to her.

She didn’t even acknowledge the fact, just snuggled deeper into his warm embrace. “Mmmm much better.”

“You know Felicity” His deep rumble came to her while she was almost asleep and she felt the vibration from his chest onto her back. “I wished for the same thing. Just to be with you like this. Together.”

“Well,” she said with a contented sigh, “It’s a good thing we found each other again.”

“Was there any doubt?” He asked but she figured he knew the answer anyway.

“For awhile there it didn’t look like it.” She said sadly.

“Never again. I promise you, Felicity, that I will do everything in my power to never leave you alone again. Go to sleep, I’ll be right here.”Oliver said in determination, holding her closer until there wasn’t any part of them that didn’t fit perfectly.

“Promise?” She asked softly, with a tremble she couldn’t hope to hide.

“With everything in me.” And with that vow ringing in her brain she fell into a blissful sleep.

****

Damnable drugs, she hated her mouth tasting like cotton, and her head being fuzzy. This is why she told Oliver she didn’t want any pain medication. She always slept like the dead and always felt disorientated afterwards. 

And speaking of the man, where was he.

Scratch that.

Where the frinking frack was she?!

She was laying on tile, cold ass tile, but she hadn’t hit her head, the only injury she had was the still bruised neck.

Which was strange, and was that crying?

With no better clue she got up and walked to the sound and when she reached her destination, her blurry mind cleared up in a second, and she knew exactly where she was, and where Oliver was.

Q.C.

He promised, he promised to be right next to her, why couldn’t he keep it, why did everything they did, no matter how hard they tried, why did it always, always blow up in their faces so damn spectacularly.

If he had kept his promise, he wouldn’t be here, they would be in bed, safe and warm. They would be together not alone. Because that’s exactly how this was going to play out wasn’t it?

She could feel it in the air, something ominous and foreboding, something that felt like death.

And Felicity made a promise of her own a split second before she saw Moira with the gun, she would never let it be Oliver.

Not because it was her job, not because she was a Guardian but because Oliver Queen would always be the love of her life, and there never was a choice in this. If it came down to it, she’d walk to hell to drag him out of it.

Oliver would do what he did best, he would survive, with or without her, that’s just who he was the most wonderful man she had ever met, someone meant for greatness, someone destined to be a hero. A light in the darkness. He would save countless lives, he would become the man he was always meant to be. He already was in her opinion.

He could survive this, she never would.

So it was easy really, to push him out of the way and take the bullet meant for him, from his own mother.

As easy as breathing, which was actually getting quite difficult and the blood spreading her blouse was probably the reason why? Had she slept with her clothes on? Strange she never did that.

“No, no, no, no.” How and when she tumbled to the grown she doesn’t know, what she does know is she’s now looking up at Oliver’s devastated face.

Oh.

Oliver was right, for a genius she was quite stupid.

He loved her just has much as she loved him, what a time to figure it out. But she doesn’t regret it, no never that. If it was between him and her. She would always choose him. Every time without fail.

“Felicity look at me, open those beautiful eyes, don’t you dare close them. You're staying right here with me. You are not leaving not now not ever, we promised remember?” The desperation in his voice makes her nod her head and if her blood wasn’t already half on the floor, then she pretty sure her heart would be bleeding for him.

“Oliver.” A gasp that isn’t her comes from her left, but she can’t move so she just looks up at Oliver, wanting to memorise his features, even if it’s etched with rage.

Felicity has seen so many faces of Oliver’s, tenderness, pain, hurt, joy, hope, anger, love, but she doesn’t think she’s ever seen this look.

One of pure hatred and loathing, as he snarls the words like a beast, “I will never forgive you for this.”

The pain is starting to come in waves at her full force as she moans.

“Digg, I need you, now!”

She swims back from the blackness, only to feel that their moving, and she thinks she in his arms again. 

Felicity couldn’t ask for anything more really as she’s carried by them man she loves. Not a lot of people get to die with their Soulmate holding them. She quite lucky.

Until Oliver jars her a bit and then the agonising wound makes her want to vomit, she must have made some sort of noise because all she can see is blue as Oliver looks down at her and frown in worry,

“I know baby, I know it hurts, you just have to fight a little longer we’re almost there and then everything is going to be fine. You are going to be fine” He stares ahead again and picks up his walk to an almost jog.

Felicity wonderer’s if he trying to convince her or himself, probably himself, her legs have gone numb now, and she knows that no matter how good they are at saving each other, this time, is the last.

Even Oliver can’t kill death.

She goes in and out of darkness listening to the voices that surround her, and she doesn’t know where she is but she swims towards the blue of his eyes, the last thing that she’s sure is tethering her to this world.

She’s in the lair, she thinks, but the lights are too bright, it may be the hospital, theres shouting and silence. More voices, one of them is hers, but she can’t be sure.

Felicity wants to tell him one last time that she loves him, she wants to tell Oliver that it’s not his fault. Never his fault, she wants to let him know that their Soulmates, but that would probably hurt too much. 

But more than anything she wants him to know that he was her choice, that she would pick him over and over again, In any reality, in any lifetime it would be him. She would forever choose him.

She thinks she tells him these thing, she thinks maybe not. Everything is just so blue.

Felicity knows that he asked her why, in-between all the jumbled up moments she is certain that he asked her that.

Why did she do it?

And she answered simply to ease his soul, “Because I made a promise.”

She thinks she hears an inhuman scream when her time finally comes, but she can’t see over all the blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. There is more I promise! I just can't help myself ; ) Thank you for taking the time to read. And as it stands now we have finally reached the part Of Oliver's flash forward.


	11. A world without you is no world at all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not afraid of the world, I'm afraid of a world without you."
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello fellow Olicity fandom.
> 
> How i've missed you and this story, this one took a lot out of me also because I wrote you two chapters! I'm also very much sad because this is the end. I have loved this journey i've been on with all you and the countless support i've gotten with this. You will never know the amount of joy you have given me or the love I have for all of you. All of your comments and kudos, i just never in a million years would have expected it from an odd idea I had with our favorite couple. But you continued to surprise me with all your praise and i just want to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart and soul. I would never have been able to finish this story without your countless support.
> 
> Much, Much love to you. Be happy all you wonderful unicorns. Come say Hi to me over at Tumblr I go by Octoberwren there as well, I always love talking to you guys!
> 
> Before I go I want to let you know this is in Oliver POV. I do so love writing for that man.
> 
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

“Oliver.”

He doesn’t know how long he’s been down on the cold concrete and he doesn’t care.

She’s gone and now anything that even resembled humanity inside of him, that survived the island is gone and buried with her.

Not that she’s even buried, no she’s still on that fucking table, the one where he couldn’t save her on. He watched as every joy and happiness he ever had in a future died along with her.

And now there’s nothing left of him except a burnt out shell, all his parts scraped out and raw.

He should have told her, at least once, hell he should have told her the second he walked into that office, but the coward that he is, he never did. And now she’ll never know, he knows he’s gone insane when the very thought of that hanging over his head for the rest of his God forsaken life, bring him joy.

She’ll always be with him then at least, even if it’s a haunted memory of the one thing he never said.

She’ll never know.

Unless...

“No Dear, that’s a bad idea, Nanda Parbat is not the place to take your Soulmate.” A whimsical voice floats from his right.

“What the actual fuck?!” John shouts startled at the woman who appeared out of nowhere, just like Felicity.

That gives him pause.

“Who are you?” Oliver asks much more calmer than Diggle, but that’s only because he can’t handle any other emotions other that the crushing grief that already filled him up to the brink. He can’t even move, so he doesn’t. He just looks up at this strange woman with the same power that Felicity had.

“I’m Vicky. Felicity’s Guardian.” 

Oliver doesn’t remember making the conscious decision to get up, all he can feel is an overwhelming rage take over his entire being and it a welcome one. It’s so much better than the absolute agony of numbness that spread just seconds before. 

He’s anger at this woman vibrates through his body, in a movement so quick he’s already in her face barely holding back the urge to hurt and main.

“You’ve done a fucking fantastic job so far.” This woman, Guardian, his mind spits, just blinks back at him unfazed. 

“I didn’t need to do anything Oliver, you were always there. There was no need for me until now.” She stands straight and despite her flowing gypsy-like clothing, she looks like a warrior.

Her words suddenly hit him and he can’t breathe, because if he hopes...

Dig asks the question he’s too afraid to, “You can help her? How she’s dead.”

Just that word is enough to knock him back a step, to make that flare of rage of emotion leave him until nothing is left. He feels so fucking empty, like there a vital part of him missing, like he’s soul, he’s heart has vanished and whatever makes Oliver, Oliver is gone.

It is. She is.

“I can bring her back.” Vicky says to Digg, but she’s looking at him, searching he’s gaze he is certain she won’t find anything, he has nothing left to give. Even her words don’t inspire much, because nothing is ever that easy.

“What’s the price? There always is one..” Oliver asks detached, he can’t even summon up an iota of joy this conversation should be giving him.

He feel cold and numb. He feels nothing.

“What if I said it was your life?” She says while crossing her arms, standing in front of the woman he would give everything and anything for. “What would you say then, if I could bring her back for that sacrifice.”

“I’d say give me a gun and watch me put a bullet in my brain.” He’s still trying to care about this, about any of this, she would want him to, Felicity would want him to. But he can’t, he doesn’t even feel the guilt he knows he should.

He thinks something’s terribly wrong with him.

“Oliver! Be serious man, I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me. But the last thing she would want is for you to sacrifice yourself for her. Even if it works she would hate herself for it.” Diggs words don’t get a reaction out of him, so the bigger man walked forward and grips his arm.

“Look at me, man.” Digg pulls hiss body so he’s standing in front of him and whatever he see on Oliver's face makes him shudder in a gasp and take a step back.

He must look as dead as he feels.

Oliver shakes his head trying to remove the thought. He’s not dead, she is.

That’s what’s wrong with him.

“I can’t live in a world where she doesn’t exist Digg, I’m sorry, this is how it is.” He turns from his partner and looks at the woman who might make all this possible. With a nod to her, he says, “Do it.”

With one last glance at Felicity and even though he can’t feel it, he knows he loves her, knows that with all that’s wrong about this situation, that at least is the only thing right.

Oliver will love Felicity Smoak until the end of time, he just hopes she can forgive him for this,

With a clap of her hands, Vicky makes his world go black.

Then startling white.

He would think this is heaven but Oliver knows with the amount of blood on his hands that, that was not the direction he was headed in the afterlife.

“You’re so dramatic, has anyone told you that?” Vicky says, while she sits next to him on one of the white plastic chairs.

The sounds are coming to him more distinctly now, the wheeling of beds on tiles, the voice calling for a doctor.

He’s in a hospital.

“I don’t understand, Where’s Felicity?” Oliver’s voice comes out hoarse as if he hasn’t used it in over a week.

With a wave of her hand Oliver gets up and starts for the door in front of him, the small window reveals Felicity on a hospital bed looking so small and fragile with countless wires and tubes coming out of her.

But her chest is rising and falling and that is the most important part.

“Who are you?” He says next, instead of the question he really wants to ask.

Why can’t he still not feel anything? This should bring him to his knees, he should feel an astounding amount of relief but instead, there’s just...nothing.

If he had any emotion at all this would be the part where he starts to panic.

“Does it matter? You got your girl back.” Vicky says at his question. “What you should be asking is why you still feel dead inside, why you always felt a little too much with her and now you feel nothing at all.”

“Since you have all the answers, the why?”

“Because,” She says with a roll of her eyes and a tone accusing him of being an idiot, “Your Soulmates. Emphasis on the ‘Soul’ of it all. You’re both connected through that and one can not live without the other. Precisely what you said to Mr. Diggle, you knew you couldn’t live without her, even if you didn’t understand the severity of it. If she failed to live, you would have wasted away and the powers that be couldn’t allow that to happen, you have a great destiny ahead of you, Oliver.”

He was sure this information should be mind bending or at least shocking but it all seemed so logical. The need to have her near, the fierce ache when she wasn’t like someone was pulling at his heart, squeezing the breath out of him, until he had to see her to just get a small amount of relief. 

The bond they had in an instant, the amount of terror he felt at witnessing her appear out of nowhere and disappearing just as fast, leaving him scared shitless because he couldn’t see her so he couldn’t protect her. The amount of intense love he had for her, always making him draw closer even when he knew shouldn’t.

Soulmates. Of course.

“Did she know?” Because she had to have.

“Of course, she did.”

“Then why didn’t she tell me?” Because she should have.

“Maybe,” Vicky said with a small sad smile, “ she didn’t think you would believe her, maybe she didn’t want you to run off like you tend to do. Or it could be because she wanted you to lover her for what she is and not because destiny declared it. It could be all of those things, but you’ll never know until you ask her. So what are you waiting for.”

What was he waiting for? She was right there within touching distance, why wasn’t he right there demanding she open her eyes so he could see the blue of them, so he could finally tell her.

“I still-” He had to lick his suddenly dry lips, “I still can’t feel anything. What if I can never feel anything? She doesn’t deserve that.”

“You second guess yourself too much Oliver, sometimes all you need is a leap of faith.”

“What about the price?”He asked just this one last question before he opened the door.

This time Vicky’s smile was happy “I said would you give your life, I never said you should. Hope Oliver, sometimes that’s all it really takes.”

And with that, she was walking down the corridor with a wave.

“Thank you.” He whispered to her retreating back.

Oliver opened the door and took a leap of faith as he took a hesitant step inside, then another and another, until he was holding her small hand inside his own.

With a brush of his thumb against her smooth skin her eyes opened and inside those swirling depths, he saw the universe.

“Oliver.” Her voice, the one that he never thought would reach his ears ever again sounded like the greatest symphony ever created.

He always felt too much around her and if that used to terrify him, now he embraced it, he knew now what it felt like to not have her breathing in this word, it was a bleak, hopeless place, He was nothing without her.

All the joy and happiness she inspired in him, all the hope she gave him, looking at her beautiful face, her soul igniting his own, she felt like home.

How could he think for one second that he would feel nothing around her, she was everything and he felt everything around her; for her.

She was the love of his life and it was past time she knew that.

“I have been alone for so long, I thought that by pushing you away I was saving you. I was an idiot,” He’s breath hitched as he saw the start of tears in her eyes and as one fell on her cheek he leant down to kissed it away. Lingering for a second longer because he almost lost her, for a minute there he did. He’s grip tightened on her hand at the thought.

“I broke my promise to you, I left when I said I wouldn’t. I have no excuse for that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life staying by your side and hoping to earn your forgiveness I’ve seen so many terrible things in this world, Felicity. But none of them had the ability to break me, seeing you like that, having your blood on my hands-I-I can’t-”

“Oliver, it’s okay, I’m okay.” Felicity, the woman who had died less than an hour ago was now comforting him. She was such an amazing human being.

“I love you.” He said it, the words he always had in his heart, he said it with a blinding smile, while her eyes widened almost comically. He said them, strong and true.

“I love you so much Felicity, I will always love you. I always have. Five years ago, when you appeared out of nowhere cursing as your shoe got caught in some vines. I loved you when I came back and walked into your office.”

“I threw a pen at you.” She said almost faintly, staring up at him.

“It was red.” he kissed her forehead when she gasped, “I loved you yesterday and today.” He kissed her cheek because he couldn’t not kiss her, “And I’ll love you tomorrow and fifty years from now. I’ll love you until the world stops spinning and even longer, I never want to entertain the thought that there will be a day that goes by when I don’t have you in my life, I had to think it for today and the biggest regret I had was that I never told you how much I adore you. And even if you make that rational choice and don’t want to be with me, if you can’t forgive me, I will go on loving you until the end of my days.”

Felicity looked shell-shocked and Oliver, not one to get nervous was suddenly overwhelmed with nerves, until her lips turned into the most heart warming smile and he knew without her saying anything that finally all was right with the world.

“Oliver all I’ve ever wanted was to be by your side and for you to love me even half as much as I love you. And I do love you, Oliver, it's always been you and it always will be.” She suddenly tugged his hand, “And now I’d like a kiss please, love confessions normally end that way.”

With a laugh filled with joy, he did what the lady asked, he would never be able to deny her or himself that pleasure.

When his lips touched hers he could feel the peace settled over him, he may be destined for great things, the universe might want them to be together, but as far as Oliver was concerned Felicity was and will always be his only choice.

“So,” He said when they finally came up for air and her heart monitor was beeping to loud for his sanity “About the whole Soulmate thing.”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter folks! Hope I did okay for you. Much love as always,


	12. The beginning of forever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Their choice was each other and it was a choice they never regretted."
> 
> Felicity pops into Oliver's life in unusual ways, like magic. She has to save his life time and time again but that's okay, he sort of saves hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it Folks *gross sobbing*
> 
> I'm so happy and so fucking sad at the same times. My emotions!  
> This will be my first ever completed mulit-chapter and i really hope i didn't fudge the ending for you.  
> This is a bittersweet moment but i really feel like I gave them an ending i was proud of.
> 
> The love I have for this couple has no bounds.
> 
> And the love I have for you all is endless. As always THANK YOU! for going on the journey with me and supporting me every step of the way.
> 
> Come say hi at tumblr because I will miss the ever lovin' hell outa you guys! I go by octoberwren there as well.
> 
> MUCH MUCH LOVE FOR YOU!
> 
> And happy reading!  
> (Also I do not own Arrow, or the characters in the show. The brilliant creators and The C.W do. I just like to make crazy stories up in my mind with the Epic couple.)

There was obviously wonderful times with each other and also some not so good (terrifying,heartbreaking, soul-crushing) times.

Like Malcolm Merlyn being Satan himself and Tommy. Poor Tommy. 

Oliver going MIA and Felicity having to go drag his ass back home where it belonged she literally jump out of the world oldest plane to drag him back. The man knew being apart never ended well when it came to them, but he just had to test the whole Soulmate bond.

Oliver had to convince her quite a few times over that he really was with her because he wanted to be and not because destiny told him to be. Who knew she was going to be the one to bring that argument into to focus, they both kinda thought that out of the two of them was going to bring it up it would be Oliver.

Then there was Slade Wilson and after that, it was the League of Assassins who were actual murdering assassins.

One of those soul-crushing times came when Oliver faced off against Ra's al Ghul and got a sword in him for the trouble.

Oliver had once tried to explain what he felt like when she died, but she could never understand until the day she could. The complete nothingness. It was and still is the most terrifying thing she has ever had to experience. One that she never wants to think about again, denial is still one of her go to moves.

There have been plenty of Big Bads.

They lost a lot of people over the years, family, friends.

They gained some people too.

Working in the Arrow cave having a mission one of the two things she’ll never want to give away without a fight, because that what we do, this team, this family we’ve built. We always fight, for each other, for our City, whatever name it goes by.

And through it all, through all these times and the ones in-between, she and Oliver had been where they had always belonged, standing side by side. 

All of those quite moments that meant so much, holding each other when things seemed too hard, laughing when things were oh so easy.

Felicity thinks that’s probably what Vicky meant when she called them Soulmates, not the magic of it all, though there is that or the bond, but sitting quietly next to each other in those small moments that aren’t so small and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that come hell or high water, Oliver was the person she was forever supposed to be standing with.

Even the big moments like this one, Felicity doesn’t see anyone but him, not the guests, not Digg standing next to Oliver like the proud brother he is, not the priest, or even the ring he slides onto her finger (she feels he’s touch, she always does.) she only notices Oliver and by the look on his handsome face all he sees is her as well.

Felicity supposes their journey here was a bit (a lot) difficult, it would be with the two most stubborn people on earth. Even if destiny was practically popping her naked to where ever he was at the time.

It certainly wasn’t easy,nothing worth having ever is, as that old saying goes. The mind blowing sex helped as well, the man really had all the talents.

So yeah, one hell of a ride, and it’s probably not going to stop.

Once upon a time before magic and Guardians and life or death situations were her actual life. Felicity dreamed of a world outside of Vegas, where she could blend into the background, working as an I.T girl.

Then she popped onto an island and ran into a bare-chested Oliver Queen and he turned her life upside down. She thinks that even if fate didn’t intervene she would always suspect that something vital was missing. Her actual to goodness Soulmate.

“I do.” said Queen says now (unfortunately clothed, although the tux he’s wearing does look edible) with the biggest grin on his face.

Maybe, Felicity thinks as she puts a ring on his finger and holds onto his hand oh so tight, Oliver would have come into her life some other way, maybe she would have seen him drinking coffee and felt drawn to him, or he could have walked into her I.T office and this time she wouldn’t throw a pen at him, but babble he’s head off.

“I do.” She says with what she knows is a dopey grin on her face.

Whatever universe they were in, whichever life time she lived, she knew they would find each other, choose each other. After all, there will never be another choice to make.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” And with a jump, she’s in her new husband's arms where she has always felt safest, where she has always belonged.

Kissing him feels like coming home and he is something she’ll treasure for the rest of their lives.

And this is just the beginning of her very own happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the albeit short ending. and that i didn't disappoint you guy!
> 
> I'm-I'm just going to go cry now.
> 
> LOVE YOU!


End file.
